


From the top to the bottom, bottom to top

by water_and_jellyfish



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Drinking, Ed is an asshole, Ed is an idiot, Established Relationship, Infidelity, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Sad, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but Oswald and Edward aren't subjects of torture fyi, oswald is an idiot, they both are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/water_and_jellyfish/pseuds/water_and_jellyfish
Summary: Edward and Oswald are married. Their relationship seems to be working until Ed decides to cheat on Oswald.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 34
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic takes place in an unspecified time. I could be 5, 10 or 15 years after 11th episode. 12th episode can be part of this fic or it could have never happened in this work. You decide.

Shit, he should have known what he had been getting himself into. He should have foreseen Oswald finding out. Oswald, with his eyes and ears covering the whole city. And now he was standing in front of him, looking at his feet and swaying nervously from left to right like a naughty student in a head master's office.

''God damn you, Ed!'' Oswald hit his desk with a fist. ''Why did you do this?''

Ed parted his lips like he wanted to say something, but said nothing. It's not like he had any reasonable excuse, well, ANY excuse at all. Why? Because the moment had seemed right? Because he, the Riddler, the smartest man in Gotham, hadn't spared even a second to think about possible consequences?

''Answer me! Have you decided to shut your mouth right now about of sudden?! Usually I get headache from your talking, because you won't shut up for a second!'' Oswald yelled.

And... nothing.

''Edward, I'm waiting!''

Because the alcohol, the music, the lights and her body had dulled his senses? And that thick, sultry scent... When he closed his eyes, he could almost see that scent, that red haze.

''Say something!'' Oswald screamed and then he took shaky breath followed by sound on the edge of laughter and hysteria. Mad and sour. ''Something! Anything! Don't you have anything to say? Then lie to me! You're good at it.''

''S-sorry'' Ed's lips trembled. No, he couldn't cry, he had to face conseqences of his actions like a man.

''So you're sorry?'' Oswald spoke more calmly. ''Is that all? Sorry? Really? 'Sorry' never fixes mistakes and you know that well!''

Ed swallowed loudly.

''When I have wronged you, has 'sorry' ever made you bury the hatchet? No!'' Oswald went on.

Only now Ed found enough courage to look Oswald in the eyes. Did he hurt Oswald? Yes. But did Oswald have any right to bring their past to this discussion? No. They had decided to let the past stay in the past. He felt anger arising.

''Things were so good between us! Did you have to break that?''

''Maybe they have never been that great in the first place,'' Ed said.

''Beg your pardon?'' Oswald screeched scandalised by Ed's suggestion.

''You've heard me.''

''So is that my fault that you ended up in some woman's arms?'' Oswald put his hand on his hip.

''Would it make you feel better if it was a man?'' Ed tilted his head.

''You know that's not the point! The point is that you cheated on me! I don't care with whom!'' Oswald stomped. ''It could have been Ivy's plants, for all I care!''

Ed pursed his lips. He never needed erotic images of plants in his head, thanks Oswald.

''I should punish her for taking what is mine. But I won't, can't afford to be this petty anymore.'' Oswald straightened his back to appear more dignified.

Ed doubted Oswald gave up the idea of killing that woman. And honestly her fate was indifferent to him. She was but a bump in the monotonny of his life, if Riddler's life could be called monotonous.

''What was her name again?''

''Michelle.''

Oswald wrinkled his nose. ''Another -elle.''

''So you do care with whom?'' Ed couldn't stop himself from teasing Oswald.

''No! I don't! I just wonder how could anyone be this stupid to sleep with my husband! You. Are. My. Husband!'' Oswald dabbed Ed's chest with his index finger. ''Everybody knows that! Every fucking newspaper had written about our wedding!''

''Yeah, that was an event,'' Ed nodded recalling those sweet memories.

''Have you forgotten about that?''

''No,'' Ed only shook his head.

''Then why?!'' Oswald looked like a predator.

''It was one-night stand!'' Ed tried to defend himself at last. ''Only this once, never before and never again!''

''Oh, that's rich!'' Oswald snorted. ''Ever since I realised you were the one, I've never looked at any other man, I've never even considered being with somebody else than you. That wasn't even an option! Because even mere thought would be like betrayal not only to you, but also to myself.''

''Oh, my most sincere apologies, princess, for daring to be other than you!''

''Just tell me if I'm not enough for you any more!'' Oswald yelled.

''It's not like that!'' Ed started backing off.

''Are you sure? 'Cause it seems to me that it is. You used to praise me, tell me how we both stood out from the boring people of Gotham, how we were meant to be together, chosen by fate to be better than all of those half-brains. And now in your eyes I've become one of them. Boring, blending in, so ordinary it hurts. Mediocrity in every inch.''

''I would never call you that,'' Ed put his hand on his chest to emphasise his words.

''Perhaps,'' Oswald shrugged. ''But you think that.''

''And out of sudden you've learnt how to read in my mind?'' Ed snapped.

''I don't need to. I know you, Ed. Don't forget that.''

''Oh, yes, you know me so well! And why? I found out you've been spying on me!'' Ed accused. ''What happened to the trust between us?''

''Well, I was in right mind not to trust you, not that I'm surprised!'' Oswald spat. ''Besides, I wasn't even spying on you, one of my people saw the two of you minding your business.''

''Oh, look at mister trustworthy!''

''Well, at least I'm not the one destroying this marriage!''

''Now what, you wanna divorce?'' Ed crossed his arms.

''No!'' Oswald grabbed Ed by lapels. ''Have you been paying any attention to my words?''

''Then what are you trying to achieve?''

''I don't know! What about trying to break through that thick skull of yours, so you could see what you've done?'' Oswald huffed.

''That's not going to undo it.''

''But that doesn't mean we should just ignore an elephant in the room! It is there!''

''What are we going to do about this elephant then?'' Ed suddenly felt tired and powerless. He couldn't find any solution. He backed himself into this corner.

''...don't know, Eddie.'' Oswald sighed.

''Couple counseling?'' Ed suggested.

''Please, they could be easily bribed like everyone in this city.'' Oswald rolled his eyes. ''I'm not going to give away our secrets in the hands of our enemies.''

''Then we could try to go on.''

''And pretend that nothing had happened?'' Oswald grimaced.

''No. And try to work it out.''

''Ed, we both know it's not gonna work.''

''Then what? Do you see any other options?''

''Listen to me. After everything we've done to each other being with you seemed impossible. And I accepted that... I did, Ed. I did, because I knew it was a lost case, that I wouldn't stop loving you and that you wouldn't love me. But you did or didn't you?'' There was no anger in Oswald's eyes, only sadness.

''I love you, that hasn't changed, Oswald.'' Ed put his hand on his husband's cheek, but Oswald repulsed it. Ed then placed his and gently on Oswald's shoulder. ''We've been through much worse things than this. It's not a lost case.''

''Ed, I can't go again through the circle of resentment, enmity, alliance, friendship and, if we're lucky, stable relationship. I'm-I'm just too tired. I'm sorry, I can't, I just...'' Oswald hid his face in his palms. ''I'm too weak to face this again. Especially when nothing was foreshadowing this and things were great and looking up.''

''But that's how it works, doesn't it? I screw up and you screw up, but then fate brings us together again.''

''And the cycle repeats and repeats and repeats and I'm done,'' Oswald made circles with his head.

''You're giving up?'' Ed was shocked.

''No... I dunno. I don't know what to do anymore,'' Oswald sighed. ''Please understand, I'm tired of fighting. I have to fight for everything, well, I don't have to explain you, you know.'' Penguin waved his hand. ''I naively thought I wouldn't have to fight for this relationship any more and now I'm just tired.''

''Okay,'' Ed nodded. ''I see.''

''Sure you do,'' Oswald huffed and turned his head to avoid looking at Ed. ''Tell me, have you ever loved me? Have you ever meant those words when you spoke them?''

''Oswald, you know,'' Ed begged.

''Do you love me?''

''I do! How many times do I have to tell you? I love you, I do love you.''

''The thing is, I can't bring myself to believe you any more. I can't believe you meant it, forgive me, I can't,'' Oswald bit his lip to hide how distraught he was. ''But I know you're right, we'll figure it out. Just let me sleep on this, alright?''

''Sure,'' Ed almost whispered.

''Oh, and one more thing, you're not sleeping in our bedroom tonight.''

''Can I kiss you goodbye at least?'' Ed asked hopefully.

''Don't test my patience, Ed,'' Oswald eyed him.

And so Edward spent night in his former bedroom, staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything that has happened. Gosh, he was so stupid. They were happy together, sure they argued a lot, but it's never been serious. Only squabbles forgotten by the end of the day. How two hot headed people could stop themselves from arguing? Now their marriage was endangered. Oswald had said he didn't want to divorce Ed, but he could change his mind. He had clearly stated he was tired of the same patterns playing over and over again. That one night wasn't worth breaking his relationship with Oswald. But they couldn't escape it, unless Ed did something even dumber.

In the morning Oswald was greeted by the view of Ed with suitcases.

''Edward, what are you doing?!'' Oswald shrieked.

''Goodbye, Oswald,'' Ed's voice was breaking.

''What?'' Oswald choked breathless. ''Where are going? Wait! Don't you dare! Do you hear me, you asshole? Hey, I'm talking to you!'' he screamed at his husband, but Ed ignored him. ''Go to hell, Edward Nygma!'' Oswald grabbed a vase, threw it at Ed and missed. The vase broke with loud crack and Oswald burst into tears as Ed closed the front door as he left.

_He will be back in few days_ , Oswald thought. _Sooner or later, he's always back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to Linkin Park and Grey Daze. I like to listen to some music when writing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year apart from Oswald's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I marked this as mature, but I don't know if I should. I usually mark my works as 'teen', but where the mature content starts? I mean, this one will be sometimes quite depressing.  
> Anyway, enjoy! Or not. ;)

Ed didn't come back next day. Next day soon turned into two, three, four, five, six days and finally, a week. Week turned into weeks and weeks into months. Months of loneliness and crying his eyes out into a pillow in the middle of the night. But Oswald decided not to look for Ed. It was Ed who cheated on him and then left without any explanation. It was Ed who had to come to him and apologise.

From the information Oswald had gathered it seemed that Ed was doing pretty fine on his own. If Ed's life was in danger, Oswald would come to the rescue in a heart beat, but Ed wasn't a damsel in distress. Well, usually he wasn't, but sometimes he got himself into troubles. Maybe Ed simply needed some space? Oswald thought it would be for the best to give him that space and not to reach out for him even when it seemed that Ed had messed up two or three heists. GCPD hasn't arrested him yet, no one put him in Arkham. That was good enough.

Time has passed and Oswald hasn't seen his husband since the day he left, apart from pictures in the newspapers. As far as the Penguin was concerned, they have never been even in the same building at the same time since that day. Was Ed avoiding him? Ed didn't need him any more. He didn't love him any more if he ever had loved him. The cycle was broken, they came back to being perfect strangers. From this point the was no going back, things would never be the same. Didn't Ed know how much he had hurt Oswald? He had to know it would break Oswald, but apparently he didn't care. Oswald wanted to run away from the pain, he often ran into the soothing embrace of alcohol, only to find himself deceived by the liquid. It felt good for the first few drinks, but then Oswald was crying again. People of Gotham, praise! It's your king! Populus, laudate! Ecce vester rex! Marvel at the view! Look how low he had fallen, watch him reach the bottom. No, Oswald had to keep his looks outside his manor. He had hard time stopping himself from gutting out like a fish people who spread the rumour that Oswald and Edward had divorced. They hadn't... Ed just had left with one final goodbye. That was all in that matter.

A year passed and Oswald found himself drowning his sorrows in his office in a mockery of an anniversary. A year since Ed had closed the door and never came back. How dramatically it sounded, like Ed had died on that day. Of course he hadn't, but Oswald hasn't seen him since that time and Ed stayed out of his reach. It was almost as if Ed was dead to Oswald.

''Pengy,'' Barbara chirped as she entered Oswald's office.

''What do you want?!'' Penguin snapped at her.

''Still crying over your broken heart? Oh, poor little bird,'' she cooed.

''If that's all you came here for, you can leave now.''

''Hey, the ocean is full of fish! Forget about Nygma, find yourself some new guy. Or a gal,'' she winked at him.

''I'm not attracted to women,'' Oswald rolled his eyes.

''Come on, I know,'' Barbara smirked.

''So you suggest I should have an affair? And then what? Sleep with Ed years later and have baby with him when he marries another?'' he eyed her waiting for reaction.

''It's not like it can happen to you, can it?''

''All I wanted to say is that you are hardly the right person to give me relationship advise.''

''Would you mind if I had a puff?'' Barbara took out a pack of cigarettes.

''Not at all. I think I'll join you,'' he pulled a cigarette from a drawer of his desk and lit Barbara's cigarette and then his own.

''This might interest you, Ozzie,'' she breathed out the smoke. ''Some curious ears had told me Nygma had been asking about you. More than once from what I can tell.''

''So?'' he shrugged.

''Maybe all he needs to come back to you is some kind of incentive?'' she raised her eyebrow.

''Pfft! And what else! Please! If he wants to see me, he has to come to me first. He got us into this position!''

''Do as you want, Pengy,'' Barbara pressed the butt of cigarette into ashtray. ''Don't forget there's still an option of leaving him behind. But should you decide you want to see him, here's little something for you,'' she fidgeted a piece of paper in her fingers. ''You're welcome,'' she smirked as she put it on Oswald's desk.

Oswald took it and considered it for a moment. ''Thank you,'' he nodded.

''Look how the time flies!'' Barbara theatrically looked at her watch. ''I should be going now. See you soon, alright?''

''Yeah, yeah, go now,'' Oswald dismissed her.

Oswald gazed at the address written on the paper. So that was where Ed was living now? That or Barbara toyed with him for her pleasure. Why would she hand him so easily Ed's address? If Oswald wanted he would have got it by himself. He sighed deeply and tilted his head backwards. Gosh, he missed Ed so much.

On the next day he stood in front of door of flat that was supposed to be Ed's. He rang the door bell. What was he going to tell Ed after a year? He was thinking about it for a whole night, it was better thing to do than crying. Still he wasn't sure what to say when he sees his husband. He rang once again, but the door stayed close. Maybe it was wrong place and Barbara pranked him, maybe Ed wasn't home at that moment or maybe he didn't want to see Oswald. Oswald rang again. Truth be told, he was sweating bullets. He didn't know what to expect from this encounter. Maybe he should have grabbed a bottle of wine, it was impolite to come with empty hands, but then paying Ed a visit was a gesture on its own. He was about to run his hand through his hair when the door opened and finally after a year he saw his husband again.

''Edward,'' Oswald felt his face twitch from emotions.

''Oswald,'' Ed greeted him coldly.

''Long time no see, huh?'' Penguin tried to clear the air.

''A year,'' Riddler crossed his arms.

''Yes, yes,'' Oswald nodded hastily. ''So, how are you?''

''What are doing here, Oswald?''

''Well, I... I came to visit you, obviously,'' Oswald looked around confused.

''What for?'' Ed frowned.

''Ummm... yeah, may I come inside so we can talk?''

''No, you may not,'' Ed pressed his lips into thin line.

Oswald was taken aback by Ed's coldness. Sure, he shouldn't have got his hopes up, but Ed should show him some, even the tiniest level of gratitude. Didn't Ed see Oswald was offering him an olive branch?

''How do you know where am I living? Where you spying on me again?'' Ed accused.

''No! Barbara told me!''Oswald blurted out in anger.

''Gee, I wonder what she got for that piece of information,'' Ed scoffed.

''Nothing! She got nothing! She asked for nothing!'' Oswald yelled.

''And you just decided to drop by and say hello?'' Riddler mocked him.

''I don't know, maybe I came for answers?!'' Oswald stomped. ''You left and never came back! Do you know how did I feel back then?!''

''Well, you've never looked for me,'' Ed shrugged.

''Oh, yeah, because I have to look for my cheating husband who left me alone without any explanation!''

''That's it, Oswald. Get out,'' Ed said while closing the door.

''Wait!'' Oswald grabbed the knob and pulled the door.

''Get out!'' Ed pushed the door so rapidly that Oswald fell.

''What the hell is wrong with you?!'' Penguin screeched getting up from the ground.

Ed opened the door again, walked out and pushed Oswald. ''Get out! Now! I don't want to see you!''

''Fuck you too!'' Oswald spat and walked away. On his way he heard the door close with loud thud. He felt tears gather in his eyes. The whole thing went much worse than he had anticipated. Barbara duped him. She had known for sure Ed didn't want to meet Oswald. That's what she got for that piece of paper with an address scrabbled on it.

''Incentive my ass,'' Oswald muttered. _Stupid Barbara_ , he thought. _Stupid Ed. To hell with them._

As soon as he came back home, he grabbed a bottle of whisky and downed it in just few gulps. Then threw it into the fire, glass broke with loud crack and leftovers of alcohol fed the fire.

''Olga!'' he called.

''Da?'' the housemaid came.

''Take tomorrow a day off,'' he offered with a wry smile.

''Spasiba.''

''Yeah, whatever,'' he waved his hand. ''You may go now.''

Olga left muttering something, probably in Russian, but Oswald didn't care. When he was sure he was the only person in the whole building, he went to his bedroom and cried curled in his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote ''spasiba' instead of ''spasibo'', because I think it's how you pronounce that. In Russian unaccented 'o' is read as 'a'. If I got that wrong, please correct me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year apart from Ed's POV.

Ed left the manor, put his suitcases into the trunk of his car, got in. He sat there and waited. Waited for something to happen. For Oswald running after him cursing him, trying to stop him from leaving or throwing him out and saying he wasn't welcomed there any more. But nothing came, nothing happened. Ed started the car and drove away. He would be back someday, he didn't know when, he hoped to come back sooner than later. It pained him to leave, but he had to do this. He needed to give Oswald space. Oswald said he was tired of constant fighting for everything and he had every right to be. Ed also needed space and time to think why things had taken the route they had. And then he would come back, probably apologise and they would be happy again.

Ed had anticipated Oswald would try to reach out for him, look for him or at very least be worried about him. But from the information Ed had gathered Oswald seemed to be fine on his own.

Time passed and Penguin has never called him. Sure Ed had changed his phone number, but that wasn't a problem for Oswald. If he wanted to he would have got Ed's phone number. Oswald hadn't even asked for him after Ed had failed three heist in a row when he had desperately needed money. Maybe Oswald didn't care any more? Maybe this was one final betrayal too much for Oswald and he decided to completely give up on their marriage. Not only marriage, their whole acquitance. He acted as if he had forgotten about Ed's existence. Maybe Oswald went with old 'an eye for an eye' and got himself a lover? Maybe Ed deserved this, but the sheer thought of Oswald with somebody else made his blood boil.

Ed hardly talked with anyone. Heist here, riddle there, don't get caught. Sometimes he payed a visit to Lucius Fox when loneliness was unbearable.

''You should go and meet Oswald,'' Foxy told him every time. But how Ed could do it when Oswald clearly didn't want to see him. What was he going to tell him? How to explain another betrayal and running away?

''I'm sure he doesn't want to do anything with me.''

''And I'm sure he is worried about you. You have to understand that you have to take the first step. It was you who cheated and left him,'' Lucius noted, but Ed didn't want to listen to him, because he knew Foxy was painfully right. Still, Ed couldn't do it, he was too scared of possible consequences of his actions.

A year passed. A year since he had left the manor with one last goodbye and nothing more. In hindsight he could tell it was mistake. He had thought he it was the right thing to do, but if he could turn back the time, he would have never left. Well, if he could do it, he would have never cheated on Oswald. He had never met that girl after that fateful night and he didn't want to. He didn't care about her. He cared about Oswald and missed him dearly. Only a tiny spark of hope that Oswald still loved him kept him going.

_You have to use me many times to make me. What am I?_ His inner self asked.

''A letter,'' Ed answered. ''Should I write Oswald a letter?'' he wondered.

On the next day there was a ring at his door, which was odd. Postman usually came on Mondays and no one has ever payed him a visit, not even Lucius. Maybe it was just a mistake. But then there was another one. Ed walked towards the door and waited for a second. After the third ring Ed opened the door. Whoever decided to pay him a visit seemed to be quite determined. That whoever turned to be none other than Oswald himself. Ed was dumbfounded. After a year Oswald there? Why did he came? Did he came to talk about divorce? Oh, God, no! They cannot do this!

''Edward,'' Oswald narrowed his eyes.

''Oswald,'' Ed spoke still in shock.

''Long time no see, huh?'' Oswald said too casually for this meeting. He was up to something.

''A year,'' Ed reminded.

''Yes, yes,'' Oswald nodded nervously. ''So, how are you?''

''What are you doing here, Oswald?'' Ed couldn't quite figure out this puzzle.

''Well, I... I came to visit you, obviously,'' Oswald looked around like he was looking for a way out.

''What for?'' Ed had to find out, he has never left any puzzle unsolved.

''Ummm... yeah, may I come inside so we can talk?'' Oswald appeared to be startled by Ed's question.

''No, you may not,'' Ed felt like under attack and decided to strike back. ''How do you know where am I living? Where you spying on me again?''

''No! Barbara told me!''

Huh, Barbara, so that was how the things were. Oswald asked her to get him Ed's address. Apparently Oswald didn't bother to check on Ed for a whole year. Instead he came on the day after the anniversary of Ed leaving him behind. _For sure he came to ask for a divorce_ , Ed thought and felt his chest clenching.

''Gee, I wonder what she got for that piece of information,'' Ed scoffed to chase away the tears.

''Nothing! She got nothing! She asked for nothing!'' Oswald yelled. And Ed knew the best that mad Oswald was bad Oswald.

''And you just decided to drop by and say hello?'' Ed felt bitter that Oswald has never came before, has never called him and now was yelling at him.

''I don't know, maybe I came for answers?!'' Oswald stomped. ''You left and never came back! Do you know how did I feel back then?!''

Oh, these questions. There was no good answer to these questions. There never would be one.

'Well, you've never looked for me,'' Ed voiced his regret.

''Oh, yeah, because I have to look for my cheating husband who left me alone without any explanation!'' Oswald was almost repeating Foxy's words.

Ed didn't have anything to tell Oswald about that, so he panicked and played it like a coward. ''That's it, Oswald. Get out,'' he started to close the door.

''Wait!'' Oswald pulled the door.

''Get out!'' Edward didn't want to let go of the shield between him and his furious husband, so he pushed the door with his full strenght. He heard Oswald falling.

''What the hell is wrong with you?!'' Oswald screeched.

Ed opened the door and walked out. In a sudden flood of anger he pushed Oswald. ''Get out! Now! I don't want to see you!''

Ed quickly went back to his flat and closed the door. Then he took several deep breaths leaning against the door. What has got into him? He shouldn't have pushed Oswald like that. If Oswald had any second thought about divorcing him, he surely had none by that time. He opened the door and looked around the corridor, but Oswald was gone. Ed closed the door again and curled on the floor sobbing and tugging his hair. That certainly wasn't how he imaginated his meeting with Oswald would go.

''You idiot! You've just ruined everything again!'' he yelled at himself. ''You dumb stupid fuck!'' Ed got up and rushed to the bathroom and started thrashing around. He took mirror into his hands and broke in on the toilet. ''You stupid fucking idiot!'' Ed cried. ''You imbecile! Cretin!''


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. I mean, really, this chapter can trigger some.

Ed felt like a shadow of himself for the rest of the day. If he had invited Oswald to his flat, perhaps they would be on some civil level by that time. But, no, of course Edward Nygma, self-proclaimed genius, had to chicken out. Even the worst argument would have had better results if he had let Oswald in, Ed was sure of that. He was so embarrassed of his actions, he didn't know what to do. He felt so powerless as if he has been sabotaging himself all this time. Maybe he has. Everything he was doing sooner or later turned out to make things even worse. Why couldn't he had just greeted Oswald warmly, invited him or maybe even hugged him if Oswald would have let him? Offer him something to drink, something to eat, talk about the weather? He really hated himself in moments like these.

He spent another sleepless night thrashing around in his bed. He almost got tangled up in his comforters. He also has almost fallen out of the bed three times and once he fell. After that Ed decided that lying on the floor wasn't that bad after all, at least he wouldn't fall from it. He stared at the ceiling. This whole ordeal had come to an end. He had hurt both Oswald and himself. And for what? He has been avoiding Oswald, because he was scared of them becoming enemies once again. Maybe Oswald was avoiding him for the very same reasons? What if Oswald had come to talk and try to mend their relationship? At this thought Ed wanted to sink under ground. All that time he had wanted to see Oswald, but when Oswald came to him Ed's brain decided to malfunction out of sudden. What had he been supposed to say? There was no way of explaining this series of bad decisions. Sure, he could and probably should have started with apologising to Oswald for his behaviour, but apologies tended to make Oswald even more furious.

This time Edward Nygma was going to fix his mistakes. He made very strong resolution about that. He had never been one for New Year's or any other part of year resolutions, but Ed was determined to finish what he had started. Oswald and Foxy were right – it was up to Ed to start the healing process.

The next morning Ed put on his best clothes. He had to trust his hair to his muscle memory as he had broken every mirror that he had found in his flat. It happened often to his mirrors. If breaking a mirror meant seven years of bad luck, Ed had already signed himself up for hundreds if not thousands years of misery. That would explain why Ed had the magic gift of turning into shit everything that he had touched. But Ed wasn't superstitious. He didn't believe in this kind of things. He believed in fate, however. Fate brought them together and nothing could ever part them, not even death if fate still kept them bound. He knew Oswald shared his beliefs concerning the role of fate in their lives. They had changed their wedding oath to 'till fate do us part' for that reason. Ed had made up his mind – he was going to pay Oswald a visit and apologise for the past year. It was the right time – Oswald was usually up at this time, but still in the manor, enjoying his morning routine before taking care of his business. And frankly, Ed prefered meeting Oswald in private space rather than in public. He smoothed his jacket and ran his hand through his hair. He was ready as much as he could be. It was now or never. He could not keep running away any longer.

Ed sighed at the sight of the mansion. He always came back there, it was only a matter of time. He rang the bell at the gate, but no one answered, so Ed climbed through the fence. Of course the fence was secured, but it was Ed's design, so he knew how to walk past safely. Next stop was the door of the house. He rang the door bell, but once again there was no response.

''Oswald! Hey, it's me! Ed!'' Ed called, but no one answered. ''Oswald, I want to talk!''

He put hand into his pocket and drew out a bunch of keys. He should have used skeleton key, but was curious if Oswald had changed the lock. He put the front door's key into the lock and it fit. He turned it around and pressed the knob and the door opened. Weird thing that Oswald hadn't changed the lock.

''Oswald!'' Ed called. ''Hello? I came to talk!''

The whole place was weirdly quiet. With the amount of noise he generated Olga was sure to find him. That Russian woman had never liked him and probably has liked him even less ever since he had left. But Ed was ready for any mixture of Russian and English Olga was going to yell at him. He wouldn't understand even the half of it, but would deserve it.

''Oswald? Hello? Are you at home?'' Maybe Oswald had left for his office earlier?

Ed looked around living room and dining room, but having found them completely abandoned, he went upstairs.

''Oswald? Hey, I came to talk! Look, I'm sorry for yesterday!''

Ed walked down the corridor and carefully looked around. There! He noticed the line of light coming from bathroom's door. So Oswald was still at home! He knocked on the bathroom door.

''Hey, Oswald, I know I upset you yesterday and you are mad at me. I'm sorry for yesterday and for everything, but could you please come out, so we can talk?'' Ed waited for some response, but everything was quiet. ''Please, Oswald, just say something,'' he begged. ''Oswald?'' he knocked once again. He sighed irritated. He grabbed the bathroom's door lock and turned it. It was so worn out that it wasn't difficult to open the door from the outside. Oswald and Edward had done it quite often in the past. Ed opened the door and walked in. And in a fracture of second his heartbeat increased rapidly.

''Oswald! Oh my God!'' he rushed to the bathtub. Oswald lay completely immersed in the water. Ed grabbed him quickly by his shoulders to get his head out of the water. ''Oswald!'' he shook him, but Oswald was unresponsive. His body was almost liquid in his arms. Ed put him on the floor and put his head over Oswald's mouth. Oswald wasn't breathing.

''Shit!'' Ed began hyperventilating. ''Hold on!'' he tilted Oswald's head backwards, pinched his nose and breathed four times into his mouth. Again he listened to Oswald's breathing, but he heard none. He checked Oswald's pulse, but he didn't feel anything. ''Oh my, oh my, Ozzie, please,'' he started pressing Oswald's chest. ''Oswald, come on!'' Ed cried. ''Oswald, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!'' he breathed twice into Oswald's mouth. ''It's my fault, it's all my fault,'' tears rolled down Ed's cheeks. ''One, two, three,'' Ed counted as he pressed. ''Look, I didn't want for this to happen. Ten, eleven. Oswald! Come on, you need to breathe! Seventeen, you can't do this! Twenty. I'm not worth it! I'm not worth your life. Twenty-nine, thirthy,'' Ed checked for any signs of life, but there was no breath or hearbeat. He breathed twice into Oswald's mouth and again started pressing his chest. How long had Oswald been under water? It took only four minutes for brain cells to start dying. It could be too late. Ed's last words to Oswald would be _''Get out, I don't want to see you''_ and Ed could not bear that possibility. ''Come on, darling, you can't do this! I didn't mean to...'' Ed sniffed while still pressing. ''I love you, Oswald. Please,'' he breathed twice into Oswald's mouth. ''Love, please,'' he stared pressing once again, he was determined not to let Oswald die. ''You did this, didn't you? You did this to yourself! It's my fault, I pushed you to this decision. You have reasons to live, don't take your life away!'' He breathed in twice once again and moved back to pressing his chest. ''Oswald, come on! You can't do this, you survived worse things.'' Body under his hands shook, Oswald started coughing. ''It's alright now, Oswald,'' Ed rolled Oswald's body to recovery position, so his husband could get rid of water from his lungs. ''It's alright,'' he grabbed a robe he found on a hook and wrapped it around Oswald. Ed watched water drain from Oswald's mouth and checked on his breathing every few seconds. ''Oswald, I'm sorry,'' he petted Penguin's hair. His head hurt from the stress. It was so close! If he hadn't come, Oswald would've been dead. Hell, if he had come minutes later, Oswald would have been dead. What especially concerned Ed was the fact that most likely it was Oswald who tried to kill himself. The was slim chance that one of Oswald's enemies had sent an assassin to simulate a suicide, but considering that surviving drowning was a matter of minutes, the assassin would still had been in the mansion when Ed had entered it. The assassin could sneaked out when Ed had been busy saving Oswald's life, but then why he hadn't got rid of Ed? And where the hell was Olga?

''Hey, Oswald?'' Ed carefully shook Oswald's shoulder, but smaller man was still unconscious.

When Ed decided that Oswald was safe and there was no more water in his lungs, he moved him to their, well, Oswald's bedroom. He dressed Oswald into his pajamas and tucked him in the bed, checking on his breathing all the time. Oswald's eyelids slightly fluttered and from his mouth escaped a whimper.

''Oswald?'' Ed asked.

''Ed?'' Oswald opened up his eyes and looked at his husband confused. ''What are you doing here?''

''You nearly drowned! I found you in the bathtub and you nearly drowned!'' Ed began rambling. ''If I hadn't come, you'd be dead!''

''Well, thank you for saving my life,'' Oswald coughed. ''But that doesn't answer my question,'' he eyed Ed.

Ed looked at his feet ashamed. ''I came here to apologise for my yesterday's behaviour. I didn't want to chase you out. I didn't expect to see you and I panicked. I'm sorry.''

''I guess I got a little bit carried away yesterday too,'' Oswald said calmly.

''No,'' Ed shook his head. ''Don't make it look like yesterday's events were also your fault. It's all on me.''

''If you say so, I'm not gonna argue with you,'' Oswald smirked mischievously. ''Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for saving my life, but I can't help but wonder if you made of walking into people's bathrooms a habit of yours?''

''No,'' Ed chuckled, but then he was serious again. ''How are you, Oswald? Do you have any troubles breathing?''

''I'm alright, thanks.''

''That's good. Try getting some rest, okie dokie?'' Ed put his hand on Oswald's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

''Ok,'' Oswald put his hand on top of Edward's. Then he smiled shyly. ''Thank you, Ed, really.''

''Don't speak a word of it,'' Ed caressed Oswald's cheek and Oswald made no protests. Moreover, he looked rather pleased. ''Oswald, who did this to you?'' Ed couldn't stop himself from asking Oswald, it was stronger than him. He probably shouldn't have, but he had to, even if he knew the answer. Asking that question was easier than asking the other, the straightforward one – did you do this?

''Do you really care?'' Oswald was unwilling to give Ed the answer.

''Of course I do! I know I have troubles showing my feelings, but I care about your well-being.''

''I'll have you know you have nothing to worry about,'' Oswald decided to change the subject. ''Do you wanna stay a little bit longer?'' he offered. He felt oh so hopeful. Against all odds Ed had come to his rescue, even if it seemed impossible. He wasn't supposed to be there. Once again fate had different plans for them. Fate always brought them back together even if they fought it. Who Oswald was to oppose their fate? Their fate knew what was the best for them. Oswald was sure it was his mother's doing, she was looking after him from the other side. She would not let him meet her again before his time.

''I don't want to be a burden to you,'' Ed said morosely.

''Oh, come on!'' Oswald waved his hand. ''I'm just happy to see you again.''

''Ok, then,'' edges of Ed's lips went up. ''Anyway, I should probably stay a little bit longer to make sure you're fine.''

Oswald huffed. ''I'm fine, Ed.''

''I hope so, but better safe than sorry.''

''Right,'' Oswald nodded.

''Oh, one more thing,'' Ed looked like he recalled something suddenly.

''Yes?'' Oswald raised an eyebrow.

''Where's Olga?''

''Oh, that,'' Oswald waved dismissively. ''I gave her a day off.''

''Oh,'' that was all Ed could say. So Oswald planned the whole thing carefully, making sure there would be no one in the mansion at that time. His chest felt heavier. ''If you're hungry, I can fix you something,'' he suggested to focus his mind on something else.

''What about you?''

''What about me?'' Ed narrowed his eyes not understanding what Oswald was talking about.

''Aren't you hungry? I mean, look at you! You're just skin and bones!''

Oswald was worrying about him, how sweet. ''I always was skinny,'' Ed countered.

''But not that skinny!'' Oswald shrieked. ''I'm not eating unless you're eating,'' he protested.

''Alright, then. I can cook for both of us,'' Ed gave up. ''So, are you hungry or not?''

''Well, I could have some meal,'' Oswald shrugged.

''Consider it done,'' Ed smiled. ''I'll be in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything or you feel worse, okie dokie?''

''Sure,'' Oswald agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally talk about their feelings! It took them only a year. xD


	5. Chapter 5

Ed headed for the kitchen. It was still quite early so he opted for some light dish. He still couldn't quite wrap his head around the events of past hour. Well, he wasn't even sure if it was an hour, half an hour or maybe few hours. Oswald was the strongest person he had ever known. Every time he had been thrown off the throne, Oswald had come back stronger and more determined. Sure, he was emotional and often nostalgic if not melancholic especially when drunk. Ed took frying pan and heated butter on it. The only time he had seen Oswald without the will to live, without the fire in his eyes and readiness to fight, had been the time at his apartment with fresh wound left in Oswald's heart by his mother untimely demise, Ed pondered. Had he pushed Oswald that far? Stripped him of his will to live and left only emptiness and the feeling of lack of purpose? Ed poured eggs into the frying pan. But when Ed had talked with Oswald, he had looked somewhat peaceful, maybe even pleased. Suddenly fear found its nest in Ed's chest. What if Oswald hurt himself again, when Ed left his bedroom? He spared eggs one more look to make sure they weren't burning and rushed to Oswald's bedroom.

Edward running into his room startled Oswald. He stared at his husband. ''Is it ready? Wow, you're quick!'' sly smirk appeared on his face.

''What? No,'' Ed was taken by surprise, but quickly regained his composure. ''I just wanted to check on you.''

Oswald sighed. ''Really, Ed, you have nothing to worry about. I'm alright,'' he assured.

''That's good, that's good,'' Ed shifted awkwardly. ''I should go back to the kitchen. Eggs are going to burn.''

''Yes, it fairly likely,'' Oswald nodded.

''Well, if you need anything you know where to find me,'' Ed scratched the back of his head.

''Of course,'' Oswald said softly.

''Ok,'' Ed wanted for this conversation to last longer, even if only a second.

''Ok,'' Oswald repeated not quite sure what he wanted.

''I'll be back when the omelette is ready. If there's anything...'' Ed said insecurely.

''I'll call you, don't worry,'' Oswald gave him shy smile and it looked genuine. ''Go or it'll burn.''

''Ok.''

''Ok.''

''Right,'' Ed nodded and left Oswald's room.

Oswald stared puzzled at the door. What was that? Out of all the conversations they shared, this one was one of the most bizzare ones. And there they were again, tiptoeing around each other. They needn't have, they were married, for Pete's sake! Ed had stormed into his room like there had been fire in the mansion. And who knew, maybe there had been? Maybe Ed had burnt that omelette. Ed said he came to check on Oswald, but Ed had left his room for maybe five minutes at best. What could have happened in that time? Still, he found in flattering to see Ed worry about him. He shouldn't have, but it was stronger than him. It proved Oswald wrong, much to his delight. It proved that Ed still cared. However, there was one thing that kept him restless, that fear in Edward's eyes. Oswald knew it, he had seen it before when that grenade had damaged his eye. It was fear for Oswald's life mixed with guilt. Edward was genuinely scared of losing him and was blaming himself for what had happened in the bathroom, Oswald concluded. And even if Oswald had done it driven by emotions that had emerged after visiting Ed, he didn't blame Ed for it and he didn't want Ed to blame himself. It had been Oswald's decision and doing and nobody's else. He wanted Edward to know that. The problem was, he couldn't bring himself to confess it. He didn't even have to try to know he wouldn't be able to say it. The words 'I've done it' would just get stuck in his throat. He was angry at himself for being selfish once again. It hadn't even crossed his mind that Ed would be hurt, would mourn him. Ed regreted his decisions, he had come to apologise and what he had found instead? His husband drowning himself in a bathtub. It wasn't fair. Ed had been the reason for their parting this time, but he deserved better. Oswald firmly promised himself to never do something like that. One day he will make that promise to Ed, but promising himself had to be enough for now. He had to live even if only for Ed, he couldn't leave him with guilt over something he hadn't done. Edward had troubles with copying with grief. How would he be doing if Oswald was gone? Oswald dreaded to think about that. How stupid, careless he had been!

His brooding was interrupted by Edward entering his room once more, this time with two plates in his hands. And out of habit, Oswald found himself smiling. Edward seemed to be happy too.

''I hope it didn't take me too long?'' Ed handed him plate and then fork and knife.

''Thanks,'' Oswald nodded. ''Oh, no, I think were pretty quick.''

''So?'' Ed watched him, clearly waiting for something to happen.

''So what?'' Oswald asked chewing omelette.

''How is it?'' Ed pointed at Oswald's plate.

''It's delicious!'' Oswald assured with a warm smile. ''I wouldn't expect anything less of you.''

''I'm glad you like it,'' Ed's face shined with happiness.

''Like it? Gosh, when was the last time I ate an omelette?'' Oswald munched making loud noises of satisfaction. Then he eyed taller man. ''Ed, why aren't you eating? I told you I wasn't eating if you weren't,'' he put his plate aside.

''Huh?'' Ed asked as if he had just awaken, too busy looking at his husband. ''I'm eating!'' he protested.

''It doesn't seem like you were to me,'' Oswald crossed his arms. ''Eat before it gets cold.''

''Yes, ma'am,'' Ed smirked as he put fork into his mouth.

Oswald went on eating when Ed started. He also 'accidentally' bumped Ed's calf with his. Ed 'accidentally' bumped back. Oswald bit his lip to hide smile growing on his face, not that he was doing great job of hiding it. He knew he didn't when he noticed Ed biting his lip in similar manner. The rest of their first meal eaten together in over a year was quiet. Ed took their plates when they finished eating and took them to the kitchen. He returned after cleaning up.

''So, how have you been?'' Oswald finally asked.

''Pretty good,'' Ed shrugged.

''That's good to hear,'' Oswald said, but he couldn't fully believe Ed, when he looked at him. He was so skinny, for sure he was undernourished. Ed had the bad habit of not eating for the whole day when he was busy and he was busy almost all the time. He needed somebody to put a dish right under his nose. The bags under Ed's eyes couldn't escape his attention, either. Had he spent nights crying into his pillow like Oswald had?

''But I'd been better,'' smile fell from Ed's lips. ''What about you?'' Ed looked Oswald in the face. He hasn't put his make up yet, so Ed could easily see bags under his eyes. How many sleepless nights had Oswald spent because of him? Oswald looked so tired. Had Ed drained out his life forces?

''Oh, I'm fine, thanks for asking. Do you know what time it is?'' Oswald looked around.

''I don't, but I can check if you'd like me to,'' Ed offered. ''Why?''

''I should probably be getting ready for my office.''

''No way! You're taking a day off! I told you that you had to rest, didn't I? In the fact, you should stay at home tomorrow as well,'' Ed grabbed Oswald's hand.

''Calm down, Ed. I received the message,'' he patted Nygma's shoulder. ''Well, if I'm staying at home, would you be a dear and fix me a drink?''

''Are you going to drink this early, really, Oswald?'' Ed sighed disappointed.

''Why not?'' Oswald shrugged.

''Tell me, how much have you been drinking recently?'' Ed knew Oswald had a bad habit of drinking to tame his feelings. It never worked, but apparently made Oswald feel better.

''Why do you care?!'' Oswald felt attacked.

''Because I care about you! Oswald, it's not healthy and you know that.''

''Well, starving yourself to death is not healthy either, is it?'' Oswald dared. To that comment Ed curled as if he was trying to become invisible. ''Are your projects more important than your well-being? When you get fixated on something, you forget about the whole world! Not only eating is problem here! Are you even sleeping at all?''

''And what about you? Are you sleeping, Oswald?'' Ed frowned.

Oswald hid his face in his palms and sighed. ''No, I've had insomnia for some time now. Are you happy now?''

''No,'' Ed nervously bit his lip. ''I'd like to see you sound and... well, uh.''

''I know,'' Oswald looked at him. ''You don't like a good example of heathy man, either.''

''I guess you're right,'' Ed chuckled bitterly. ''So... what do we do now?''

''I guess we could take a nap,'' Oswald smirked.

''We could.''

''Alright, then. I'm taking a nap,'' Oswald pulled covers over himself. ''What about you?''

''I can watch over you, when you're asleep,'' Ed offered.

''Don't be ridiculous,'' Oswald snorted.

''I'd like to stay here a little bit longer if you don't mind,'' Ed confessed a bit embarrassed.

''Stay here if you want to, I don't mind.''

''You know, I'm not going to sleep here,'' Ed looked at his feet.

''Why?'' Oswald sounded disappointed.

''I don't want to make things more awkward than they already are.''

''You'd have to try really hard to make them more awkward,'' Oswald playfully kicked Ed. ''Take a nap,'' his words sounded like an order.

Ed grinned feeling bold. He plopped himself on the bed next to Oswald.

''Edward! What are you doing?!'' Oswald screeched scandalised.

''Taking a nap,'' grin didn't leave his face. ''Sleep tight.''

Oswald scoffed and crossed his arms.

When he had opened up his eyes, the Sun was setting. ''Ed?'' his voice was hoarse.

''Hmph?''

''What time it is?'' Oswald turned around to see his husband lying next to him. What a marvelous view.

Ed groaned and took his cell phone. ''Six PM,'' Ed sat up. ''How was your nap?''

''Decent. How was yours?''

''Pretty fine, I guess,'' Ed looked at his cell once again and was thinking really hard about something. ''Oswald?''

''Yeah?''

''I changed my phone number.''

''I know, Eddie,'' Oswald yawned. ''I've tried to call you, but they said the number was non-existent.''

''Sorry about that,'' Ed ducked. ''I can give you my new one.''

''Yes, write it in my cell phone,'' Oswald waved his hand, still too sleepy to get up.

Ed reluctantly got up and grabbed Oswald phone. After a while spent on pushing buttons he said he wrote down his number.

''I should get going,'' Ed straightened his suit.

''You can stay a bit longer if you want to.''

''I'm not exactly looking forward meeting Olga,'' Ed chuckled stiffly.

''She's not coming until tomorrow, Ed,'' Oswald finally sat up.

''Still, I think I should be going. But, Oswald, when can we see each other again?''

''Hmm,'' Oswald considered his words for a moment. ''Do you want to?''

''Of course!'' Ed was quick to reassure him. ''Unless you don't want to.''

''I'd be looking forward to seeing you,'' Oswald smiled.

''Next Friday, maybe?''

''Next Friday, seven PM,'' Oswald suggested.

''Sounds good for me. Where?''

''I'd prefer in some private setting.''

''Exactly my thoughts!'' Ed smiled. ''Maybe at my place, so I can make it up to you for yesterday?''

''Uh, okay,'' Oswald nodded uncertain.

''So next Friday, seven PM at my flat?''

''Right.''

''Alright, then. Take care of yourself, Oswald.''

''You too, Ed. You need to eat more,'' Oswald eyed him.

''And you need to cut on drinking,'' Ed put his hand on his waist. ''Let's make a deal. I'll eat more and you'll drink less.''

''No, you'll eat five square meals like every Goddamn person should!'' Oswald crossed his arms.

''Ok, but it's only fair if you are not having any alcoholic drinks,'' Ed grinned. He knew he had upper hand.

But Oswald only narrowed his eyes. He liked good competition. ''For how long?''

''Till next Friday, seven PM. Call it trust exercise.''

''Trust exercise?'' Oswald burst with laughter.

''Yes. We will try to keep our word without knowing if the other breaks his word.''

''Deal,'' Oswald agreed.

''It was nice seeing you, Oswald,'' Ed locked Penguin in an unexpected embrace.

''Likewise,'' Oswald squeezed him tighter.

''I missed you,'' Ed whispered.

''I missed you too,'' Oswald let go.

Ed sighed deeply, he felt light-headed. ''See you next Friday.''

''Next Friday it is,'' Oswald wore matching smile.

Ed turned once more before leaving Oswald's bedroom and Oswald fell back on his bed. Couldn't next Friday come sooner? Like, for example in five minutes? He reached for his cell phone and checked his contacts. ''Second Enigma,'' he laughed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the meeting at the mansion.

''Somebody's in exceptionally good mood, huh?'' Barbara teased.

''You're not talking about me, are you?'' Oswald kept straight face.

''You've seen him, didn't you?'' she crossed her legs.

''I don't know what are you implying, Barbara,''' he raised his eyebrow.

''Why do you have to make everything so difficult, Ozzie?'' Barbara scoffed. ''I'm just asking if you saw that idiot husband of yours.''

Oswald sighed. He was sensing incoming headache Barbara was giving him. ''That's none of your business.''

''Well, I wouldn't be so sure of it,'' she narrowed her eyes mischievously. ''Don't forget who gave you his address, Pengy.''

''That doesn't give you the right to violate my privacy!'' Oswald hit his desk.

''I'm not violating anybody's privacy, Oswald. I'm merely asking if my intel was of any use.''

Oswald gave his interlocutor resigned look and shook his head. ''I can't win with you, can I?''

''You can't,'' she smirked. ''So? How was your meeting?''

''I haven't even told you if I've seen him!''

''But I know you have, I can see it on your face. And it looks that you had some good time,'' she winked.

Oswald rolled his eyes. They had had some good time, but it hadn't been what Barbara thought it had. ''If you know that much, why would you bother to ask me?''

''I wanted to hear it from you,'' she checked her nails. ''And since you confirmed my suspicions, we should celebrate it! In no time you'll have your man back. If you want to, of course. You can still leave him behind,'' she smiled.

''Very funny, Barbara,'' he crossed his arms.

''So, what are we drinking, Ozzie? It's your celebration, you drinks are on the house. Your house,'' she winked.

''Feel free to top yourself,'' he waved his hand.

''You're not drinking? That's so unlike you,'' her eyes widened in surprise, but only for a second.

''Yes, I'm not drinking,'' Oswald said, but hearing no response from Barbara he felt he should explain it. ''I promised Ed to cut on my drinking.''

''Oh, interesting. What did you get in exchange?'' her ears were ready for some new gossips.

''Ed promised me to eat more. You should be glad you haven't seen him,'' he scoffed. ''His working hard on starving himself to death.''

''Aw, how nice of you to worry about your cheating husband,'' she teased. ''Nygma is a big boy, he can take care of himself.''

''I doubt it, sometimes he's just hopeless. Which responsible adult eats scraps and doesn't sleep for days?!'' Oswald lost his temper. ''And he calls himself the smartest man in Gotham. Please!'' he huffed.

''Well, it's been a year and he still hasn't starved himself,'' Barbara shrugged.

''Just you wait,'' Oswald tilted his head.

''Sooo... you're not drinking?''

''I'm not,'' Oswald took a look at papers on his desk.

''Alrighty,'' Barbara took a glass and filled it with one of Oswald's bourbons, no doubt very expensive.

Suddenly Oswald's cell phone rang. He looked at the screen and sighed. ''Speak of the devil.''

''Oh, Nygma calls?'' Barbara turned quickly to face Penguin. The whole situation piqued her interest. ''Don't tell him I'm here,'' she sipped.

Oswald pushed green button. ''Ed, it's great to hear from you!'' he said joyfully and pleased smile appeared on his face.

''I had some free time, so I decided to call you,'' Edward sounded glad.

''Are you sure? I mean, you rarely call at this hour as far as I know you. Everything's OK? You can tell me if there's something wrong, you know,'' Oswald assured.

Barbara snorted, trying to tame her laughter and failing miserably. ''Don't mind me,'' she mouthed and waved her hand, telling Oswald to go on. He sighed trying to ignore her and her antics.

''Everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you,'' Ed said.

''Really, Eddie?'' Oswald grinned. ''You haven't called for a year and now you call me, even though we've seen each other yesterday.''

Barbara was giving him thumbs up, so he moved his chair to avoid looking at her. He could tell her to go away, but he didn't want Ed to know she was there.

''I'm sorry about that Oswald. I regret it and... I-I'll make it up to you,'' Ed's voice trembled.

''Let's not talk about that, alright? You know, Ed, I have a nagging suspicion you called me to check if I'm keeping my part of our deal,'' Oswald dared.

''Of course I'm not! How can you suggest that!'' Ed sounded offended. ''It's a trust exercise, remember?''

In the background Barbara snorted again.

''What's that noise? Is everything OK?'' Ed asked concerned.

''Oh, don't pay any attention to that,'' Oswald waved his hand in his usual manner, even though Ed couldn't see the gesture. ''You know, office work.''

''You're not at home?''

''I've just said I was in my office,'' Oswald confirmed calmly.

''Oswald, I told you you should stay at home today!'' Ed yelled.

''Ed,'' Oswald started, but Ed interrupted him.

''You don't care about your health at all! Null! Nothing!'' Ed was agitated.

''Ed, listen...''

''I'm worried about you! Why don't you believe me?''

''Eddie, please,'' Oswals sighed. ''Not now, I'm quite busy.''

''Do I really need to remind you what happened yesterday?'' Edward hissed.

''What happened yesterday? Nothing out of ordinary,'' Oswald shrugged.

''You nearly drowned!''

''Keep your voice down!'' Oswald snapped. ''I'm alright now, thank you for your concern,'' he pinched the bridge of his nose. ''Seriously Ed, don't worry about it that much. I've been stabbed, shot and beaten, but I'm still standing, right?''

''That doesn't mean you should ignore it! Won't you at least tell me who did that?''

''Is it that important?'' Oswald was still reluctant to telling Ed.

''It is, Oswald. It is for me,'' Ed swallowed.

''This issue has been taken care of, Ed. It's not going to happen again,'' there, Oswald said it. He made his promise to Ed.

''How can you be so sure of it?''

''You've talked about trust, so please, trust me,'' Oswald begged.

''Ok.''

''Do you trust me?'' Oswald asked.

''Yes,'' Ed said morosely.

''Really, Ed, don't think about that. Ask people some riddles, it will make you feel better,'' Oswald suggested. ''I'm sorry, Ed, but I have work to do. I'll call you back later.''

''I'll be waiting,'' Ed sounded a bit calmer.

''Ok, I'll hear from you later. Bye,'' Oswald hung up.

''It seems to me that yesterday's meeting was much more interesting than you presented it, Ozzie,'' Barbara chirped.

''Meaning?'' Oswald pretended to be amused by Barbara's curosity.

''You know,'' she circled with her hand, her movement being very elegant. ''Your dear husband calls you, clearly concerned about you and you assure him that everything is absolutely peachy, mention getting shot and tell him that what happened yesterday is nothing to worry about. How you said it?'' she pretended to be pensive. ''Oh, I seem to recall! ''It's not going to happen again.'' So, what happened to agitate your riddle-man that much?'' she rested her chin on her hand.

''You shouldn't have heard that,'' Oswald licked his teeth.

''Maybe,'' she shrugged. ''But I have.''

''Yesterday happened nothing that concerns you, Miss Kean. Are we clear?'' Oswald said with murder glint in his eyes.

''No need to be shy, Oswald. What kind of danger did you get yourself in, stupid little bird?'' Barbara smiled dangerously. ''Was I perhaps right about Nygma needing some incentive? And that incentive happened to be your life at stake?''

''Barbara, don't have better things to do? What about real estate agency, hm?'' Oswald leant over his desk, he resembled more of a vulture than a penguin in that moment.

''I should make some calls, thank you for reminding me,'' she said with mock courtesy.

''Just leave already, will you?'' Oswald hung his head.

''Ciao, Ozzie,'' she waved with her fingers and left his office.

Oswald sighed heavily. He wondered how much from the conversation Barbara had heard. She was too cunning for his own good, but that wasn't any revelation. What game was she playing? First she had given him Ed's address, now she was asking about their relationship and suggesting Ed had saved his life. Oswald felt caged by her questions and felt like Barbara had put him in that tub the previous day, even though he knew it wasn't true. He shouldn't have made her his witness at his wedding.

* * *

Conversation with Oswald seemed to convince Ed's suspicions about reasons of events of the previous day, much to Ed's displeasure. But Ed didn't know which one possibility was worse – Oswald trying to end his life or somebody else trying to kill Oswald.

Having called Oswald and made sure he was fine – why couldn't that stubborn idiot stay at home as he had asked him to? – Ed felt like paying a visit to Lucius. He wanted to share some good news with someone and Foxy seemed to be the only right person. Of course he wasn't going to share all the data, only the essentials. Lucius didn't need to know about the bathtub. Why was it always Lucius when he wanted to talk about Oswald? Be it having murdered him (or luckily failing at it) or preparing his proposal. Maybe he felt some kind of kinship for Foxy's intellect.

''Hello, Foxy!'' Ed emerged from the shadows.

''Jesus, Edward! You can't sneak on me like that!'' Lucius dropped some electronic device he was working on. ''Especially not in Wayne Enterprises labs! One of these days somebody's gonna catch you.''

''They haven't yet. Seriously, you should tell them to improve your security system,'' Ed said with sly grin.

''I guess there is a reason for you being here?'' Lucius inspected the device with dissatisfaction. He had to work on tolerance of hitting the ground.

''Oh, there is,'' Edward purred and leant over Lucius' working table. ''I met with Oswald yesterday.''

''That's some great news!'' Lucius patted Ed's shoulder. ''How was it?''

''Better than I have imaginated,'' _But only the second part of it_ , Ed thought. ''We talked and ate together in bed,'' he gestured for Lucius to come closer and whispered in his ear as if he was sharing a secret. ''We even slept in the same bed.''

''Congratulations, Ed! See, it wasn't that hard, was it, now? To be honest, I thought you'd have to try harder. You know, your husband isn't exactly famous for his patience or forgiveness. It seems that Oswald was waiting for your move all this time.''

Ed's grin only grew wider. _Oh, you don't know him. He can be very forgiving_ , he thought. ''I also called him today and he told me he would call me. I also invited him to my place,'' it looked like Ed was about to explote from excitement.

''A date night?'' Lucius teased.

''Maybe,'' Ed said smugly. ''Dinner next Friday. But it may turn into something more, who knows.''

''See? Your marriage isn't ruined. I knew you could do it,'' Foxy gave him reassuring smile.

''Thanks,'' Ed bit his lip _. Oh, congrats, Ed! You chased out our husband and most likely forced him into suicide attempt. I knew you could do it!_ his other side mocked him. Ed shook his head to get rid of invading thoughts.

''Ed, is there something wrong?'' Lucius quickly picked the change in Ed's mood.

Ed nervously bit his lip. ''I may have screwed a big time?'' he ducked his head in shame.

''It's nothing irreversible. You're calling each other, have planned next meeting. Don't tell me Oswald started dating someone else, I won't believe you,'' Lucius crossed his arms.

''I haven't asked him about that yet,'' Ed pondered for a moment. ''The thing is Oswald had-'' Ed said uneasily, but was interrupted by phone ringing. He looked around diving his hand into his pocket only to remember it wasn't his mobile's ringtone.

''My apologies, it's mine,'' Lucius said hastily and pressed the red button.

''Weren't you going to pick up?'' Ed eyed him suspiciously.

''No, I'm at work, remember?'' Lucius smiled half-heartedly.

''It could be important,'' Ed tilted his head backwards.

''But it wasn't,'' Lucius brushed the topic off. ''I'm sorry, you were saying about something concerning you,'' he reminded.

''Yeah, well, about that...'' Ed stoped for a moment. ''I visited Oswald yesterday, but Oswald had payed me a visit a day before,'' Ed looked at his feet.

''That's good thing, isn't it?'' Lucius furrowed his eyebrows.

''It would have been if I hadn't lost my mind and told him to get out,'' Ed scratched the back of his head.

''Ok, I admit, that doesn't sound that good, but you said you were meeting next Friday, didn't you?''

''That's because I apologised to Oswald yesterday.''

''You just came to him, apologised and then you ate in one bed and slept next to each other?'' Lucius gave him incredulous look.

''Yeah, more or less,'' Ed tilted his head from one side to the other.

''And he didn't tell you to get out?''

''No, he was surprising Ok with that. I mean, I was expecting he would yell at me after all that mess, but he didn't,'' Ed felt uneasy. _And who stripped him from his will to live? I'd be surprised if his heart hasn't turned into cube of ice yet._

''I'm not gonna argue with you, you know your husband the best, but from my point of view, he has to be really desperate. The Penguin I've seen would just lash out.''

''I guess he would, but I'm trying! I'm gonna fix this! I didn't want for any of this to happen!'' Ed looked at his reflection in the table.

''Edward, calm down,'' Lucius grabbed his shoulders. ''I shouldn't have brought up the subject. You're right, you're going to fix this.''

''Why do I keep hurting him?'' Ed looked defeated. ''I don't want to.''

''Edward, you're moping. Think about your date, ok?'' Lucius clapped Ed's back.

''Why are you helping me, Foxy?''

''Well, I was your witness,'' Lucius shrugged nonchalantly.

''Thank you. It means a lot to me. It's nice to have somebody to talk to,'' Ed gave him shy smile, but had nagging feeling Lucius knew too much. After all, he was Wayne Enterprises employee and often helped the GCPD. The question was sincere – why was Lucius helping him? He could've called security if he wanted to.

''Likewise, Ed.''


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday evening dinner.

Oswald carefully applied his make up. After every brush of blush, he studied his looks, judging if he hadn't put too much. Three times he had resigned, removed the make up and started anew. Too much mascara, eye shadows didn't suit him. He had to show his best looks – he was going to their first date after Ed had left. Well, if that meeting could be called a date. For some unspecified reason Oswald prefered to think of it as a date. The date that would left Ed without any doubts that he wanted Oswald back.

He knew it would take him most of the day, so excused himself from the Iceberg Lounge earlier. Choosing clothing took him and hour or two. He went for purple accents, after all Ed once had said purple brought up his eyes. But was purple tie enough or should he wear purple jacket too? _No, jacket would be too much_ , he decided.

Edward stood in front of a mirror. He had to buy new mirrors after his last break down. He looked confidently into the mirror and his reflection didn't mock him. He put on his best green suit. In chest pocket he placed purple handkerchief. It was Oswald's colour and Ed wanted to show him how green and purple complemented each other. He was sure the analogy wouldn't be lost on his husband. In Ed's hair landed gracious amount of hair gell to keep his smart appearance. He gave one more look into the mirror and nodded. Oswald would know he cared seeing how much effort Ed had put into this date. Was it was if not a date?

Oswald took a deep breath. He could do it. It wasn't just a cruel joke on Ed's part. Ed wouldn't yell at him again, telling him to get lost. Ed had invited him, he had been seeking the ways to repair their damaged relationship. It wasn't even the first time they had to rebuild what they had destroyed. Oswald ran his hand through his neatly combed hair. _In_ , he thought inhaling, _and out._ He rang at the door.

The door opened almost immadiately. ''Oswald!'' Ed greeted him with warm smile, but Oswald could tell Ed's stomach was knotted just like Oswald's was. It was reassuring to know he wasn't the only person anxious about this meeting. ''It's delight to see you.''

''What, have you doubted I would come, Edward?'' Oswald fluttered his eyelashes.

''Oh, of course I haven't,'' Ed assured whole-heartedly.

''Good. Otherwise you'd be surprised,'' Oswald's lips curled up.

''It would a pleasant surprise then. Please, come in,'' Ed showed way inside.

''I brought a bottle of wine. I hope you'll let me drink it, Riddler,'' Oswald handed Ed said bottle.

''I don't know, will I?'' Ed hid the bottle behind his back.

Oswald walked in and looked around. ''Hm, cozy.''

''Well, I don't require a lot of space to live,'' Ed shrugged.

''I know you'd be happy with living in a box weren't you so tall,'' Oswald playfully nudged him. ''Really nice place,'' he nodded. ''Reminds me of your flat at Grundy Street,'' he smiled at Ed, but his expression was somewhat bitter if not self-depreciating.

''We had some good time there, didn't we?''

''We did,'' Oswald sighed. ''You don't happen to have a piano here?''

''I'm afraid I don't,'' Ed put down the bottle.

''Mhm, shame,'' Oswald eyed him.

''Real shame. You've got such a nice voice,'' Ed whispered softly.

''Such a shame. You're such a good player. I'm afraid we'd have to do without it,'' Oswald said in mock pity.

''Yes, it seems so. What an unfortunate event,'' their eyes locked and they both could see the sparkles of amusement which completely have away the act. ''Let me take your coat,'' Ed offered.

''Thanks, dear,'' Oswald dared. He had to remind Ed why they met there and what they were trying to achieve. He relaxed and let Ed take off his coat.

''So, as you've already noticed, the place is not that big,'' Ed spoke. ''Take a sit at the table and I'll bring the dinner in a second.''

''Alright,'' Oswald clasped his hands and let Ed guide him.

It seemed that Ed and Oswald had similar concept of what that meeting was. Candles and roses on white tablecloth. Oswald couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

''May I ask what have you prepared for us tonight?'' Oswald played with the edge of the tablecloth.

''You've already asked when asking,'' Ed noted playfully, which earned him a groan and rolling eyes from Oswald. Then he disappeared into the kitchen. With Ed in other room Oswald let himself scope Ed's flat more carefully. He noticed something glittering under the couch. He crouched to inspect the thing, which turned out to be a shard of mirror. He put it back under the couch. No doubt a leftover from one of Ed's breakdowns. Oswald wondered how many Ed had during that year. He returned quickly to his sit. Ed returned with two flutes. ''Don't drink it all,'' he gave Oswald cheeky smile when pouring the wine.

''I'm not an animal, Edward,'' Oswald crossed his arms.

''Oh, is that so, Mister Penguin?''

''Here we go again...'' Oswald let out long suffering breath.

''Come on, I'm just kidding! I know you are a man of manners, Oswald,'' Ed looked at him in a way that was supposed to be innocent.

''Dinner is getting cold,'' Oswald stared dead in his eye.

''Somebody's impatient. You'll ruin the surprise!'' Ed pouted. ''But when my guest is asking so politely it would be rude to refuse,'' Ed returned to the kitchen.

Oswald found bickering with Ed invigorating. Gosh, how much he had missed it. He knew Ed enjoyed it too. There always had been some layer of friendly banter between them. From Oswald's first days at Grundy Street. Ever since they had become equals in the criminal underworld, competitiveness played important part in their relationship. Who would come up with better idea of infuriating Jim? Whose heist plan was more cunning? Who sooner exposed threats awaiting them? They had worked together, but competition had made their cooperation more challenging and interesting. Usually the final product was mixture of their plans. It could be the reason why they had been so brilliant. Together they had been unstoppable.

Ed came with two plates. ''Ta-dah!'' he presented them to Oswald before putting them on the table.

''Your great surprise was supposed to be... pasta?'' Oswald raised an eyebrow unconvinced.

''Well, yes, why?'' Ed sat down. ''Do you mind?''

''No, I don't,'' Oswald stabbed pasta with a fork. ''I'm just surprised.''

''See? Surprise worked! You are surprised,'' Ed smirked.

''A point for you,'' Oswald smiled at him coquettishly tilting his head.

''It's pretty quiet in here. Would you like me put on some music?'' Ed offered.

''It would be very nice of you.''

Ed got up and put The Best of Louis Armstrong vinyl in the gramophone. He swinged back to his sit with the rhythm. Oswald cursed his husband for his slender hips. He took a sip of wine to hide the fact he was carefully watching or rather admiring Ed's every step, how gracefully he moved. He cursed Ed once more for the audacity to wear purple handkerchief. And because third time's a charm, he cursed him once more for his good looks. Ed's voice woke him up from his musing. Oswald looked at him confused.

''I was asking if you liked the pasta,'' Ed explained.

''Oh, I,'' Oswald swallowed. ''I haven't tried yet. I was waiting for you.''

''You needn't have to, but thank you, all the same. Let's eat,'' Ed looked at Oswald.

They rolled the pasta around their forks in uneasy silence as if the dinner was poisoned. As discreetly as they could they watched the other put food into his mouth.

''I can see now why you kept it surprise. New recipe?'' Oswald took another sip of wine.

Ed played with his flute mindful of the liquid inside. ''Yes. I decided to serve something special. Do you like it?'' he said casually.

''It's mouth-watering,'' Oswald said without even thinking it through. He missed Ed's cooking. Well, he missed Ed with all of his edness. _Damned be Ed for his cuisine and quirkiness and attractive features_ , he thought. _He is supposed to miss me and beg me to let him come back! Not me!_

''Only the best for you,'' Ed dared to touch his hand. ''So, how was your week?''

Oswald didn't flinch on the contact, he knew Ed was challenging him. His response was entwining their fingers together. ''Pretty good, I guess. Work as usual. How was yours?''

''Uneventful for the most part. Almost boring,'' Ed sighed dramatically. ''The only interesting thing was calling you receiving your calls,'' he withdrew his hand.

 _Chicken_ , Oswald thought. ''Well, maybe you should plan a bomb attack on the GCPD headquarters? It should keep boredom away.''

''Maybe. I'd like to see Jimbo's face,'' Ed chuckled into his flute.

''Oh no, he'd just bore you to death with his golden words of morality,'' Oswald made faux-serious face.

''Edward, you don't have to do this. I believe there's still some good left in you, therefore we will send you to Arkham, while I'll keep getting into Aubrey's ass, because that's what our noble ancestors did,'' Ed mocked Gordon's voice. Both of them burst into laughter.

''It has just occured to me I haven't asked you how was the last year for you yet. I've heard you had some problems. I hope it wasn't anything serious?'' Oswald changed the subject.

 _Damn you, Oswald_ , Ed narrowed his eyes. ''Nothing will escape your attention, Oswald,'' he smiled smugly. Oswald simply shook his shoulders. ''I had some troubles, which led to three unsuccessful heists,'' he chewed his dinner.

 _So, it's true_ , Oswald couldn't help but feel worried. Three failures were three too much. Edward could easily end up in Arkham! ''Aren't they looking for you?''

''After the third I hid for a while. Besides, they couldn't find evindence of my guilt.''

''I know they are bunch of pea brains, but please explain. Aren't question marks and riddles enough of evidence?''

''The thing is I left none of that,'' Ed grinned mischievously.

''How? That's so unlike you, Ed!'' Oswald stared at him wide eyed.

''I know, but that was the part of plan. You see, those heists have never supposed to be tied with the name of yours truly,'' Ed touched his chest to emphasise his words.

''Yet people are talking it was you,'' Oswald reminded.

''People may be talking, but the police without the evidence legally cannot do much. Gossip is not an evidence. And well, Gotham happens to be a city full of criminals.''

''I swear to you that you wouldn't hear the end of it if I was to pull you out of Arkham again,'' Oswald pointed his fork at Ed.

Ed blinked at Oswald's words. It took him a while to process them. ''You would come for me?''

''If I had to. Even being sick of you, I wouldn't let you waste away in that horrible place. But don't,'' Oswald waved his hand in a threatening manner. ''Try doing this on purpose. I may start prioritise other matters.''

''Understood,'' Ed nodded. Oswald's words made him feel like flying. They let him read through his husband's actions. Oswald hadn't asked him about his slips to ridicule him, he had asked because he cared. He had wanted to make sure Ed was safe. ''May I top you?'' he reached for the bottle.

''Oh, yes, please,'' Oswald watched Ed pour more wine into their flutes. ''You know, I met Barbara few days ago. It actually made me wonder how she had got your address,'' he rolled pasta onto fork. ''Probably she'd asked Cat for help.''

''Are you suggesting Selina had been spying on me?''

''Yes, I think it's pretty likely.''

''Nobody had followed me. I would have noticed,'' Ed grimaced.

''No, you wouldn't. Selina is difficult to track down,'' Oswald crossed his arms and leant back against the chair. ''Or maybe she had asked your neighbours or landlord. I don't believe they don't know who you are, Ed.''

Ed felt claustrophobic suddenly. Were his neighbours spying on him? Sure, not everybody wore green everyday, but that didn't necessarily mean that person was The Riddler.

''Barbara hasn't named her price yet, but I'm sure she will when it suits her,'' Oswald went on.

''I haven't told anyone about my flat,'' Ed protested.

''It doesn't matter, Ed. Barbara found out where do you live somehow,'' Cobblepot bit his lip.

''I haven't told anyone except Lucius,'' Ed recalled slowly. ''Once I invited him, but he refused. No one has ever paid me a visit. The only people who came were landlord, postman and you,'' Ed nibbled inside of his cheek.

''Pretty exclusive group, huh?'' Oswald smirked. ''Do you think Lucius told her?''

''Could be. I don't think they are going to tell us even if we interrogated them,'' Ed played with his hands.

''Guess we'll never know,'' Oswald shrugged.

''Unless Barbara wanted to tell us.''

''That's not going to happen,'' Oswald shook his head.

''I see you've finished,'' Ed looked at Oswald's empty place. ''May I take it?''

''Leave it as it is,'' Oswald waved. ''You're not going to wash dishes now, are you?''

''Wanna dance?'' Ed suddenly offered.

Oswald stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

''Come on, it's going to be fun,'' Ed begged.

Oswald blinked. ''Yeah, sure, why not?'' he chuckled awkwardly and took Ed's hand.

They danced slowly swaying to the music. The touch was pleasant and gentle. Ed took his time to admire Oswald's features. His unusual nose, his long lashes made longer by mascara, the subtle eyeshadow and blush painted onto his cheeks. He was breath-taking. He must have been smiling like an idiot, because Oswald asked him why was he looking at him like that.

''You're simply gorgeous,'' Ed whispered into Oswald ear, his warm breath brushing Oswald's earlobe.

''Well, you're quite a view yourself,'' Oswald ran his hand down from Ed's shoulder to his chest and back up.

''Am I?'' Ed wiggled his eyebrows. He took Oswald's hand into his. Having brought it up to his lips, he planted a kiss to Oswald's hand.

''Edward, since when you've become so courteous?'' Oswald slowly licked his lips.

''I don't know. Meanwhile,'' Ed said putting his head on Oswald's shoulder.

''Of course,'' Oswald found it tempting to bury his fingers in Ed's hair, but hair gell stopped him from proceeding. ''Well, I guess I should be going, it's getting late,'' Oswald straightened his back.

''You can stay for a night,'' Ed proposed.

''Ed, sleeping together was one time thing. I'm not ready for that yet,'' Oswald confessed.

''No problem, I get it,'' Ed assured, but he felt stung. ''I can take the sofa.''

''No, I don't want to burden you with my presence,'' Oswald brushed Ed's shoulders.

''I'm very happy to have you here!'' word spilled from Ed's lips.

''Pete will pick me up,'' Oswald walked towards the exit.

''Why call your chauffeur in the middle of a night if you can stay for a night? There's no chance of you staying?'' Ed pouted.

''Maybe next time?'' Oswald left a bait for Ed.

''When is next time?''

''I don't know, we'll see,'' Oswald shrugged.

''May I kiss you in the cheek or will this be too much too?'' Ed teased.

''Good question,'' Oswald tilted his head in a mock-ponder. ''Hm, let's see...'' he tortured Ed for a bit longer. ''You may.''

Ed grinned like his head was cut in a half and pressed a kiss to Oswald's cheek. In exchange Oswald gently caressed his cheek.

''I really need to be going,'' he said.

''I'll see you soon?'' Ed asked hopefully.

''Sure, why not?'' Oswald touched the knob.

''Oswald!'' Ed called running after him.

''What?'' Oswald furrowed his brows.

''Your coat,'' Ed handed him said piece of clothing.

''Thanks,'' Oswald smiled and took it. ''I had truly great time.''

''Then I wasn't the only person having good time.''

''Stay in touch?'' Oswald asked leaving Ed's flat.

''Of course,'' Ed watched him leave. He couldn't help but wonder what went wrong. Why wouldn't Oswald stay? Or maybe Oswald was feeling more like himself? His old, stubborn, playing hard to get self. If that was the case, it was surely good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

Splash!

Water was hard against Oswald's back. He tried to reach out for Ed, but the darkness of the depths made it difficult to see anything. It felt like the water was becoming more and more dense. He wanted to scream for help. He wanted to call Ed. Hadn't Ed pushed him into bay? Or had he pushed himself? Then the world became bright again and all that Oswald could see was the whiteness of the ceiling. Was it water that was so hard against his back or the bottom of the bathtub? Was the view in front of his eyes black or white? He didn't know where he was or why he was there, all he knew was that he was drowning. Like Schrödinger's cat was both dead and alive, Oswald's hand were both tied up and free, and he was both dressed and naked. He wanted to scream with the little oxygen he still had in his lungs. He was mad at Edward for killing him, for choosing Isabella, for cheating on him, for not loving him. He also felt sorry for leaving Ed like this. Would he spare a tear for him when Oswald was gone? He should have left with a proper goobye, but Ed didn't give him that opportunity. Had he pushed himself into the bay or had Ed pushed him into the bathtub? He wanted to call Ed and apologise for killing her, for killing himself. Would Ed regret shooting Oswald, pushing him into water, turning him back at his door? Would Ed blame himself? He wanted to tell Ed he deserved better, that both of them deserved better. And that he was sorry, so sorry... that he hadn't wanted for things to end that way.

He didn't know where he was, if it was bright or dark, he only knew he was drowning and all he could think about was Edward. Everything blended into one: docks and bathroom, him betraying Ed and Ed betraying him. Betrayal after betrayal and death after death. It was all the same event. Water to water, rot to rotten, ash to ashes, dust to dust. _Your deception, my disgust, When your name is finally drawn I'll be happy that you're gone._ He had to be gone, there was no other choice, he had nothing more to give and life had nothing more to offer him except for pain and suffering. Oswald had suffered enough. _There is nothing more for me, in the end set me free._ Didn't he deserve that much for everything he went through? _But Ed, oh Ed!_ Could Oswald just leave him like that? But he had brought his own doom by himself and now was facing consequences. Every cell of Oswald's body screamed for oxygen, his limbs were shaking in convultion. He was dying. No! He couldn't leave Ed, he had to stay for him. _Edward!_ He wanted to reach out and scream, but all in vain. _Help!_ It was too late, his body wouldn't listen to him anymore. _Save me!_ Could have he cried, he would have, but how does one cry underwater? _Ed, I'm sorry._ He was drifting away, his body soon would be rotten at the bottom of the bay and never to be found. His body would find its way to a morgue for Ed give one last look at his husband. Suddenly strong arms grabbed his shoulders. A voice begged him not to die. Ed had shot him and pushed into the bay with the intent of killing him in cold blood. Ed had saved him.

Oswald woke up gasping like he had been choking. He was all wet. In panic he looked around.

 _Everything is alright_ , he told himself. He was in his bedroom. It was only a nightmare. The nightmare build from memories, nevertheless. Oswald lit the lamp on his bedside table and looked at the clock. Four AM. He wondered if Ed was awake. It was pretty likely – he was awake already or he hasn't went to sleep yet. Still, he decided against calling Ed. It was only a nightmare, there was no reason to fret Ed about it.

Oswald lay back and huffed closing his eyes. He was going to fall asleep. It was just a stupid nightmare, nothing to worry or think about. Since his little misadventure in the bathroom, he felt guilty for what he had done. He shouldn't even have considered taking that step. He knew Ed was blaming himself. In Riddler's eyes he saw that his death would destroy Ed, who would never forgive himself. Would Ed bring Oswald back or, Oswald didn't want to think about it as if a mere thought could make it real, would he also end himself? He sighed once again and rolled to his side. He was selfish, that was all that he was. In his anger and desperation he hadn't thought he would have hurt Ed. Oswald felt uncomfortable with this realisation, it rubbed and scratched like too tight, coarse clothing. All thoughts in his head led to deep embarrassment, it surrounded him from all sides, there was nowhere to hide from the shame. All he could do was curl in his bed and cry.

''Ed, I'm sorry,'' he whispered.

* * *

Oswald was awaken by his mobile ringing. He was enjoying his peaceful night after the nightmare of the previous night and somebody had to wake him up in that very moment. Why couldn't that happened the night before? He grumbled and reluctantly reached out for his phone. He looked at the hour and then at caller's ID. He muttered a curse and picked up.

''Edward, do you realise what time it is? It's two in the moring, or should I say _two in the night_?'' Oswald made sure his voice was poisonous enough. Since their little Friday date they called each other almost every day, sometimes several times a day. But they have never called each other at this kind of ungodly hour.

''Oh, you're asleep?'' Ed asked uncomfortably.

''No, not anymore, thanks a lot!''

''I didn't mean to wake you up. Sorry,'' in the phone could be heard a sound of Ed bitting his nails.

''Stop doing that,'' Oswald furrowed his eyebrows.

''Doing what?''

''Biting you nails,'' Oswald sighed.

''I'm sorry once again for waking you up. I won't disturb you any further. Sleep tight,'' Ed said hastily.

''Ed, wait! There must be a reason why you called me in the middle of the night.''

''I just wanted to hear your voice,'' Ed explained.

''And you called me at two AM? Because you wanted to hear me?'' Oswald scoffed in disbelief. ''What I was supposed to do at this hour?''

''Uh, umm, yeah... you're right, it was a bad idea. Good night, Oswald,'' Ed hung up.

''Ed! Don't hang up on me! Edward!'' Oswald yelled and threw his mobile in anger. ''Great,'' he huffed. After a call like that he wasn't going to get any sleep. He got up, very unhappy about leaving his warm bed.

Half an hour later he was standing at Ed's door. Riddler surely wasn't asleep yet, and if by some miracle he was, well, an eye for an eye. The door was opened by Ed in his pajamas and with ruffled hair.

''Oswald?'' Ed yawned. ''What are you doing here?''

''You called me, so I came,'' Oswald deadpanned.

''Uh, I guess I did,'' Ed scratched his head.

''Are you having problems with remembering when you did what again?'' Oswald considered the possibility. He didn't like it in the tiniest bit. It wasn't unlikely, though. Ed's mental breakdowns could lead to that and most likely Ed's mental health suffered from Oswald's recent actions.

''No! No, no,'' Ed let a stiff laughter. ''It's not like that.''

''Thanks God!'' Oswald felt like burden was removed from his shoulders. ''Anyway, here I am! Not only you can hear me, but also see me. So, can I come inside?''

''Oh, yes!'' Ed waved, inviting him. ''Come in.''

''Since I came here, could you please make me a nice cup of tea?'' Oswald asked taking off his coat.

''No problem,'' Ed smiled slightly. ''It's very nice of you to come.''

''It's not like I'll be getting any sleep soon, so I figured I could drop by,'' Oswald hung his coat on a rack.

''Sorry about that. It was unwise of me. I should have known you were asleep,'' Ed headed towards kitchen and Oswald followed him.

''You should have, but here we are,'' Oswald raised his arms helplessly.

''Black, red, mint, camomile?'' Ed opened a drawer.

''Black will be fine, thanks,'' Oswald sat down on a counter. ''So why did you call me?'' he kicked the counter.

''I told you, I wanted to hear you,'' Ed turned on kettle.

''And you missed me so much you had to call me at two AM?'' Oswald raised na eyebrow.

''It's been nine days since the dinner and we haven't seen each other since then,'' Ed took two cups from a cabinet.

''Bullshit. If you wanted to see me, you could have called me at some more acceptable time.''

''I missed you. Does that idea seem absurd to you?'' Ed pattered with his left foot nervously.

''No,'' Oswald shook his head. ''But you're not telling me the whole truth. I can feel it. So? Are you going to tell me or do I have to force you?'' he said with a playful smirk.

''There is nothing I can hide from you, is there?'' Ed asked with amusement.

''I just want my answers.''

Ed took the kettle and poured water into cups and put tea bags. ''What do you want to know?''

''You're simply impossible, you know?'' Oswald rolled his eyes. ''Just spit it out, whatever it is.''

''I couldn't sleep,'' Ed admited in defeat.

''You really think I'm so boring that having a talk with me would lull you to sleep? Thaaanks, Ed,'' Oswald tilted his head.

''No, but it would put my mind at ease,'' Ed bit his nail.

''Oh my God, stop doing that!'' Oswald hit Ed's hand to which Ed jumped startled. ''You were worried about me,'' it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

''Yes,'' Ed licked his lip. ''Since...'' he sighed heavily. ''I've been worried about you since I had visited you,'' he added sheepishly.

''Ed,'' Oswald put his hand on Ed's shoulder. ''I've told you already not to worry about that.''

''It's not unusual I'm worried about you! If you were me, wouldn't you be?'' Ed protested.

''I would,'' Oswald muttered and lowered his head.

''What was that?'' Ed put his hand to his ear.

''I would,'' Oswald said louder. That bastard had heard him and wanted to humiliate him by getting from him those words. ''You know that I would!'' he jumped off the counter.

''Then why are you acting like that?''

''Because I care about you! And I don't want you to...'' Oswald froze. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to be too direct. He didn't want to tell Ed it was him, that he tried to commit suicide. He didn't want for Ed to feel guilty and if he wasn't already feeling guilty, after hearing Oswald's confession he surely would.

''To what?'' Ed urged.

Oswald turned his head not to look at Ed. He didn't want Ed to see his face when he said those words, he didn't want to see Ed's reaction. ''You're blaming yourself, aren't you?''

Ed for once was speechless. Yes, yes and once again yes, of course he was blaming himself, but to admit it would be to admit that he was sure that it had been Oswald trying to kill himself. He didn't want to do that, he couldn't do that. ''I believe tea is ready,'' he handed Oswald one of cups.

''Thanks,'' Oswald accepted it with a wry smile. It looked that he wasn't the only one person in that kitchen suffering from nightmares. Ed hadn't answered his question. Maybe it was better that way. Ed wouldn't ask him questions he didn't want to answer and he wouldn't need to lie or tell uneasy truth. ''Do you have any plans for this lovely night?'' he blew at his cup of tea.

''It depends,'' Ed sipped and wrinkled his nose at the bitter taste of tea. It was brewing for too long.

''Depends on what?''

''How much time do we have.''

''I thought I could stay for a night if you don't have anything against the idea. Of course I'll understand if you'd prefer me to leave earlier.''

''You can stay as long as you'd like to! I actually hoped you'd stay,'' Ed admited with a warm smile.

''Looks like we've got this matter sorted out,'' Oswald smirked.

''Well then, I think movie night would be the best for insomnia,'' Ed suggested.

''Please, not another Star Wars marathon,'' Oswald rubbed his forehead.

Oswald's calls were answered, but in the way he'd like them to. Ed brought his Star Trek collection and joyfully offered (or using Oswald's dictionary _threatened_ ) that next time they were going to watch the extended version of The Lord of The Rings. As Oswald found movies unappealing he had to find more interesting occupation – in his case irritating Ed.

''Say, Eddie, did you have somebody to keep you company during this year?''

Nygma furrowed his forehead. ''Like a lover or something?''

''Like a lover or something,'' Oswald nodded coldly.

''No! I did not. How can you suggest such a thing?'' Ed crossed his arms offended.

''Well, I have my reasons to suspect it. But it seems that it's not that interesting when I'm not around,'' Oswald inspected his nails.

''Great, now you're starting again!''

''It's not like you have ever explained that to me! It's not something we left behind! We still have to work it out.''

''Ok, that's what you want? I got drunk, I wasn't thinking clearly-''

''You weren't thinking at all,'' Oswald interrupted him.

''And!'' Ed cut into Oswald's words. ''I cheated on you with some woman I don't even remember how she looked like. That's it.''

''That's it?'' Oswald asked in high-pitched voice.

''It was mistake that I regret doing and I won't ever do again. You have my word on that,'' Edward swore.

''Let's say it will do for now,'' Oswald yawned. ''But we will be back to this matter later.''

Edward couldn't let an occasion like that slip through his fingers. ''What about you, Ozzie?'' Oswald looked at him with surprised expression. ''Did you have anybody?''

''You!'' Oswald stabbed Ed with his finger. ''You little piece of shit! Unlike some of us I'm not cheating on my husband!''

''Not even as an eye for an eye?'' Ed teased.

Oswald smacked Ed's head. ''Not even,'' he stared coldly Ed in the eye.

''Well, your husband must be lucky to have you,'' Ed purred into Oswald's ear.

''You can bet your life he is,'' Oswald raised his head proudly.

''Mhm,'' Ed murmured softly. He slowly brought his face to Oswald's, but when their lips where about to meet, Oswald stopped him with his hand.

''Don't, Edward. We are not at this level.''

''Oh, somebody's hard to please,'' Ed rubbed circles on Oswald's shoulders. He seemed to be even more turned on. ''Good, makes things more challenging.''

''I should receive a free pass to heaven for putting up with you,'' Oswald rubbed his forehead. ''Honestly, you're like a headache.''

''Shhh! Here comes the plot twist!'' Ed put his finger on Oswald's lips.

''Whatever,'' Cobblepot muttered. ''Do you have popcorn?''

After a minute of silence Ed relied with ''No''.

They went on bickering while watching. Oswald kept getting more drowsy, yawning every few minutes. He rested his head on Ed's shoulder and didn't even mind Edward rubbing his arm. It was pleasantly familiar. It didn't take him long to drinft off to the land of dreams. Ed smiled to himself pressing a kiss to black mess of Oswald's hair. He grabbed remote and turned off TV. Then he gently lifted Oswald, carried him to his bed and tucked him in. Having taken care of Oswald, he laid on the couch. He knew he would have no problems falling asleep when Oswald just few meters away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used some quotes from Linkin Park's "Skin To Bone" and Metallica's "Fade To Black", because music. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

Oswald had tight schedule and he assured Edward that he was very very sorry about that, but he couldn't find enough time to meet him in the week that had started, but he would be glad to have Ed visit him on Saturday. Ed wasn't happy about it. He had a feeling Oswald was distancing himself from Ed, avoiding him. He was anxious that Oswald had changed his mind about their marriage and decided that it was better to leave it behind. Not that he would voice his concerns to Oswald. He didn't want to give Oswald a chance to confirm them. Of course there was an option of meeting Oswald in the Iceberg Lounge, but he wasn't even sure if he wouldn't end up thrown out. All that he could do was calling Oswald as often as possible. And he had to admit that Oswald has been calling him a lot as well.

Days were passing slowly for Ed. During his shows in the Riddle Factory, he was glancing at his watch every few minutes. Most of his riddles became penguin or umbrella-shaped and these that didn't point to Oswald felt bland and repetitive. Ed didn't even felt like talking to Lucius, he just wanted to fall asleep and don't wake up until Saturday.

Lucius called him on Thursday. Unwillingly Ed picked up. Everything was so boring. Only talking to Oswald made him less lethargic.

''Hi, Ed. How are things going? I haven't heard from you since last Wednesday.''

''Missing me already, Foxy?'' Ed teased.

''I was surprised you haven't raided my house or my workplace this week yet,'' smile could be heard in Lucius' voice.

''My my, is working for Wayne Enterprises this boring? You should consider changing your job.''

''You are suspiciously quiet recently. Is everything alright? Or you are thinking of ways to put yourself in danger?''

''If I was planning some big action, I wouldn't tell you about it, would I?'' Ed rolled his eyes.

''One could figure that much.''

''But you might be right about one thing – I've been pretty busy recently,'' Ed bit his thumb.

''Like with what?'' Lucius asked in disbelief.

''The Riddle Factory, stuff like that... I don't have to tell you anything, you know, Foxy?!'' Ed added angrily. He had a feeling he went into a trap set by Lucius. ''You're going to run to Jimbo and tell him I was up to something!'' he accused.

''No, I would need more information if I wanted to tell Jim. GCPD always assumes you, Oswald, Ivy, Selina, Freeze, Firefly, Mad Hatter and Scarecrow are up to something, so that wouldn't be any newsflash for them,'' Lucius explained calmly.

''Now you're just trying make me drop down my guard,'' Ed said unamused.

''Maybe,'' Lucius laughed. ''But being serious now, I thought that perhaps you were busy with Oswald.''

''Are my affairs that interesting to you?'' Ed asked in a mock-scandalised voice.

''I can hardly call it an affair, Edward. You are married and I was your witness, remember?''

''Please, remind me why I made that mistake?'' Ed smirked.

''You mean getting married?'' Lucius deadpanned.

''No, you idiot!'' Ed huffed. ''Choosing you as my witness.''

''You can only ask yourself,'' Foxy sighed. ''Well, after all Oswald chose Barbara and if that wasn't a mistake, I don't know what is.''

''He chose her because I told him I would never accept Jim being his witness,'' Ed grimaced. Oswald must have been not in his right mind to think that Ed would say yes to his witness being his old crush. No, no and once again no! Who would have agreed to such a thing?

''How are things between you two going, anyway?'' Lucius changed the subject.

''How curious you are!'' Ed scoffed.

''I clearly remember you whining about your broken marriage for a year. It's in my best interest for you get back together, so I don't have to listen to you punishing yourself for your actions.''

''You really have a death wish, Foxy,'' Ed seethed.

''No, I don't. I'm not sure if you had noticed that, but I'm trying to help you, Ed.''

''Then I'll have you know I'm meeting Oswald on Saturday, we're calling each other every day and last I've seen him on Sunday.''

''That's some progress!'' Lucius tried to lift up Ed's mood.

''I think he's avoiding me,'' Ed confessed morosely.

''What makes you think that?''

''Oswald knocked on my door, then I visited him next day, then we met at my place on Friday, then he visited me once more last Sunday, but only because I had called him in the middle of the night! We were supposed to plan our next meeting after the dinner, but he keeps telling me he's busy. If he wanted to see me, he would have found time for me.''

''Didn't he invited you to visit him on Saturday?'' Lucius reminded.

''Only because I insisted,'' Ed said resentfully.

''I think you're overreacting, Ed. Give him some time. You haven't seen each other for a year, you can't possibly expect him to move back to how things had been that quickly,'' Lucius reasoned.

''I don't know, it doesn't sound convincing to me,'' Ed hesitated.

''Because you don't want it to sound convincing. Just let things keep their pace and everything will be alright, Ok?''

''Sure, whatever. I need to be going, you know Riddle Factory. It was nice talking to you, bye,'' Ed hung up before Lucius could respond. Lucius should have tried harder not to be suspicious. The whole conversation seemed to Ed fishy. Why would he ask about Ed's progress with Oswald? It was none of Foxy's business, well maybe except for being his witness.

* * *

Ed picked his best clothes for his date with Oswald. He also bought a bouquet of red roses. Oswald was sentimental and would appreciate it.

When he entered the mansion, he was greeted by Oswald, who was, no surprise here, dressed to kill. He would anticipate nothing less from his husband.

''Have I told you how great you look?'' Edward smirked flirtatiously and offered Oswald flowers.

''You're quite a dapper fellow yourself,'' Oswald smirked recalling their mayoral time. ''Are these for me?'' he gasped reaching for roses.

''Well, of course. Not for Olga, obviously,'' Ed joked.

''Thank you, you needn't have,'' Oswald took bouquet. ''They are beautiful,'' he inhaled the scent, closing his eyes and murmuring in pleasure. ''I'll have them put in a vase.''

''Not as beautiful as you,'' Ed sang, earning a blush on Oswald's cheeks.

''Olga!'' Oswald called. Ed internally cringed at that. He was so not looking forward meeting the housemaid. He's never liked her and she's never liked him and probably liked him even less after he had left.

Olga walked unhappy about the fact she was needed somewhere. ''Uh, it's you,'' having noticed Ed she said in tone people use when they see a worm, then she eyed Ed judgingly and grumbled. ''What he's doing here? I hoped I wouldn't need to see his face anymore.''

_The audacity of that woman_ , Ed thought.

''Peace, Olga,'' Oswald waved his hand in her direction. ''Could you please put flowers in the living room? Thank you,'' he said coldly.

''It's not nice to you see as well, Olga,'' Ed wrinkled his nose. ''I can't say I missed you.''

''Me too,'' housemaid put her massive hands on her hips.

''Olga,'' Oswald rebuked her.

She answered muttering something in Russian and went away.

''So, how are you, Ed?'' Oswald wrapped his arm around Ed's back.

''Good, thanks. Contestants are still as stupid as ever,'' Ed laughed.

''You do realise that if I took part in that riddle contest of yours, I would lose too? Are you calling me stupid, darling?'' Oswald squeezed Ed tighter, pretending to be menacing.

''Me?'' Ed put on his most innocent face. ''I would never even dare to think that!''

''Good. It'd better stay that way,'' Oswald led his husband to the livingroom.

''And what about you? Are you going to be busy next week as well, dear?'' Ed whispered to Oswald's ear.

''No, I don't think I will. You see, there was a feud with one of gangs.''

''Oh! I hope you've got sorted it out,'' Ed ran his hand down Oswald's arm.

''Oh, yes,'' Cobblepot nodded. ''They won't be a problem anymore,'' he smirked.

Ed grinned back knowingly. ''Does that mean you will have more time for meeting people?''

''What kind of people?'' Oswald sat down on a couch and Ed followed the suit.

''People who are dying to see you,'' Ed put his hand on Oswald's cheek and gently turned his face in his direction.

''Hm, that sounds very serious. Dying, you say?'' Oswald placed his hand on Ed's tigh. ''Yes, I might find some time for these people.''

''Mhmm,'' Ed murmured as buried his face in the crook of Oswald's neck. ''You smell nice.''

Oswald felt his face turning hot and giggled nervously. ''Thanks.''

''Very very nice,'' Ed went on. ''Very very tasty.''

I stopped being funny to Oswald. ''Ed, stop,'' he commanded. It scared Oswald how much he wanted that.

''I could eat you,'' Ed mumbled kissing Penguin's neck.

Oswald's heart was racing. Quickly he pushed Ed away. ''Stop!'' Ed pouted. ''Don't give me that look, Ed. I told you to stop!'' Oswald pushed away hair from his face.

''Weren't you enjoying that, Ozzie?''

''It's doesn't matter if I was enjoying that or not. I told you to stop!'' Oswald waved his arms uncontrollably. Then he took deep inhale and exhaled slowly. ''Very well, if there's no other way, I'll explain it to you like you were a child.''

''Hey!'' Ed protested.

''Don't interrupt me, alright, sweetheart?'' Oswald said sweetly yet toxicly. ''We can't get to that place not having talked about what had happened a year ago.''

''Then why are you flirting with me?!'' Ed lashed out. ''Are you having fun playing me? Ed yes, Ed no, we can do this, but we can't do that, I'll meet you today, but I won't meet you tomorrow?''

''Is it weird that I'm flirting with my husband?''

''You're giving me hope and then you're taking it away! You're toying with me!'' Ed shouted out his hurt pride.

''I am not!'' Oswald yelled back. ''If there's anyone playing here it's you!'' he jabbed Ed's chest. ''You act oh so worried about me, so remorseful, but when I try to get answers from you, you change topic or pretend it doesn't exist. You're doing that again, don't you realise?'' Oswald's voice broke. ''You're running away! You're running away, when I want to talk about it. I know it's not pleasant matter, but we have to talk about it, for fuck's sake! Stop running away, Edward! It will not make our problems disappear!'' he shook Ed's shoulders. ''We can't go any further without talking about it,'' Oswald sighed tired.

''I could talk about it if you wanted to hear me out!'' Ed clenched his fists.

''What?!'' Oswald shrieked.

''Everytime I address the past, you keep telling me that my words wouldn't change anything, that my reasoning wasn't any excuse for my actions, that I had to stop apologising, because it meant nothing. When I apologise I mean it, Oswald! But you never listen to me! Never! I know that my words can't change the past, but now you're crying that I'm running away from this talk. Maybe I am, I don't know. I'm trying not to run away, I know it won't help us. But you're not making this any easier for me, you know? You're interrupting me just to yell at me and start another tirade on how it doesn't change anything. You simultaneously want me to talk about my betrayal and you don't wanna hear me. Make up your mind!''

Oswald turned his face away. ''Were do we go from here?'' he felt tears gathering in his eyes.

''I don't know,'' Ed sighed heavily. ''Forward?'' To this words Oswald laughed, though the sound was muffled by sob stuck in his throat. ''Listen,'' Ed said carefully. ''I know it's my fault, but I believe we can sort this out. You said we wouldn't be able to get any further if we hadn't talked about what I had done. I don't really want to talk about it, it scares me, Oswald,'' he shook his head. ''But I want to move forward, so I'll talk. Do you want to move forward?'' Ed took Oswald's hands.

''Y-yes,'' Oswald sniffed. ''I'm afraid that if we don't, you'll run away again.''

''I won't, I promise. Cross my heart,'' Ed made a sign over his chest.

''Okay, okay,'' Oswald patted Ed's back and cleared his throat. ''Would you like to start?''

''Uh, well...'' Nygma fidgeted with his fingers. ''Let's set up some rules first, maybe?''

''Sounds fair,'' Oswald crossed his arms.

''Alright, so rule number one: we will not interrupt each other.''

''Easier said than done,'' Penguin scoffed.

''Oswald!'' Ed rebuked him.

''What?'' Cobblepot shook his shoulders. ''I'm a realist here.''

''You? A realist?'' Ed raised an eyebrow eyeing his husband.

''Ed,'' Oswald stared at him in a way that would make other people in Gotham tremble. ''I'm just saying that you know me and my bad temper and I know you and your bad temper. But of course I'll try.''

''I guess that will have to suffice. Rrrule number two,'' Riddler showed two fingers. ''We will listen to each other.''

''Isn't that the same thing?''

''Not at all! We could be not interrupting each other, yet ignoring each other at the same time.''

''Makes sense,'' Oswald agreed. ''Do we need more rules or we're going to talk at last?''

''We'll see,'' Ed fixed his glasses.

''Ok, then, the floor is yours,'' Oswald made generous move with his hand.

''Were do I start?'' Ed pondered. ''I'll be repeating myself, so bear with me. First of all, the whole year has been a farse. There wasn't a day that I haven't regreted my decision. Well, not one decision, plenty of them. Cheating on you, leaving you, avoiding you... you name it. I wanted to see you, but I was scared you'd ask for divorce,'' Oswald opened his mouth, but Ed reminded. ''Rule one, remember?'' Oswald nodded and Ed went on. ''When you came I didn't know what to do, I was lost, so my reaction was anger and I regret that too. I'm smarter than making the same mistake twice. I will never run away again, I will never cheat on you again. In the end it wasn't worth it,'' he put his hand on Oswald's shoulder. ''I don't want to lose you. I love you.''

Seeing that Ed had stopped talking, Oswald asked. ''Why haven't you thought about that earlier? Everybody knows that cheating on your spouse doesn't end well. You knew I would find out. Then why? Tell me.''

''That was one of the dumbest things I've done, I know. But the thing is, there is no explanation. I can offer you none that is good, because there's no good reason. I can't satisfy your need for answers. What, Oswald?'' Ed asked looking at Oswald's raised hand.

''I just wanted to point out that I don't want good explanation. I don't want you to lie to me, make up some excuse. I want the truth, however senseless may it be.''

''The truth is,'' Ed hesitated. ''I was drunk, I wasn't thinking clearly, I haven't thought about consequences at all and she made me horny. That's it,'' Ed cringed ashamed. ''I know it sounds bad. Ok, it is bad.''

''Was she at least good?'' Oswald rubbed his forehead.

''What?'' Ed asked confused.

''Was sex with her satisfying? Was she better than me?'' Oswald spoke inhaling sharply.

''No,'' Ed hid his face in his hands. He really didn't want Oswald to look at him in that moment. ''She wasn't.''

''Well, Eddie,'' Oswald patted Ed's shoulder. ''That truly was the dumbest thing you've done so far. It seems that it really wasn't worth it. I mean, if she was better than me, well, at least you'd have some good time.''

''You don't have to mock me,'' Ed muttered from behind the wall of his hands.

''Look, we've got one issue addressed!'' Oswald tried to get Ed out of his shell. ''Was it that bad?''

''Yes,'' Ed mumbled.

''Come on, don't act like that. I'm not yelling at you or throwing you out, am I?'' Oswald said proudly and Ed decided to switch to gibberish. ''That's right. Now there's one more thing I'd like to know. Why you left?''

_God have mercy on me_ , Ed thought. ''I wanted to give us both some space.''

''What was that? Ed, I can't hear you properly when you are covering your face.''

Ed put his hands down. ''I wanted to give us both some space,'' he repeated. ''If I stayed we'd be arguing all the time and you said you were tired fighting and didn't want to go through the whole cycle again. So I thought it would be good idea to leave, so we wouldn't be fighting. I thought I would be back earlier, but the more time passed, the more anxious I was. I was scared of your reaction. And you had never reached out for me, so I thought you had stopped caring about me. That maybe you had found somebody else.''

''How was I supposed to contact you, when I didn't know where were you? How was I supposed to call you when you changed your number? Ed, you call yourself cold logican, so behave like one! You really thought I stopped caring?'' Oswald tried to keep his voice even and not to yell. ''You don't have any idea how worried I was! I read all the newspapers and watched all the news to know if you didn't get thrown into Arkham or worse!''

''You could easily find me through the Riddle Factory,'' Ed noted.

''After you had accused me of spying you? I decided to give you the space you craved so much. And being honest, I was also scared of our confrontation. I was scared you'd want to divorce me too,'' Oswald let out a stiff chuckle.

''I'm so sorry,'' Ed's voice broke as he pulled Oswald into embrace.

Cobblepot shook and sobbed. ''We could've fixed it earlier.''

''We could have, but better late than never, right?'' Ed soothingly rubbed Oswald's back. ''I don't know if you'll believe me or not when I'll say that, but I love you.''

Oswald squeezed Ed tighter. ''I believe you. I love you too,'' reluctanly he untangled himself from Ed's arms and wiped his tears trying not to smudge mascara. ''I believe that's enough talking about it for today. Look at us, we're both crying,'' Oswald tried to chuckle.

''If you say so. Now, if you don't me changing the subject, I have my suspicions about Barbara.''

''You do?'' Oswald sniffed.

''I think that she's working with Foxy. You see, I talked to him when I was lonely and often I talked about us.''

''You could talk to him, but you didn't want to talk to me. Oh, Eddie, you really have troubles with people skill,'' Oswald shook his head.

''I had to talk to somebody or I would go crazy!''

''That's alright. I talked to Barbara. She often visits me in my office.''

''We talked about our marriage to our witnesses, isn't that funny? Anyway,'' Ed went on. ''He called me last Thursday and asked how things were going between us. I had told him we met several times,'' he swallowed.

''Well, it's true Barbara kept asking me if I met you and stuff like that, but I doubt she worked with Lucius. She tells me all the time I should dump you,'' Oswald smiled.

''That witch! I'll have to talk to her, she's giving you wrong ideas,'' Ed cursed.

''Better not. We don't want Gordon going after us for hurting the mother of his daughter.''

''That's irrelevant now, but look, she might be acting. Or she's not, but Foxy had convinced her it would be better if they cooperated. So he gave her my address for you to receive. They are plotting behind our backs!''

''Oh yeah, behold the revenge of witnesses!'' Oswald mocked. ''What they are trying to achieve? What would they get from that?''

''I don't know, but I can prove it, trust me.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Lucius being nice to Ed*  
> Ed: Why would you do that?  
> Lucius: I don't know, maybe I'm being friendly?  
> Ed: That's suspicious.
> 
> Ed: You didn't call me.  
> Oswald: You changed your phone number.  
> Ed: So what?
> 
> Oswald: You're avoiding the subject.  
> Ed: Because you're not listening to me and you're interrupting me.  
> Oswald: So what?


	10. Chapter 10

Thud of falling object that sounded like something wooden, most likely it was a chair, woke Lucius up. He jolted up, quickly comprehending what was going on – somebody broke into his house. Not unusual thing in Gotham. Carefully he got up, placing his next steps quietly. He walked to his wardrobe and took out baseball bat he kept behind the wardrobe. He left his bedroom holding the bat, he moved slowly looking around for the source of noise. He found it, or rather him, in his living room. He sighed heavily and all the stress left his body.

Lucius rubbed his forehead. ''You could've called instead of breaking in, Edward.''

''I'm sorry, I... I just...'' Ed's voice trembled just like his hands did.

''Nevermind,'' Lucius dropped the bat and grabbed Nygma by his shoulders. Ed's eyes were red and puffy, no doubt from crying. Something terrible must have happened to agitate Edward that much. Lucius wasn't sure what he should do. ''Do you need anything? Maybe I could brew you some tea?'' he offered.

That somehow managed to make Ed burst into tears. Ed was taking quick shallow breaths and covered his mouth with his hand. ''Oswald,'' Ed sniffed. ''He used to make me tea when I-I was sick or sad. He... he would. He won't again.''

Lucius stared at him wide eyed. There were several possibilities what had happened. One: Edward and Oswald had another fight and judging by Ed's behaviour it had to be pretty serious. Probably to the point Oswald told Ed not to come back ever again. Two: Oswald was injuried or dead. It would be the worst scenario. If Penguin had died when Ed tried to fix their marriage, it would have destroyed Ed completely. He'd become self-destructive like he had been after shooting Oswald. No, it would be much worse.

''Why don't you take a sit?'' Lucius asked gently.

Ed stiffly nodded and curled on the chair. His movements were so rigid like he was made of wood, save for his shaking hands. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

''I'll make you calming tea, alright?''

''No!'' Ed yelled and burst into tears again.

''Edward, I'm here for you. Tell me what's wrong,'' Lucius asked with heart pounding heavily in his chest.

''Oswald,'' Ed sniffed. ''Oswald...''

''Yes?'' at this point Lucius was expecting to hear the worst news.

''He said,'' Ed went on sobbing. Lucius told himself it couldn't be that bad if Penguin had said something. That meant he wasn't dead or wounded. Or maybe he was but before that he had said something. Thoughts of things that could have happened kept Lucius uneasy. ''It didn't work... Wha-Why can't he see I'm trying?''

So argument it was, Lucius thought with reasonable amount of relief. ''Oswald said your relationship didn't work?'' he asked mildly surprised.

''Y-yes,'' Ed swallowed. ''He said it would be better for both of us if we parted. I begged, but he wouldn't listen.''

''It's not the first time you're having quarrel. I'm sure he didn't mean it. He is hot-headed, he probably regrets his words now,'' Lucius reasoned. He could hardly believe Ed. The whole Gotham knew Penguin was head over heels for the Riddler. Sure, there were rumours that they got divorced, but Lucius knew men in question better than people who spread those lies.

''He meant it, I know it,'' Ed exhaled nervously. ''He was more crying than yelling at me.''

''But that guy loves you more than his own life!'' Lucius protested. ''And in your husband's case that's a lot.''

Hearing word 'husband' Ed started sobbing. ''He t-told me he loved me, so he had to let me go. And I,'' he sniffed. ''said I didn't want to leave. But he said he was holding me back and I deserved better and I'd be happier without him. But that's not true, I'll never be happy without him!''

''Give him few days and then try talking to him. He'll change his mind.''

''He won't,'' Ed shook his head. ''He said he'd contact his lawyer as soon as possible, so we could move past this,'' he made vague gesture with his hand. ''We'll getting divorced! Do you understand this, Foxy?!'' Ed wheezed tugging his hair. ''How could I fucked up so badly? How?'' Ed cried once more. ''Oswald's divorcing me...''

''The best you can do is to try talking him out of doing it. For sure he's crying now just like you.''

''Of course he is! Oswald's almost all the time crying!'' Ed snapped. ''He's damn emotional.''

''I bet he regrets his decision,'' Lucius tried again.

''He regrets our marriage,'' Ed curled even more.

''He realises the mistake he made and now he's thinking how to undo it,'' Lucius went on patiently.

''He knows how. Divorce!'' Ed cried.

''Edward!'' Lucius spoke loudly, but not quite screaming yet. ''I'm trying to help you. As much as I know Oswald he would never ever even think about divorcing you! That's so unlike him!''

''Looks like he were wrong,'' Ed muttered hiding his face in his hands.

''But I thought things between you were getting better!'' Lucius tried to understand. It didn't make any sense to him.

''So did I, but Oswald apparently got different impression.''

''Now you're going to tell me he has another guy,'' Lucius crossed his arms in disbelief.

''No,'' Ed sniffed. ''He told me I was the only love of his life and he'd never marry another.''

''Then what?'' Lucius protested.

''Hell if I knew!'' Ed yelled. ''I think he lost faith in us. He didn't say that, but I think he thinks it should stay as it was during this year. He doesn't want to see me.''

''You're not making any sense, Ed. Listen to yourself! He loves you, but doesn't want to see you? You said he had been rejoiced to see you after a year of separation.''

''I don't know,'' Ed said listlessly. ''I really hoped we'd set things right this time. I don't know,'' he wiped tears from his face. ''What am I supposed to do? I can't divorce him! I can't!''

''You need to talk. I can't give you better advise than that,'' Lucius looked at his feet. He didn't know how to help Ed. If there was one person that could change Penguin's mind, it was Edward.

''I'm sorry for the mess. I knocked a pot and a chair.''

Lucius waved his hand. ''It's Ok. You cause more trouble with your riddles.''

''My riddles are a piece of art that requires intellect for them to be fully comprehended,'' Ed said offended in quasi-pout way. ''People are just too stupid to see that. Anyway, you should close your windows more carefully.''

Lucius smiled slightly. ''I'll remember about that.'' He was surprised to find himself crushed by Ed's arms. He patted Ed's back.

''Thank you, Foxy. Really. I needed to talk to somebody,'' Ed sniffed and let Lucius out.

''No problem. Just call next time, alright? And don't worry too much about it. I'm sure you'll be back together.''

''I hope you're right,'' Ed sighed. ''Sorry again. I should be going,'' he headed towards open window that he had used to enter Lucius' home.

Lucius cleared his throat. ''You can use the front door.''

''How do I know you didn't call police?'' Ed asked cautiously.

''I didn't,'' Lucius rolled his eyes.

''Ok then, I'll take the front door,'' Ed moved slowly towards the corridor, but ran as soon as he left the living room. Lucius checked the time. Even though Ed woke him up before his usual waking hour, he was likely to be late. Well, he could use as excuse terrible traffic of Gotham.

Oswald made firm resolution to see Edward more often noticing that it bothered him they weren't meeting as often as Ed would like to. He liked that idea as well, he still hasn't recharged his batteries after the year spent apart. He was certain Ed wasn't trying to deceive or ridicule him. Around Edward Oswald felt more relaxed, peaceful and happy. They were already falling back into their old habits, but it wasn't any surprise to him – every time they had falled apart as soon as they had begun working together, they had been falling back to the old patterns. Usually it had scared Oswald, who had been expecting another betrayal or attack and letting anybody close had been a hazard at times like those, but now Oswald found consolation in their everyday rites. Thinking about this, he realised he should make a call. There was no profit from sitting and thinking about Ed, when he could spent this time with Ed. He took his phone and dialed Ed's number. After several seconds of waiting he heard good old ''please leave message beep''. Oswald sighed. His husband was impossible, he was crying that Oswald didn't want to see him, but when Oswald tried to contact him, he wasn't available. Oswald waited a minute and called again with pretty the same result. Well, Ed would have to wait if he wasn't answering. Meantime Oswald took care of paper work concerning the Iceberg Lounge. Maybe two hours later he called Ed, but once more was told to leave message. Losing his patience he grabbed his coat and waved at his driver.

He told his chauffeur to drive to Ed's place. During the travel he tried to call Edward once more, but he wasn't picking up. Oswald huffed irritated. He was trying to mend their relationship and Edward couldn't even pick the damn phone up! Sometimes this man was too much for Oswald's strained patience. When he reached the right address, he got out and entered the block of flats. He knocked at Ed's door, then rang the door bell.

''Edward, come out!'' Oswald called. ''I wanted to talk! Open up! Ed!'' he knocked with his cane. ''Are you at home? Why aren't you picking up? What have I done wrong this time?! Answer me!'' Oswald kicked the door.

Door opened, but two flats away and an elderly man walked out. ''Why are you always so loud?''

''Beg your pardon?'' Oswald narrowed his eyes at the man.

''Every time you come here, you shout. There are other people in this block, young man, and not everyone wants to hear about your problems!''

Oswald gaped at him. ''Every time?'' he asked shocked. That old fart didn't have any idea who he was talking to. After all this time citizens of Gotham should have learnt to respect him.

''Oh yes, every time!'' Old man nodded. ''I surely recognise your voice! I know who you're looking for. Your suitor left his flat maybe few hours ago.''

''Suitor?'' Oswald wrinkled his nose. This was getting ridiculous. The old man seemed to be one of those finding pleasure in spying on their neighbour and gossiping about them. He could be dangerous for Ed's safety. ''I don't know where you got that impression, but I'd advise you to keep your thoughts to yourself,'' Oswald came closer to the man.

''Ah,'' old man waved his hand not feeling endangered in the tiniest bit. ''I used to be like that when I was young and foolish,'' he pondered and a smile appeared on his face. He was probably recalling some warm memories. ''I remember wooing the woman of my life. Then we got married. I was one lucky fella, yes,'' then he became serious again. ''Which of course doesn't mean it's right thing to scream at the top your lungs so people on the tenth floor can hear you.''

''Well, if he's not here, I have nothing more to do here,'' Oswald tilted his head and leant on his cane.

Old man must have noticed that, as he couldn't restrain himself from commenting. ''Such a young man and using a cane! My my, I'm in my eighties and I don't need a cane.''

''Good for you,'' Oswald turned on his heel and walked away. He was done speaking with this nosy, talkative elder.

Oswald got back into the car. If Ed wasn't in his flat, he surely was in the Riddle Factory. _Gosh, what a ridiculous name_ , he rolled his eyes. Unless he went for groceries or Jim caught him. If he went shopping, he would have answered and if GCPD got him, somebody would notify him. No, he had to be in the Riddle Factory. He was probably busy with his show. Well, it was high time he visited the place again.

''To the Factory,'' Oswald ordered and his driver nodded.

When the car stopped, Oswald got out and walked towards the Riddle Factory. He was quite surprised that the place was so quiet – usually during Riddler's shows the audience was loud enough to hear without entering the building. Still, he payed little to none attention to that. Maybe Edward had hushed them or turned the place of his shows soundproof. He walked in through plain metal door that didn't give away what was awaiting behind them. It would be difficult to guess that this door was the entrance to Riddler's kingdom. Out of the two of them Edward was the more flamboyant one, but the Iceberg Lounge stood out more than the Riddle Factory.

Oswald looked around. The place was empty. ''Ed? Are you here?'' In this perfect silence Oswald's steps seemed to be incredibly loud. ''Hey! Edward!'' he huffed irritated and tried something that could lure Edward. ''Riddler!'' Still not getting any response, Oswald tried calling Ed again, but he didn't pick up. There was also no sound of mobile. Oswald kept walking. There was no Edward on the stage, so he went to the pathetic excuse of a backstage.

''Eddie!'' he called running to his husband. Edward lay on the floor, his glasses were broken and had fallen from his face. Oswald knelt next to him and started examinating him. Blood around Ed's mouth suggested that he took some beating. ''Ed?'' Oswald carefully shook him by his shoulders, but Ed remained unresponsive. Penguin took his phone and dialed his doctor. Then he gently ran his hand through Ed's hair and whispered softly. ''Oh, Eddie, Eddie, what did you get yourself into this time?''

Not having much to do, Oswald rummaged Ed's pockets. No wonder Ed hadn't answered his calls – his mobile was broken. He went on hoping to find some hint of what had happened and why, but then he heard mumble. He looked at his husband and smiled. Edward was awake and watching Oswald.

''What was that?'' Oswald teased.

''Tcha doin' 'ere?'' Ed coughed and curled wrapping his arms around his stomach.

''Well, I've tried to call you, but you weren't answering, so I went looking for you,'' Oswald explained. ''Did you know you have very nosy neighbours?'' Ed hissed trying to find comfortable position. ''Oh no, don't get up. Lie down,'' he instructed Ed and Ed obeyed. ''That's right. Now, easy there,'' Oswald stroke gently Ed's cheek. ''I called doctor,'' in response Ed grimaced and Oswald forced himself to laugh. ''No, not Lee Thompkins, you silly,'' Oswald rubbed carefully Ed's shoulder. ''What happened here? Hm? Who did that to you?''

''Later,'' Ed hissed.

''Ok, this can wait,'' Oswald agreed.

''Os, glasses,'' Ed asked.

''I'm afraid they are broken,'' Oswald said worried.

''Can't see well without 'em,'' Ed urged. Oswald sighed and put carefully glasses on Ed's nose.

''Better?'' Cobblepot buried his hand in Ed's hair.

''Yes, thank you.''

Oswald watched Ed clutching at this stomach. ''They kicked you in your stomach?'' he asked sadly.

''Yes,'' Ed shivered.

''What else? Did they hit you in your head?'' Oswald kissed softly his forehead. ''Do you have anything broken?''

''No,'' Ed coughed. ''Only stomach. I don't think I have any broken bones. Maybe ribs in the worst case.''

''That's still bad. Does it hurt much?'' Oswald tried to come up with some way of making Ed feel better.

''A bit,'' Ed grimaced and Oswald was sure it hurt more than Ed would admit.

''Why? What did they want from you?'' Oswald's voice went few pitches higher.

''Later,'' Ed begged.

''Right, sorry,'' Oswald pressed his mouth into thin line. ''I'm just worried about you. I don't know if they tried to kill you or what is going on at all!''

''They weren't,'' Ed reached out to take Oswald's hand into his own.

''What?'' Oswald blinked.

''They weren't trying to kill me,'' Ed sighed. His head was pouting and his stomach was radiating pain.

''I'm gonna kill them anyway,'' Oswald said angrily, to which Ed smiled. Oswald so attractive when he threatened other people.

''It's nice of you that you came,'' Ed leant into Oswald's touch. It was warm and soft and lessened his pain.

''I know you well enough to know when you get yourself into troubles,'' Oswald whispered kissing Ed's cheek.

''Mister Cobblepot!'' somebody called.

''Finally!'' Oswald huffed. ''Why did take you so long, Mister Clark?''

''My apologies, Mister Cobblepot! I got here as soon as I could. May I ask where are you?''

''We're at the backstage,'' Oswald ran his hand through Ed's hair.

''And how is Mister Nygma?'' the doctor asked.

''I'm awake,'' Ed said.

''He's awake,'' Oswald repeated louder.

''That's good!'' Mister Clark appeared in the doorway of the backstage.

''I'm not sure if I'm happy about it,'' Ed noted thinking about the pain.

The doctor smiled politely and walked towards Ed. ''Let's what we've got here,'' he pondered. ''Can you sit up or it causes too much pain?''

''I-I think I can,'' Ed hissed slowly raising his torso from the floor with Oswald's help.

''Alright, I'll check your head first, Ok?'' Mister Clark carefully touched Ed's head and watched it from various angles. ''Hmm,'' he murmured and took little flashlight from his pocket. He turned it on and pointed the light at Ed's left eye, then his right eye. Then he gently examinated the back of Ed's head. ''You don't have concussion.''

''Thanks God!'' Oswald exclaimed relieved.

''Where were you hurt?'' the doctor asked.

''My stomach.''

''Uh huh,'' the doctor nodded. ''Could you please roll up your shirt?''

Edward groaned and Oswald offered. ''I'll help you. Careful there,'' he helped Ed with his shirt. He hissed when he saw bruises on Ed's stomach.

''Whoever it was, they surely did number on you,'' Mister Clark eyed Ed's injury and Oswald glared at him angrily. ''It's going to hurt a bit,'' doctor warned and started touching Ed's stomach. Ed whined on the contact.

''Stop that!'' Oswald yelled. ''Can't you see it hurts him?''

''I can't examinate him without touching him,'' doctor explained.

''It's alright, Oswald,'' Ed assured, but he wasn't very convincing.

Mister Clark returned to doing his job and when he finished checking Ed's bruises, he opened his bag and took out stethoscope. He put earplugs into his ears and bell on Ed's chest. ''Breathe in,'' he ordered and Ed inhaled. ''And out,'' Ed exhaled. ''Uh huh, and again, in,'' Ed's chest rised. ''And out,'' and fell. ''And now please hold your breath,'' Mister Clark listened to Ed's heartbeat. ''Ok,'' he placed the bell on Ed's back. ''Breathe in,'' Ed complied. ''And out,'' Ed exhaled. ''And in,'' Ed breathed in. ''And out.'' Doctor took stethoscope out from his ears and his it in his bag. ''Alright. So, it looks that nothing is broken and nothing suffered from serious damage. I know it's painful, but you should be back in shape in a week, no, more likely two. The best I can prescibe you are painkillers and a lot of rest. You should limit your movements, but I don't think you will move that much seeing that it causes you great discomfort, Mister Nygma.''

''So, that's all?'' Oswald asked insecurily.

''Yes, I think so. You can go to hospital or some clinic if you want to make sure there's no serious damage done. I'd recommend doing that if Mister Nygma doesn't feel better in the next several days.''

''Thank you very much,'' Oswald put on his fake polite smile. ''You can go now, Mister Clark.''

''Of course. Goodbye, gentlemen,'' doctor bowed and left the room.

''See, Oswald? It's not something you should worry about,'' Ed tried to lift his husband's mood.

''I think it is. I've seen what they done to you!'' Oswald screeched.

''Ozzie, please, my head hurts,'' Ed reminded.

''Right, sorry,'' Oswald said in hushed voice. ''Can you try to stand up or we'll wait with that?''

''I'll get up.''

''Are you sure? We are in no hurry, Eddie,'' Oswald cupped Ed's face.

''There's no point in sitting here,'' Ed tried to lift himself up, but pain blinded him.

Oswald caught him, wrapping his arms firmly around Ed. ''It's alright. I've got you.'' Ed wheezed. ''And slowly we'll try to leave this place, fine?'' Ed bit his lips and nodded.


	11. Chapter 11

Edward was startled when he found out that by ''I'm going to take you home'' Oswald meant his mansion, but wasn't really in mood to question that. With driver's help Oswald led Ed to his old bedroom.

''As you were considerate enough to take all your clothes with you, you'd have to put on one of my pajamas,'' Oswald helped Ed sit down on the bed.

''Can't I just stay in my clothes?'' Ed curled.

''No way! Look how dirty you are,'' Oswald brushed Ed's shoulder. ''Wait here for a minute, I'll get you clothes,'' Ed whined and lay down. ''Great, you're gonna mess sheets,'' Oswald rolled his eyes. ''It won't take long, just stay here, Ok?''

''I don't feel like going anywhere,'' Ed noted.

''Well, knowing you,'' Oswald's lips curled up and he spared Ed one more look before leaving the room.

Ed wished he was unconscious, his stomach hurt like it was punishment for all of his bad deeds. He'd prefer being tortured by Sofia Falcone again rather than that. He tried to find some comfort in fluffy pillow, but it didn't make him feel any better. In other circumstances he'd feel flattered that Oswald was fretting about him and took him to the manor, but his mind was too occupied with the pain to pay any attention to that.

After a while, Ed didn't know how much time has passed, Oswald returned with a tray in his hands. The contents on the tray were quite unconventional when put together – a cup of tea and a box of pills could be found on trays, but pajamas and a book lying next to them could be quite surprising. Oswald put the tray on the night stand.

''Come on, Eddie. You need to sit up,'' he said softly and helped Ed. When Ed managed to reach sitting position, Oswald grabbed a box of pills and spilled two on his hand. He gave them to Edward. ''Take these,'' he instructed and Ed swallowed them. Then Oswald carefully took a cup of tea and blew at it. ''Now easy, it's still pretty hot,'' he put the cup to Ed's mouth and Ed slowly sipped. Then Oswald put the cup down on the tray.

''Thanks,'' Ed gave Oswald half-hearted smile. He didn't want to seem ungrateful for grateful he was, but pain made it hard to do anything more than lie down and whine about the pain of existence.

''We're not finished yet,'' Oswald said. ''You need to take your clothes off. I'll help you,'' he began taking Ed's jacket off to which Ed tried to move away from Oswald. Penguin laughed silently. ''Oh, Eddie, there's no reason to be shy. I'm not telling you take off your underwear and if I did, well, I've seen you as Mother Nature had made you,'' malicious smirk appeared on his face.

''Very funny, Oswald,'' Ed muttered unbuttoning his vest.

''Hey, I'm just stating the truth,'' Oswald shrugged pretty pleased with himself and bowed to Ed's feet. The he started unlacing his left shoe. ''Up,'' he asked and Ed raised his left foot. Then Oswald took off the shoe and moved to right one. ''Don't give me that look,'' Oswald shook his head and Ed sighed. ''Up,'' Oswald repeated and took off right shoe. ''Socks need to go as well.''

''You won't leave me alone until it's done your way?'' Ed hissed trying to take off his vest.

''Wait, let me do this,'' Oswald rose to his feet and slid vest down Ed's arms until Ed was freed from it. ''It's unhygienic to lie in bed in socks.''

''You can mislead others, but I know you, Oswald. You can be quite a slob,'' Ed said with some more ease. Painkillers slowly started working. Still, unbuttoning his shirt caused him discomfort.

''Me, a slob? Never!'' Oswald protested getting back to Ed's feet.

''You are, and a snob too!'' Oswald must have seen wrongly, because there was no possibility that Ed had sticked out his tongue at him.

''If you're so smart, undress by yourself!'' Oswald threw a sock at Ed's face.

''Uh,'' Ed grimaced. ''You might be right about my socks. They need washing.''

''I told you, but you wouldn't listen,'' Oswald took off the other sock. ''Because the great Riddler knows better, even if he can't smell his own feet,'' he mocked.

''I'm gonna kick you,'' Ed warned.

''Well, then maybe you don't need my help and you're much better than you seem to be,'' Oswald stood up and crossed his arms watching Ed battle with his shirt.

''I,'' Ed grumbled.

''Yes, honey?'' Oswald pattered impatiently.

''I think I need help,'' Ed sighed in defeat.

''No shit, Sherlock,'' Oswald took a step towards his husband. As much as he found it pleasant, he wouldn't embarrass Ed any further. He took Ed's shirt and helped him with sleeves. ''Now, only tank and trousers left.'' Ed reluctantly undid his belt, then the button and zip, but didn't comment. ''I'm sorry, Eddie, but I need you to stand up,'' gently as he could, Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed and helped him rise to his feet. Trousers slid down Ed's legs and Ed slowly sat down back. Oswald took them off from Ed's ankles. Nygma felt stupid sitting in front of his husband only in tank and boxers. Oswald hasn't seen him like that in more than a year. On the other hand, Ed had seen Oswald naked not that long ago, but he'd prefer to forget about that event. Mere thought of Oswald's sickly blue lips made his body shiver. Oswald misunderstood Ed's behaviour and said in worried voice. ''Just a moment and you'll put on pajamas. Are you cold?'' he ran his hands up and down Ed's own in an attempt to warm him up.

''No, I'm good.''

''Can try to raise your arms up?'' Oswald asked and Ed complied with a hiss. Mindful of Ed's injuries he lifted his tank up and through his head. ''There you go,'' he smiled encouragingly, but his smile faltered when his eyes fell on bruises on Ed's stomach. He grabbed pajamas from night stand and put trousers down on the floor. ''It's gonna be too short, sorry about it,'' he began putting the upper part on Ed's right arm.

''It's alright. Mine are too big for you. You looked quite cute in my pajamas,'' Ed smirked at the memory of the time they had spent at Grundy Street.

''Don't tell that anyone,'' Oswald said in a mock-threatening way. ''I will lose my reputation.''

''Why? It suits you. Penguins are cute and deadly,'' Ed positioned his left arm for Oswald to put the sleeve of pajamas on it. Oswald rolled his eyes, but it was clear he was rather fond of Ed's antics. When Oswald was done, Ed began buttoning the shirt. ''I guess I'll have to stand up again soon?'' he didn't even try to hide his dislike of the idea.

''Smart as always you are, my dear,'' Oswald brushed Ed's cheek with his knuckles. Then he knelt again and began putting trousers on Ed's legs. ''Ok, you can stand up now,'' he held Ed with one arm and with the other he pulled trousers up.

''Finally,'' Ed sighed relieved when his butt hit the bed.

''Drink some more tea,'' Oswald handed him the cup. ''It should be colder now.''

Ed nodded and took several gulps. ''I missed your tea,'' he confessed. ''You make the best tea.''

''My mother used to make tea like that,'' Oswald recalled fondly yet melancholically. Ed gave the cup back to Oswald, who put it back on the tray. ''One more thing,'' he said. ''Could you get comforter out from under your butt?'' Ed stood maybe few centimeters up and Oswald removed the comforter from the part of bed occupied by Ed. ''Alright, Ed. You can lie down now.''

Ed lied back with a loud _uff!_ and Oswald scolded him to be more careful. Then he tucked him in.

''Try to get some rest, alright?'' Oswald caressed his face and took off his glasses of his face.

''I'll try,'' Ed leant into touch. ''Thank you, Oswald.''

''Don't speak a word of it,'' Oswald waved his hand. ''You won't mind if I stay here for a while?'' he didn't wait for Ed to respond and grabbed the book he brought on the tray.

After some time spent in silence interrupted only by the sound of pages being turned, Oswald looked up from behind his book. ''You're asleep already?''

''No,'' Ed grumbled.

''And how are you feeling?''

''Kinda confused and tired. But it hurts less.''

''With some luck you'll fall asleep eventually. Do you need anything more to drink?''

''No,'' Ed sighed.

Oswald nodded and returned to his book. ''So, what did happen there?'' he asked casually.

''Later,'' Ed rolled on his back with a hiss.

''We're gonna talk about it at some point, you know,'' Oswald licked his index finger and turned page.

''Umhm,'' Ed grumbled.

''Do you want me to read to you for goodnight, perhaps?'' Oswald teased.

''No, thanks,'' Ed muttered into pillow.

Ed opened his eyes to light which caused pain in his forehead. He squinted. Where was he? A moment of running his eyes around the room and he knew – he was in his old bedroom in the manor. Events of that day came back to him.

Oswald must've had noticed Ed's awakening, as he greeted him with a smile that edged on mocking. ''Well, hello there,''

''Os...?'' Ed narrowed his eyes at his husband and coughed to clear his throat. ''How long have you been sitting here?'' He put the book down on his laps.

''I think one and half of an hour since you had fallen asleep?'' Oswald pondered. ''Your nap wasn't the longest, but that's always something.''

''You didn't have to stay here,'' Ed eyed him.

''I know, but I wanted to,'' Oswald shrugged. ''I feel better knowing you're not getting worse,'' he handed Ed his broken pair of glasses. He had already asked for several spares, just in case, but they haven't arrived yet. ''So... What. Happened. There?'' he spoke harshly.

''You're not going to let it go, are you?'' Ed put on his glasses.

''You know damn well I'm not. I need to know whose head I'm about to rip off!''

Ed sighed with heavy exhale. ''It was Big Stevie's Gang,'' he turned his head to face Oswald.

''Big Stevie's?!'' Oswald shrieked in a mixture of shock, disbelief, anger and maybe a pint of amusement.

''I know you find it surprising, but they are pretty big fish in Narrows.''

''Well, penguins eat fish,'' Oswald shrugged with a sly smirk repeating Ed's own words.

''That they do,'' Ed smiled at the memory.

''But what they wanted from you? Why would they, some Narrows gang, assaulted you, the Riddler, a criminal mastermind known and feared in all of Gotham?'' Oswald's description of Ed's carreer made wonders for his already big ego. ''They are out of our league!''

''Well...'' Ed said reluctantly and looked pretty embarrassed. ''I might have this tiny, itsy-bitsy,'' Ed showed with putting his thumb and index finger millimeters apart from each other. ''Debt?''

''And having superior intellect you decided not to pay it back thinking you would outsmart them,'' Oswald finished for him with a long suffering sigh to show just how much he was disappointed in Ed. He had surely taught Ed better, right? ''But they got angry with you and decided to show their arguments for returning money to them. If I were them I'd do that too, unless I'd decided I'd rather get rid of the unfortunate debitor. You shouldn't be surprised. You kinda got what you deserved,'' he tilted his head from side to side.

''Ha, ha, having good laugh, Oswald?'' Ed grimaced.

''Of course not, you idiot!'' Oswald yelled at him. ''You could've got killed!''

''Look, I needed money. Like, really needed, right here, right now. I hit a low!'' Ed moved his arms rapidly having forgotten it would cause him pain. ''Why would I attempt to commit a heist thrice and not leave any signs it was me otherwise?! None of that was supposed to be connected to the Riddler! Robberies happen in Gotham every day! Yet somehow every time they knew I would attack!'' Ed was shouting his anger out. ''It was just wild luck they never caught me or didn't get any incriminating evidence in that case! It wasn't like I could ask you for help,'' he waved his hand at Oswald. ''How would it make me look if I came back asking for money?'' he huffed.

Oswald felt a pang of guilt. He could have prevented that. He could have chosen to intervene when there was still time for that and instead he decided to brush off the topic. ''I'm sorry,'' he gaped. ''I-I didn't know. Gosh, I'm so stupid!'' he facepalmed. ''I should have known something was off when I heard about your unsuccessful heists! And after that you went quiet for some time. God!'' he groaned.

''And what would you have done, hm?'' Ed raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

''Something! I don't know! Anything!'' Oswald moved his arms frantically.

''After I had left you?'' Ed said angrily, but he didn't want to accuse his other half. The accusatory tone was pointed at himself.

''Yes!'' Oswald grabbed hastily Ed's hands in his own. ''I don't want you to get harmed!''

''I'm an adult, Oswald, and I need to learn to face consequences of my actions. It's like you said, anyway, I got what I deserved.''

''I didn't mean it that way!'' Oswald protested. ''What I meant is that you acted dumb like some kind of novice and you are a professional, Edward.''

''I did act dumb! Not only letting Big Stevie's Gang beat me, but also, and the most importantly, cheating on you and leaving you,'' Ed sulked.

''Well, you might have a point here,'' Oswald cocked his head. He couldn't contain smirk from appearing on his face. ''But even then I won't anyone treat you like that!''

''I can't always rely on you, Oswald. Nobody will respect me if I do. They will see the Riddler as Penguin's lapdog. Ridiculous, funny, pathetic, yes, but not menacing, serious,'' Ed shook his head.

''Don't you remember? ''We will take what we want from who we want and we will suffer no fools'','' Oswald reminded oath they made at the end of chaos Joker had 'bestowed' upon Gotham. '' _We_ , Edward. We work together, you and me. I rely on you as much as you rely on me. That's to your cunning you have discovered at least ten plots against my life or position before I had foreseen them. Does this make Penguin Riddler's lapdog?''

''Seven, not ten,'' Ed pointed out.

''Whatever,'' Oswald rolled his eyes. ''You're missing the point. We are partners, equals. I know if it was me getting my ass kicked, you'd be electrocuting or guillotining them right now.''

Ed chuckled and kissed Oswald's hand. ''I would with great pleasure.''

''Did they set the date when you pay your debt back?''

''They gave me a week.''

''Hm,'' Oswald licked his teeth. ''To be honest, I hoped for some longer term considering your health, but we should be able to prepare something for them for that day.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really like to read some comments! :) I don't bite, I promise.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed's time at the manor.

Oswald didn't want to hear any protests when Ed suggested that while it was nice to spend some time with him in the manor (even if Ed had spent most of that day asleep and on painkillers), he probably should be going home. Penguin said it was absolutely out of question and for Ed's own safety he should have stayed with him. In the manor Oswald could help Ed if needed and in Ed's flat Ed would be on his own, which wasn't great idea considering Ed's state. And so Ed spent his first night in the mansion after running away.

It was odd in some way. Sure, Ed had taken a nap in their bed with Oswald by his side only a few weeks earlier, but it felt different. It felt somewhat domestic. One of them buried in comforters and the other fussing over him; they had went through this scenario whenever one of them had been sick.

The next day Ed was greeted by the view of Oswald carrying his breakfast. He brought him a toast and a cup of coffee. ''How are you feeling today?'' he asked with a warm smile.

''I've definitely felt better, but thanks for asking,'' Ed grimaced lifting himself to a sitting position.

''That's understandable,'' Oswald put the breakfast on the night stand. ''Take painkillers.''

''No, they make me dull,'' Ed grabbed the plate and bit the toast.

''Don't be a baby and take them!'' Oswald scoffed. ''Your mind doesn't need to be at its best right now. What you do need now is rest.''

Ed swallowed. ''I need to be! We still don't have a plan what we're going to do with Big Stevie's gang.''

''Ed,'' Oswald sighed. ''This can wait.''

''They gave me a week! We shouldn't waste any time.''

''Eddie, we could come up with some plan five minutes before meeting if it was needed. We'll figure something out. And your brain will benefit from you not being in constant pain,'' Oswald raised an eyebrow trying to convince his other half.

''Alright, alright,'' Ed raised his hands in a mock-surrender. ''Just let me finish,'' he waved with the toast.

To occupy his mind with something, Ed was reading when he wasn't sleeping. He was pretty surprised when Oswald marched into his room. ''Shouldn't you be in your office?'' he eyed him warily.

''So you're not asleep,'' Oswald put his hand on his hips. ''I took a day off,'' he shrugged.

''That doesn't happen often,'' Ed noted.

''Well, somebody has to look after you. I know how much you dislike Olga, so I'm not leaving you alone with her,'' Oswald sat at the edge of the bed.

''Great,'' Ed huffed and slammed the book closed. ''When I tell you you should have taken a day off to make sure you were fine, you ignore that. But when it's me, you just leave everything behind.''

''Do you mind, actually?''

''Yes, I do!'' Ed hit his left palm with the dorsal side of his right hand.

''If I went to my office, would that make you happy?'' Oswald tilted his head.

''That's not the point!'' Ed protested. ''You're not taking care of yourself!''

Oswald just spread his arms hopelessly. ''We've already talked about it, Ed. I'm fine, don't worry about me.''

''Why shouldn't I?''

''Because I'm fine and you're the one who needs to be taken care of,'' Oswald jabbed Ed's stomach to make a point. Ed hissed when he was touched.

''You know that hurts!'' Ed accused.

''Exactly,'' Oswald's eyes clearly spoke 'Don't argue with me'.

''You make always everything so difficult,'' Ed crossed his arms fully offended.

''The pleasure is all mine,'' Oswald said with a shameless smirk. Ed knew his husband had an upper hand and he hated to admit his defeat, but he couldn't win this one. What Ed could do? Go back to his flat? In this state it would take him at least half a day.

In the evening Edward got anxious when he heard water running in the bathroom. On the previous day it hadn't been a problem as Ed had falled asleep earlier. But now Ed was lying in the bed that once was his and staring at the ceiling. He knew the feeling was senseless as Oswald had promised and assured him that what had happened that fateful day would never happen again. He believed Oswald, he had seen no lie in his words when Penguin had spoken them. Still, he felt fear creeping on him like a shadow. What if Oswald would never walk out that bathroom again? If Ed wouldn't be able to help him this time? At the same time he didn't want to burden Oswald with his fears. If he called him, he surely would come to him asking what was the problem. How would he explain? He would only embarrass himself. So Edward waited with his heart pouding heavily. He waited and waited until he heard the door open and wet steps being placed. He sighed relieved. Of course he was stupid to panic over such a common thing as somebody taking a bath. Oswald walked into Ed's room.

''You washed your hair,'' Ed pointed out.

''I will not walk around with greasy hair,'' Oswald smiled.

''Of course you will not,'' Ed shook his head and felt laugh bubbling in his chest.

''Do you need anything before I go to sleep?''

''No, I'm good,'' Ed assured.

''If you change your mind, call me.''

''I'll remember about that,'' Ed bit his lip. ''Good night, Ozzie.''

''Night, Eddie,'' Oswald quietly left the room.

On the third day of their unexpected and kind of forced cohabitation it was clear they were getting on each other's nerves. Ed left his bedroom and walked down the corridor leaning against the wall when there was such a need. Of course Oswald spotted him.

''Oh lookie who's walking! It's obvious to me that you're perfectly well, Edward,'' Oswald mocked.

''What, am I not even allowed to go the bathroom by myself?'' Ed scoffed.

''You could've asked me for help,'' Oswald argued.

''I'm not a five-year-old, Oswald. You don't need to monitor my every step,'' Ed pretended to be pensive. ''Oh, right! How could I have forgotten?'' he spoke with generous amount of venom in his voice. ''You have nothing better to do! Because suddenly you've decided to take holidays. Or maybe I am wrong and you're getting ready for the Lounge?''

''I can't see what is wrong with that,'' Oswald spoke sourly.

''Don't worry, I'll explain that to you,'' Ed straightened his back as much as his stomach let him. ''You wouldn't leave me alone before I told you about Big Stevie's boys assault, but every time I try to get out of you what exactly had happened in the bathroom, you change the subject or go away.''

''You see, this two cases are different – I can and have assured you that I won't happen again. Can you do the same?'' Oswald dared him. ''No! Big Stevie problem isn't resolved just yet.''

''Look, I see that you're worried about me, but I'm worried about you just the same. What makes you so sure you're safe?'' Ed was in two minds about this matter. He desperately wanted to know for sure what had happened, but at the same time was almost certain that it had been Oswald's doing and he didn't want to hear Oswald confessing he had tried to commit suicide. It would be hard truth to swallow. He was afraid how he would react to Oswald's words.

''Don't you believe me? Do you think I'm intentionally lying to you?'' Oswald's voice went few pitches higher.

''No! I know you're not lying to me.''

''Then what?'' Oswald crossed his arms.

''You think you are safe. You are sure of that, but what if you're wrong? If you tell me what had happened, I can assess the danger.''

''Edward, you know I'm not the one to be careless about my life,'' Ed rolled his eyes to show Oswald what he thinks about that. ''If I were, I wouldn't be where I am now. If you believe that I'm not lying to you, believe that I made sure I was in no danger.''

''So you can ask me about my injuries, but I can't receive such an information from you? That's not fair, Oswald!''

''Life's not fair, you have surely noticed by now,'' Oswald stood proudly.

''How can you brush off this matter so easily?! You nearly drowned! Do you know how slim chances were I would be there to save you?! I could have not come at all,'' Ed started counting on his fingers. ''I could have decided to let it go when nobody answered at the gate. Climbing through the fence could have taken me more time. I could have turned my back when nobody opened the door. Speaking of which – you didn't change the lock,'' he recalled. ''Why?''

''Maybe because I hoped you would come back one day? I don't know?'' Oswald shrugged theatrically.

''I could have resigned when I saw empty mansion,'' Ed went on. ''Or come to the conclusion you were at the Iceberg or somewhere else. What were the chances that I would walk into the bathroom and wouldn't be too late? To sum up, logically speaking, you should be dead. And my last words to you would be ''Get out, I don't want to see you'','' Ed's voice trembled a little.

''Fate still has other plans for me and for us, it seems.''

''That's all you've got to say? To be honest, I fail to believe it was an accident,'' Ed said angrily, but his it felt wrong to speak those words. He felt he said too much and felt ashamed like he shared a secret with person he was not supposed to. But what is done is done, no backing off.

Oswald gaped scandalised. He didn't want to admit being the one behind that event, he didn't want to make Ed feel even more guilty, especially that he didn't blame Ed for his own decision. But the fact that Edward kept asking about the subject made him angry and when he was angry he had problems keeping his mouth shut when he should. He inhaled sharply. ''It's not going to happen again and I'm not in danger. That's all I've got to say about that and I will not talk about it again. Do you understand me? But you know what? You are right, going to the Iceberg will make me feel better. Enjoy your time with Olga,'' Oswald turned on his heels.

''Oh yeah, because everything always has to be your way! Oswald Cobblepot makes no mistakes! Things will be the way you'd like them to be or not at all! That's your vision of perfect world. You told me I couldn't pretend that nothing had happened. Neither can you!'' Ed yelled.

Oswald scoffed and went down the stairs. He might have been offensive, but that was his way of defense.

Ed didn't see Oswald for the rest of that day.

Next day Oswald also left for his office. Ed caused him too much headache. He should be happy to spend so much time with his husband, but Edward made it truly difficult at times. Maybe they weren't ready to spend that much time together yet. Maybe they had to get used to each other's presence in their lifes. Keeping their distance for several hours a day should do them some good. Which didn't mean Oswald could afford the peace of his mind at work. His employees could be quite troublesome.

So could be Barbara, who waltzed into his office. ''Oswald, what is the meaning of it?'' she asked harshly.

''Hello to you as well, Miss Kean,'' he greeted her without even bothering to look at her. ''I'm afraid I have no idea what are you talking about. Could you please elaborate?''

''Oh, you can pretend to be ignorant as much as you like to the others, but don't play this game with me,'' she slammed her hands on his desk.

Oswald finally made eye contact with her. ''This time I'm honest, Barbara.''

''So you don't happen to know anything about Nygma's sudden disappearance?''

_Oh, so that is what Barbara is after_ , he thought and smirked to himself. It couldn't hurt to examinate Barbara some more. ''I don't know why would it bother you. He's my husband,'' he rested his head on his hands.

''For now,'' hearing that Oswald tried not to give away his shock to Barbara. ''I've heard you've finally made a decision to divorce him.''

''Where did you hear that?'' he raised his eyebrow mildly annoyed.

''I've got my source,'' she checked her nails.

''Huh, who could have guessed?'' Oswald mocked her. ''I only don't know why would you come to me to talk about that matter? I have some troubles guessing whether you are content about what you've heard or not. You should be, but you don't seem to be. Haven't you encouraged me to divorce Ed?''

''I've never thought you'd actually listen to me,'' she crossed her legs.

''Ok, this is getting really confusing. Was I supposed to listen to you or not, according to you?'' he narrowed his eyes.

''Does my opinion suddenly matter to you?''

Oswald laughed loudly. This was ridiculous. ''Ah, I see now. You wanted to convince me to rekindle my relationship with Ed by teasing me. I was supposed to do the opposite thing to what you were suggesting, because I'd like to get on your nerves,'' he clapped. ''That's really good one, Barbara!''

''I've also heard your-soon-not-to-be husband had reacted very badly to your decision. And now he's disappeared. Don't you see any connection?'' she leant over his desk.

_Only if she knew where to Ed has disappeared!_ Oswald kept laughing. ''Well, I didn't hurt him if you're asking about it. Do you think Edward had hurt himself?'' In other situation he'd be truly worried about Ed's whereabouts if he heard that kind of suggestion, but the knowledge Ed was in the manor made it very funny.

''You know he has self-destructive episodes when he's distressed,'' Barbara noted.

''We all do,'' Oswald shrugged. ''But that's so nice of you to worry about him,'' he said with candy-like smile. But one could be sure as hell that the sugar the candy was made from was poisoned.

''I'm doing that for your sake, Pengy, but I can see you're not taking it seriously. Don't blame yourself too much when he ends up in Arkham, blows himself up or you'll find him in morgue, alright?'' she spoke with equally sweet and poisonous smile. ''Don't lose your mind when it happens, Ozzie. And don't say I didn't warn you.''

''Thank you, Barbara. I'll remember your wise advice.''

Oswald came back to find Ed lying on the couch in the living room. ''Good evening, Eddie dearest. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. Guess what happened in my office?'' he crossed his arms.

''Good evening, Oswald. I'm feeling much better, thanks for your concern,'' Ed saw on Oswald's face impatience. What did he want from Ed this time? ''Big Stevie's paid you a visit?''

''I thought the Riddler would have guessed. No, Barbara came,'' Oswald was getting more annoyed.

''So what? From what you've said I gathered she comes quite often,'' Ed shrugged.

''But she usually doesn't accuse me of having intent to divorce you! I have a feeling you have something to do with that. Am I wrong?''

''I knew it!'' Ed exclaimed like he had just learnt of his victory. ''I told you! Now we have a proof!''

''A proof of what?'' Oswald squawked.

''Foxy and Barbara work together!'' Ed clapped joyfully and Oswald stared at him confused. ''I told Foxy you were about to divorce me,'' he explained.

''What?! Why would you do that?!'' Oswald screeched.

''To prove my theory,'' Ed spoke calmly.

''And you didn't tell me?!''

''I told that only Foxy. This way no one else could have shared this information with Barbara, ergo they work together. To make sure he took the bait I made it look very convincing,'' he preened.

''So I've heard,'' Oswald huffed. ''Do you know how you made me look? Barbara told me that if anything happened to you, I would be my fault.''

''She's wrong. It's not your fault I got kicked by Big Stevie's guys.''

Oswald sat next to Ed. ''When did you tell him?''

''A day before I was attacked.''

''Why did you tell him I wanted to divorce you after we had discussion that none of us wanted that to happen?''

''He didn't know about that,'' Ed grinned.

''Ugh,'' Oswald sighed. ''You made me look bad!''

''I made you look as good as I could, I swear,'' Ed put his hand on his chest.

''I don't care!'' Oswald spat. ''Call him and tell him it was all misunderstanding!'' he demanded.

Then it him Ed like a rock that since he got to the mansion, he hasn't seen his mobile. ''Oswald, where's my phone?''

''I threw it away, it was broken.''

''SIM card could have been retrievable!'' Edward cried.

''How was I supposed to know? Unlike some of us, I'm not a nerd!'' Oswald stated defensively.

''That isn't even complicated,'' Ed whined.

''Calm down, I'll get you a new mobile,'' Oswald tilted his head backwards.

''Give me your phone,'' Ed urged.

''What for?'' Oswald looked at him cautiously.

''Do you want me to call Foxy?'' Ed raised an eyebrow. ''Then give me your phone.''

''Uh, alright,'' Oswald took his cellphone from a pocket and handed it to Ed. Ed entered Lucius' number into the mobile and pressed the green button.

''Hellllo, Foxy,'' Ed sang when he heard his call being picked up. Oswald rolled his eyes at Ed's childish antics.

''Edward?'' Lucius greeted him startled. ''I've tried to call you, but you weren't answering.''

''Heh, where from do I know this feeling?'' Oswald chuckled and Ed's eyes asked him to be quiet. ''Oh, fine,'' he muttered with long sigh.

''My phone is broken and SOMEBODY threw it away,'' Ed glared at Oswald, who helplessly raised his arms in self-defence and mouthed 'I'm sorry, I didn't know'.

''I wanted to visit you, but you weren't in your flat. No one has also seen you in the Riddle Factory in the last few days. Is everything alright?''

''Oh, yes, everything's absolutely peachy,'' Ed said smoothly.

''Where are you then if I may ask?''

''Well, I'm,'' Ed turned his face towards Oswald looking for some help or maybe permission to tell where he was staying. Oswald seemed to get the cue and nodded. ''I'm at the manor right now.''

''Penguin's manor?'' Lucius asked mildly surprised.

''Yes! In what other manor could I have been?'' Ed pointed out annoyed. Oswald snorted and Ed snapped at him. ''What?'' Oswald raised his eyebrows and waved his hand, his gesture telling Ed to elaborate on the subject.

''Well, let me guess-'' Lucius spoke, but Ed interrupted him.

''The whole thing has been just a misunderstanding,'' Ed looked at his husband who didn't seem to be satisfied with his response. ''He never wanted to divorce me,'' Ed tried again and Oswald nodded that it was better.

''I told you so,'' Lucius said warmly.

''But I'd be grateful if you kept what I had said to you in secret,'' Ed remarked. ''Oswald told me Barbara had made quite a scene.''

''Alright, you caught me red-handed,'' Lucius said apologetically. ''Anyway, is Oswald at home?''

Penguin nodded and Ed answered. ''Yes.''

''May I talk with him?'' hearing that Oswald reached out his hand in Ed's direction, but Ed prefered to pretend he wasn't sitting right next to him and called his name. Penguin shook his head in amusement, but decided to play along.

''Right, right, I'm coming. What's going on?''

''Foxy's calling,'' Ed grinned.

Oswald took the phone. ''Yes, Mister Fox?''

''Good evening. I just wanted to ask how Edward is doing.''

Oswald eyed Ed's body from toes to his head. ''Rather good, I guess. But I'd suggest asking him, not me.''

''Well, he's been behaving weird recently, so I figured I could ask somebody else just to make sure.''

''That's so nice of you, Mister Fox,'' Oswald said with his usual mean voice. Ed decided it was the right moment to rub his foot against Oswald's thigh. ''Ed!'' Oswald exclaimed scandalised. ''My apologies, it's just Edward behaving weird,'' he explained more calmly and Ed pouted.

Lucius seemed to get some ideas of what Nygma could have been doing, so he said politely. ''I see. Well, I shouldn't bother both of you any longer. Could you just ask Edward to send me his new number when he gets one?''

''Sure, I'll tell him. Thank you, Mister Fox,'' Oswald hung up.

''Done!'' Ed said gleefully.

''Not yet. I'll call Barbara, so she stops telling me off for things I haven't done.''

''Ozzie, I'm bored,'' Ed purred.

''Then find something better to do. Read a book or solve some riddles. It's your fault, anyway.''

''You're no fun,'' Ed crossed his arms.

''And you haven't returned to your full health yet,'' Oswald reminded.

''I'm feeling much better!''

''I'm happy about that. Really, I am,'' Oswald squeezed Ed's shoulder affectionately. ''But you shouldn't strain your body.''

Ed sat up only to fall down on Oswald's laps. ''I'm not straining anything, see? I'm resting,'' he said with smug smile.

Oswald exhaled loudly. ''Let's say you won this one.''

''Yesss.''

Smile flickered in Oswald's eyes, but didn't reach his lips. He dialed Barbara's number.

''Oh, hi there, Ozzie,'' she greeted.

''Barbara.''

''So what brings you to call me at this hour?'' she asked curiously.

''Ed,'' Oswald patted Ed's hair as he said that and Ed leant into the touch.

''Have you found him?''

''I have,'' Oswald said calmly, while Ed's hand stroke gently his face.

''Where is he then?'' she queried.

''Right now?'' Oswald grinned, he liked how this one was playing out. Ed laughed and Oswald put finger to his lips telling him not to give away the twist just yet.

''Yes, if you know that.''

''Right now he's lying on my laps,'' Oswald burst with laughter.

''No way!'' she said in disbelief.

''No, really, he is,'' Oswald said more seriously.

Ed took the cue and spoke loud enough for Barbara to hear. ''Hi, Barbara!'' he waved even though she couldn't see that.

''You stupid little flightless bird! Why haven't you told me earlier?'' her voice went higher.

''It was just too funny,'' Oswald smiled mischievously. ''I only wish I could see your face now!''

''I'd like to see that too,'' Ed smirked.

''How long has this been going on?'' she asked angrily not liking being mocked like that.

''Ed?'' Oswald asked for help.

''Well, it depends on what do you mean by 'this','' Ed noted. ''I've been staying at the manor for four days.''

''Have you two been playing with me?!'' she accused.

''No, but I'd suggest getting some more reliable source of information,'' Oswald sneered.

''I'm done talking with you,'' she hung up.

Both Edward and Oswald snorted and Oswald wiped his eyes. ''Alright, Ed, your plotting has been forgiven. I haven't had that good laugh in a long time.''

''You're welcome, my dear,'' Ed kissed his hand. Oswald smiled, leant forward and kissed Ed's forehead.

''I missed that,'' Oswald confessed, a shadow of sadness passed through his face.

''Me too,'' Ed shifted. ''Have I told you you make a very comfortable pillow?''

''Hm, maybe,'' Oswald's lips curled up. ''You've cleverly discovered our witnesses' scheme. So what now?''

''I don't know. We bask in their embarrassment?'' Ed shrugged.

''Sounds about right, but should we, though?'' Oswald pondered.

''Why shouldn't we?'' Ed traced some shape with his finger on Oswald's stomach.

''Stop, that tickles!'' Penguin laughed, which didn't stop Riddler at all. ''We're here now in a way thanks to them.''

''Do you think they sent Big Stevie's guys after me?'' Ed said with mock-shocked expression. ''Ouch!'' Oswald smacked his arm playfully.

''You know it's not what I meant. Lucius gave Barbara your address and she passed it to me, and so I could visit you.''

''And I made an utter fool of myself,'' Ed huffed.

''Not the first and not the last time, darling,'' Oswald noticed Ed was avoiding looking at him, so he changed his tone. ''But look, I didn't really think it through, either. We both made fools of ourselves.''

''Tomorrow is going to be a month since that day,'' Ed said somewhat listlessly. Next day would be a month since Oswald paid him a visit, which meant that one year and one month ago that day Ed had left. One month spent working towards fixing what he had broken. That work has already shown to be fruitful. Wasn't he lying on Oswald's laps after all?

One month, Oswald pondered. One month since he has got Edward back. Well, maybe he shouldn't count the day of his visit as the first one, but the next day was fair game, right? On the other hand, the day after Ed's thrown him out wasn't exactly the best date considering his completely senseless decision. Not to forget that he hasn't fully got Ed back yet, but they were surely heading in that direction. Ed's weight on his thighs reminded him of that. ''A month? How time flies!'' he chuckled.

''Well, time flies when spent in a good company,'' Ed smirked.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation with Big Stevie. Guest apprearance from Selina.
> 
> TW: Physical torture

''Good morning, Edward,'' Oswald yawned walking into dining room. ''I see there's no way I could convince you to stay in bed.''

''Good morning, Oswald,'' Ed said with a cheeky smile. ''I was bored, so I got up. Besides, I was hungry.''

''Hm, I see,'' Oswald hummed. ''So, Olga made you breakfast? She could make one for me too,'' he said displeased.

''Oh no, I made breakfast. I'm sure that witch is trying to poison me,'' Ed whispered conspiratorially.

Oswald chuckled and shook his head. ''No doubt she is.''

''I can prepare something for you,'' Ed offered.

''There's no need. After all, I don't pay Olga for nothing. As far I am concerned she isn't trying to kill me.''

''Well, you never know,'' Ed shrugged reaching for his mug.

''Olga!'' Oswald called and Ed cringed at the sound. ''I can see that you're recovering quickly,'' he eyed his husband.

''Yes, I'm feeling much better. Apparently my injuries looked much worse than they were.''

''Yeah... But didn't doctor Clark said it would take you about two weeks?''

''He was wrong, it seems,'' Ed sipped his coffee. ''But you don't mind that, right? Unless...'' he smirked.

''Of course I don't mind!'' Oswald protested.

''You called me?'' Olga asked.

''Yes, I did,'' Oswald ignored housemaid's scoff upon seeing Ed. ''I'm hungry. I'd fancy,'' he hesitated for a moment. ''Bacon with eggs. And a cup of coffee,'' he smiled toxically.

''Yes sir,'' she grumbled and muttered something else too quietly for Oswald or Edward to hear. She gave Ed one more contemptuous look and left fot the kitchen.

''She's up to something,'' Ed whispered.

''No, she's just Olga. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm glad to see that you're getting better, but I think you should be careful about your health.''

''Really, Oswald, there's nothing to worry about,'' Ed stopped for a moment. He enjoyed his stay in the manor, inspite of their recurring arguments. The only reason he had been allowed to stay there that long was his injury. Edward would be a fool to let this chance go so easily. If Oswald decided that Ed was healthy enough, he was very likely to tell him to go home. He needed to convince Oswald it would be the best for him to stay there as long as needed, which wasn't even that difficult considering Oswald's behaviour. ''But I'll keep that in mind. It still stings.''

''I'm not surprised, it hasn't been even a week!''

''Speaking of which,'' Ed rested his head on his hand. ''We still don't have any plan against Big Stevie.''

''Yes, you're right,'' Oswald nodded. ''But I need more information. They gave you a week.''

''Correct,'' Ed nodded.

''Did they mention the time they wanted you to give back money?'' Ed shook his head. ''Or where they want to meet you?''

''No,'' Ed bit inner side of his cheek.

Oswald sighed resigned. ''It doesn't make things easier for us,'' he heard heavy steps, so he turned his head towards the source. It was Olga marching in with a tray.

''How nice of you to come at last! I thought you'd forgotten about me,'' Oswald huffed.

''Breakfast's ready,'' she said almost listlessly if not for a pint of tiredness in her voice as she put the tray in front of Oswald.

''Thank you, Olga.'' Oswald watched as she left with a heavy sigh.

''I don't know why you won't just dismiss her,'' Ed crossed his arms.

''Because I won't find better housemaid,'' Oswald raised an eyebrow to make an emphasis and bit bacon. ''Getting back to our main subject, I don't see any problems. We could raid Big Stevie and make sure he never poses a threat again.''

''No!'' Ed suddenly raised his voice. ''You can't do that!''

''Why not?'' Oswald asked confounded. ''If he wants a war, he'll get one.''

''Oswald, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but that's stupid and careless. I told you he was an important player in Narrows. If we openly attack him, Narrows will turn against us. And I'm sure you remember how difficult Narrows can be. Besides, he wasn't there. Who attacked me were his guys.''

Oswald hummed taking a moment to think about it. ''He is not a king of Narrows,'' he pointed out.

''Even if he's not, he's got some loyal people around him. Plus he's well liked.''

Ed might have had a point there. Sure they had money and manpower, but Narrows' trust was hard to get. He would get rid of Steve later. For now Oswald would let him stay where he was – in dirty, smelly Narrows.

''We need to contact Big Stevie, but you cannot go there,'' Oswald played with a napkin, folding and unfolding it.

''You shouldn't, either. It would be best if he didn't know you are involved,'' Ed noted.

''Right, but we need to get that information somehow,'' Oswald pondered. ''Do you have any person you could send?''

''I don't have henchmen behind me like you do.''

''But you have some people working at the Riddle Factory,'' Oswald reminded.

''None of them is reliable enough,'' Ed scoffed.

''Maybe you could ask Lucius?''

''I don't want him to know too much. Especially that we know now he and Barbara were working behind our backs. I could write them a note. Could you arrange it so he receives it?''

''I can try to get somebody to drop it there. Just don't write riddles, because they won't understand,'' Oswald smiled and Ed pretended to pout.

''I can make no such promises.''

''Ed,'' Oswald said more harshly. ''I'm being serious now.''

''Oh, alright,'' Ed rolled his eyes.

''Hi, Selina,'' Oswald called her. ''I might have a job for you.''

''Then call me by my moniker,'' she said impatiently.

Oswald rolled his eyes. Why was everyone so stubborn about that matter? First Ed with his 'Call me Riddler', now Selina urging him to call her Cat. ''Alright, _Cat_.''

''That's better,'' he heard mirth in her voice. ''So, what can I do for you, Pengy?''

''I need you to leave a note in Big Stevie's, hm,'' Oswald wondered how to call that gangs workplace. ''Lair,'' he decided. It was dark and stinky like most of Narrows. ''After reading it, he should send a message to the Riddle Factory. If he does, take it and bring it to my office. I don't think I have to mention that nobody should see you.''

''Hm, the Riddle Factory. I bet it has something to do with your husband, doesn't it?'' Selina teased. ''I've heard he hasn't been seen there for several days.''

''Whether it has anything to do with Edward is none of your concern,'' he said harshly.

''Gee, dude, chill,'' her eye roll was almost audible. ''But you're right – let's not talk about Nygma. Let's talk instead about, I don't know, my remuneration.''

''What is the price for your services?''

''Let's see... Breaking in, leaving a message, capturing the message, staying unnoticed. It will be five thousand total.''

''What? For that price I could get ten homeless people to do this job!'' Oswald screeched.

''But you called me, which means you want this to be done smoothly and for quality you have to pay. Besides, don't be such a greedy, you won't even notice you paid that sum. Do we have a deal?''

''Alright, but I will pay you when the job is done,'' Oswald argued.

''I prefer payment in advance,'' she said nonchalantly.

''And I prefer knowing I didn't throw my money into mud.''

''Well, you want my services, so I name the price and how you pay.''

''Let's meet halfway, shall we? I'll pay you two thousand five hundred in advance and two thousand five hundred after the job is done,'' Oswald pinched the bridge of his nose.

''Ok, I can agree to that.''

''I'll leave you the note in two hours.''

''Alright. You know where to find me. Oh, and don't forget the money,'' she said smugly.

''Yeah, yeah, see you later, Cat,'' Oswald hung up.

Oswald entered Selina's hideout. He wrinkled his nose – it was messy, dark and ugly like most of that kind of places in Gotham. He wondered if Selina knew that dust was cleanable. Probably she didn't even care.

''Oh, you're finally here,'' she greeted him and he would wonder how she got on that shelf if he didn't know she wasn't called Cat for nothing. She jumped off and landed gracefully. ''So,'' she tilted her head. ''Do you have my money?''

''Yes, I have your award and the note you're gonna drop.''

''Money first,'' she warned when he pulled an envelope out. Oswald sighed heavily and handed her a wad of banknotes. She took it quickly and started counting. ''The sum is correct,'' she said and put money into her pocket, so he handed her closed envelope with 'From the Riddler' written in big fat green letters. She took it and watched from various angles. ''He wrote it?'' she raised an eyebrow curiously.

''Who?'' Oswald narrowed his eyes.

''Who? Who?'' Selina tilted her head from side to side in resigned manner. ''Nygma of course, you dumbass!''

Oswald gaped at her audacity, but then he recalled he shouldn't be surprised by her behaviour by now. ''I told you it was none of your business.''

''Come on, Pengy, I'm just curious! Everybody knows that something happened between you two. No one has seen you two together for a year and now you're giving me an envelope signed by the Riddler. Unless you forged it for some reason.''

''Just do when you're paid for,'' Oswald leant firmly on his cane. ''Do you remember what are you supposed to do?''

''Sneak into Big Stevie's hideout, leave the message you gave me, wait to see if he writes back, if he does take the message from the Riddle Factory and bring it to you. Is that correct?'' she said in a bored voice as she checked her nails.

''Yes. I hope it will be done professionally.''

''Don't you worry your feathered head,'' she booped his nose. ''When I come to your office I expect you to wait for me with the rest of my money.''

''I keep my word, Cat,'' he said sourly.

''Yeah, well,'' she cocked her head. ''It depends. You can go back to whatever you're doing and I'm leaving to do my job,'' she waved her hand like she was cleaning the dust that surely needed to be cleaned in her place. Oswald scoffed, but took the cue to leave.

There was not much they could do about Big Stevie aside from waiting for Selina. Oswald left for Iceberg Lounge, after all he still had to look after his business. He called Ed to let him know the note was on its way to Stevie. Good thing he got Ed new mobile. Not that he had much choice in this matter, Ed wouldn't stop nagging until Oswald bought him new cellphone.

Having called his other half, Oswald relaxed in his chair and lit a cigarette. He exhaled slowly letting smoke curl in the air. If Ed had seen him, he would probably lecture him on negative effects of smoking. It would be quite flattering if it wasn't so irritating.

And when it came to Ed, Oswald had to admit he was happy to have him by his side again, even if only until he recovered. After that Ed would probably prefer to go back to his flat. In those few days they had spent together they had several arguments, but to Oswald things seemed to work out, all in all. He wouldn't complain if Ed moved back for good. On the contrary, actually. But Ed with his lack of sense of propriety, would insist on sharing bed if he moved back and Oswald wasn't ready for that yet.

Not to mention there was still that Big Stevie issue. Maybe Ed had been right and they should have looked into that earlier. Now they had only two days left and still they didn't know where to expect his gang. Of course Big Stevie was to blame, if you want to get your money back you should specify more closely when and where you're waiting for it. These were the basics, but apparently in Narrows they didn't know that.

Oswald was almost getting ready to leave his office. He looked at the clock, the hour was getting late and he didn't want to leave Ed alone that long, even though Ed assured him he was fine. Besides, Oswald was beginning to feel drowsy. Maybe it was the weather, maybe he was getting old. Of course if anyone dared to suggest the latter, Oswald would show how offended he was and would give that person some reasons to be scared for his life. He scolded himself for thinking that. He wasn't old, he was still in his prime. It surely was the weather and the stress his work gave him. ''Don't say I didn't do my job,'' Selina sneaked in and Oswald almost thanked God that something happened at last. She put a piece of paper on Oswald's desk. Big Stevie didn't even care enough to put it into an envelope. Not that Oswald was anticipating such a thing from some gangster from Narrows.

Oswald handed her a wad of money with a wry smile. ''And don't you say I didn't pay you.''

She counted the sum and hid it in her pocket. ''It's pleasure doing business with you. If you need anything else, you know where to find me,'' she opened a window and turned towards Oswald. ''It was a piece of cake. That guy doesn't have any security, funny, right?'' she smirked and walked out through the window.

Oswald returned home. He didn't find Edward in the living room or the dining room, so he walked into Ed's room. The light was turned off, but he heard a mumble.

''Oh, sorry, I didn't want to wake you up,'' he said softly.

''I wasn't asleep yet,'' Ed rubbed his eyes and turned on the lamp on night stand.

''I've got the response.''

Ed put on his glasses and sat up. ''And what it says?''

Oswald cleared his throat. ''My boys will come on Thursday, one PM to the Riddle Factory like they came last time. Don't try to hide your coward ass,'' Oswald stopped for a second. ''Oh, it says 'you're' instead of 'your'.''

''I'm not surprised,'' Ed snorted.

''I will find you. Don't try any tricks with me. You owe me ten thousand bucks more for not paying on time.'' Oswald read.

''It's called 'interest','' Ed laughed.

''I don't think he knows that,'' Oswald smirked. ''It seems that he will not come and will send his henchmen instead. We can prepare a warm welcome for them.''

''How many times do I have to tell you we don't need start another war when there's no such need?''

''There's a need! Do what you will, but I won't let anybody hurt you and not face consequences,'' Oswald crossed his arms. Seeing that Ed wasn't fully convinced, he went on. ''We will be merely teaching Stevie a lesson. And if something happens to his boys, well, that's the risk of that job. Look,'' he grabbed Ed's hand. ''You can play with them your wheel of misfortune.''

Upon hearing that Edward's eyes shined. ''What are we waiting for, then?'' he said gleefully. Oswald snorted, Ed was sometimes so predictable.

Dirk, Mark and Joe, whose real name was Matthew, but people called him Joe for some reason walked into the Riddle Factory. It should be easy, last time it had been. Mark noted that last time the Riddler hadn't been suspecting them, but his colleagues ignored his remarks. The plan was that Riddler gives back their boss' money and if he doesn't they beat him again. Rumour had it the Riddler fell from Penguin's grace, so Stevie had said something about the possibility of an unfortunate event happening to obnoxious green man. Which meant that the trio had a free hand to make decision on his fate.

''Do you think he came?'' asked Joe.

Dirk snorted. ''I hope so! He can't keep hiding forever.''

''The place looks empty,'' said Matthew called Joe.

''Let's split and look around,'' Dirk suggested.

''Uh, guys,'' Mark spoke. ''I don't think it's good idea. He could have left some traps.''

''Stop whining,'' Joe spit on the floor. ''I'll check that room,'' he pointed at the room on the left.

''I'm gonna take that one,'' Dirk went right and Mark was left alone. He sighed and unhappily walked towards the room with the stage. He took only few steps into the room before something hard hit him in his head.

Matthew tried to open up his eyes, but headache growing in the back of his head made it difficult. He heard two voices.

''I can hardly believe these are the people who assaulted you!'' said one of them.

''Do you always need to ridicule me?'' the other grumbled angrily.

''They weren't even hard to overpower. I thought capturing them would be more difficult.''

Matthew known as Joe blinked trying to focus his vision. He saw two blurred spots, one green and the other dark.

''They caught me by surprise, alright?!''

''Riddler!'' Joe heard a voice on his left.

''Oh, look, they are waking up,'' said dark spot.

''Good, the show is about to begin!'' green blur spoke dramatically.

''Oh, shit and the Penguin!'' said another voice.

Joe felt sharp pain in his calf, dark blur had kicked him and yelled. ''Come on, we're waiting for you! Your friends are up.''

''What are going to do with us?'' asked one of voices next to Matthew.

''You didn't have to hit him that hard,'' said the green one. He started taking some more reasonable shapes.

''I didn't, but I wanted to.''

''As for the matter of your future, I think you can get some ideas. Think about it, the place should be telling,'' said the green one.

''Mmm... 'ake,'' Joe slurred. He felt dizzy.

''I wouldn't be so sure about it,'' scoffed the dark one.

''I told you it was bad idea to split, but of course you wouldn't listen! Mark this, Mark that!''

''Next time don't listen to your idiotic friends,'' Joe could see that dark blur had arms and was getting less blurry.

''If there will be next time,'' green tall with arms and legs like sticks laughed.

''I wish I'd brought a book. It's gonna take some time before your pal is conscious enough to take part in Riddler's contest,'' complained the shorter one.

''Well, if you keep hitting people that hard, you're going to kill them on spot,'' said the green one.

''Great, now we're taking part in some stupid contest of riddles!'' Joe recognised Dirk's voice.

''Ah 'ear you,'' Matthew muttered. ''Don't yell.''

''See? He's getting more talkative,'' argued dark one. Joe could see that he was wearing a suit.

''Let's check how responsive he is,'' green suit walked closer. ''What's your name?''

''Joe... N-no, Matthew.''

''Not really,'' the green one said displeased. From that distance Joe could see he was wearing glasses.

''Well, he's right,'' noted Mark and after a beat went on. ''He's name is Matthew, but we call him Joe.''

''Why?'' dark one asked confused, but there was no response.

''Alright, Matthew-called-Joe. Let's say you passed first question. Numberrr two,'' green man rolled his 'r'. ''Who we are? You two, be quiet.''

Joe raised his head to get better look at the two men. He blinked slowly, trying to process the whole information. Green, glasses, Riddle Factory... ''You're the Riddler,'' he spoke.

''Correct,'' Riddler said. ''What about him?'' Joe guessed he was pointing at the shorter man dressed in dark suit. Nothing came to his mind when it came to that one. Dark suit, dark suit... it could be anyone. ''I guess we'll have to wait a little bit longer.''

''Seriously? You don't recognise him?'' asked Dirk.

''I... uh, everything's blurry,'' Matthew muttered.

''Yet you recognised the Riddler,'' dark suit was unhappy.

''He's tall and green and... and we're in the Riddle Factory,'' Joe argued.

''He's got a point,'' said Mark.

''Nobody has asked you,'' dark suit spat.

''Uh huh, somebody's afraid that I'm more famous that you. I told you to take purple suit,'' the Riddler sang.

''I don't want it to get stained,'' shorter one held something in his hand. Some kind of stick or bat. Joe glared at him, trying to unveil his identity.

''Look, it's nothing personal, we just do as boss tells us to do,'' said Mark.

''Penguin?'' Joe said with uncertainty.

''Look!'' Ed laughed. ''You're well-known person too, Oswald. Alright you answered correctly the second question. The third one: how many fingers do you see?''

Joe squinted. ''Eh, I don't know.''

Penguin let out disappointed huff. ''How much time do we have before Big Stevie starts looking for them?''

''Well, it's been already an hour,'' Riddler noted.

''Boss checks income by the end of the day,'' explained Mark. ''From what I've gathered he's pissed off at the Riddler.''

''Yes!'' nodded Dirk. ''If he doesn't get money by eight or nine, he'll start looking for it.''

''We'll see about that,'' Ed smirked. ''I'm looking forward meeting him.''

''If I were him, you'd be dead,'' Oswald said with warm amusement.

''But you're not,'' Riddler smiled. ''Ok, we've got about six or seven hours, should be enough. It's a shame I don't have any audience today.''

''Well, you've got me,'' Oswald moved his eyebrows up and down.

''The best audience I could ask for,'' Ed purred.

''I haven't seen the Riddler's show in a long long time,'' Penguin said gloomily. ''Will he entertain me today?''

''The Riddle Factory will use its best endeavours to keep you entertained, Mister Penguin,'' Riddler smiled smugly as he bowed courteously.

''And there are my people,'' Cobblepot reminded.

''But they are keeping watch. The only people in the heart of this sanctuary of riddles are my esteemed guest, our contestants and me, your humble host,'' Oswald rolled his eyes at Edward's words.

''I'm bored, Ed,'' Oswald nagged. ''Can't we take care of him later?''

''It won't that fun then.''

Dirk tried to untie his hands but in vain. He thrashed in the chair he was tied to.

''It seems that not only my guest is getting impatient,'' Ed crossed his arms. ''Well then, I'll explain the rules. Does Matthew aka Joe understand me?'' Joe nodded, so Riddler went on. ''Rules are simple and if you're familiar to this place, there should be no surprises. I, the Riddler,'' he put his hands on his chest. ''Will ask each of you a riddle. Should your answer be correct, I'll leave the one who guessed it alone. However, if your answer is wrong, I'll spin the wheel of misfortune. As today's edition is special, I've decided to spice things up and changed punishments for something more interesting. Do you understand the rules?'' unlucky gangsters nodded reluctantly. ''Wonderful!'' Ed clapped. ''Hey Joe...'' he sang. ''We're waiting for you,'' he tapped with his foot.

Ed took his time to clean scalpels, knives and other sharp objects he had brought with him. As he polished them with a soft cloth, he let them glitter in the light, giving his captives some ideas what was awaiting them, and smiled at his reflection in those objects. Meanwhile Oswald was playing with the knife hidden in his cane.

''Alright, I'm done,'' Ed huffed. ''It's no fun. If Matthew hasn't recovered yet, it's his problem. Anyway, he'll be the last one to answer.''

''Finally!'' Oswald exclaimed relieved.

Riddler walked to the gangster on the left. ''Please give your applause for the first contestant! What was your name?'' Unenthusiastic clapping was heard and Edward looked at his husband rebukely.

''Dirk,'' man swallowed nervously.

''Dirk, here's your riddle: Tomorrow I am surely here, yesterday I am found as well. Today I am gone. Who am I?'' Riddler spoke theatrically.

Tied up man sweat heavily. ''Tomorrow here, yesterday too, but today gone? Uh, um...'' he wanted really badly to scratch himslef, but he couldn't. ''Yesterday, today, tomorrow...''

''Think about it, Dirk,'' Ed tapped his head.

''Eh, um,'' Dirk cried. ''I'll find the answer, I'll find it!'' he assured quickly. ''Tomorrow, today, yesterday... Day? Nonono,'' he backed off. ''Hm, weather?''

''You are...'' Ed paused for a moment. ''Wrong. The answer is 'r'.''

''R? That's it?'' Dirk asked in disbelief.

''Yes. Letter 'r' can be found in words 'tomorrow' and 'yesterday', but not in 'today','' Riddler explained.

''That can't be right! I demand another one!'' loser yelled.

''Sorry, I can't do this. It wouldn't be fair. You know the rules,'' Ed shrugged showing how powerless he was, when it came to the rules. ''Would my guest do me the honour of spinning the wheel?''

''It would be a pleasure, the Riddler,'' Oswald smiled. He put all of his force into spinning the wheel. Both he and his husband watched curiously and impatiently the movement of the wheel, how it slowed down, and listened to the sound of plastic flag hitting rods.

''And we've got the punishment!'' Riddler announced excited. ''Your punishment will be electrocution! To be honest, I hoped it would be guillotine,'' he mused.

''We've still got two more left,'' Oswald pointed out.

Dirk watched his oppressors fearfully. Once again he tried to free himself.

''Stop doing that, you'll only hurt your skin,'' Edward put a metal helmet on Dirk's head, then he backed off and grabbed some kind of remote. He turned a knob a little bit and his victim screamed in pain as his muscles tensed.

''I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'' Dirk cried in agony as Ed increased the voltage. The more severe were convulsions shaking Dirk's body, the wider grew grin on Edward's face. Then Dirk's head fell.

''Now let's welcome our second contestant!'' Riddler announced. ''Could you please remind us your name?''

''I-I'm M-Mark,'' man sitting between Dirk and Joe stuttered.

''Your riddle is: Always in you, sometimes on you. If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?'' Ed spoke loudly and clearly.

Mark took several deep breaths to calm himself down, still he was so stressed that his body was shaking. He did not wish to end up like Dirk.

''So? What is your answer?'' Penguin pressed.

''Give him some more time to think,'' Riddler asked. ''I like watching how veins pop on their forehead when they put all their effort into thinking. Propably the only time in their lives.''

''Water,'' Mark swallowed. ''The answer is water.''

Edward turned towards him. ''You are... correct!''

Mark breathed quickly, he wanted to laugh, he won after all, but manic laughter that escaped from Riddler and Penguin's mouths gave him goosebumps. Why did he feel like cornered prey surrounded by predators when he answered correctly?

''I'm free to go, right?'' Mark asked insecurely, his voice trembling.

''I said I'd leave you alone,'' Ed smiled like he was revealing the punchline. ''I've never said what Penguin would do,'' he handed the shorter man a scalpel. ''Have fun, darling.''

''You can be sure I'll have fun,'' Oswald grinned insanely. He played with the scalpel in his hand for a moment before stabbing Mark's leg. He made sure not to stab the artery, because it would grant his victim too quick death.

''I guessed the riddle!'' Mark argued.

''Well done! Congratulations are in order,'' Riddler laughed. ''But I promised the Penguin entertainment and letting you go would be quite anticlimactic.''

Oswald swung his cane and hit Mark's right calf, breaking his bone. Tortured man hissed sharply.

''You are animals, not people!''

Oswald yanked his victim by his hair. ''We might as well be,'' he licked his teeth. ''Gotham is full of animals: penguins, cats, fish. Even plants are carnivorous in this city. Do you think your boss is any better? You are but a pawn.'' Penguin grabbed Mark's thumb and pulled it breaking it. ''I will not let anyone hurt my husband,'' he hissed menacingly into victim's ear.

Edward just stood there watching mesmerised as his other half did his job. How blood stained him when he cut off Mark's fingers. How one could look so good being covered in blood? The grace in his movements as he tortured the man. Edward always had admired Oswald for that. It brought back the memory of torturing Mister Leonard in Ed's apartment. All Ed could do was sigh deeply at the sight. Oswald was beautiful and fearsome, an embodiment of the angel of death.

When Oswald was done with torturing poor man, he cut his throat. Then he turned towards his husband with a wide smile on his face. It felt wonderful to work together with Ed again.

''What?'' he asked with smile playing on his lips seeing how Ed looked at him.

''You are gorgeous,'' Ed said breathlessly and Oswald blushed. Ed tucked a strand of hair behind Oswald's ear and kissed his temple and Penguin caressed Riddler's cheek.

Matthew vel Joe watched the whole thing with dread. It didn't matter if he answered right or wrong, Penguin and Riddler played at their expense. It was only entertainment for them.

''Honey, we've got one more contestant left,'' Oswald whispered kissing Ed's earlobe.

''Right,'' Edward cleared his throat somewhat confounded. ''Joe or Matthew, or whatever you want to be called. ''First I am dried, then I am wet. The longer I swim, the more taste you get. What am I?'' he asked.

Matthew found no will to fight back. ''I don't know. Noodles, whatever,'' he said listlessly.

''No, the answer is tea,'' Riddler smirked.

''So what are you going to do? Boil me?'' Joe asked.

''I don't know. Maybe? Let's find out!'' Edward clapped and Oswald spun the wheel. ''Oh, that's good one! Wait a moment!'' he said and ran to his backstage.

With some help from Oswald's henchmen he brought something that looked like ginormous jar on metal legs with wheels. Inside the jar were trapped scorpions. The jar was place in front of Joe and Riddler rotated its top to point towards unlucky man.

''Your punishment will be to stick your head into this container. While most species of scorpio are harmless for humans, this one is,'' Ed grinned. ''Come on, don't be shy.'' He sighed and yanked Joe's head into jar. Then Oswald handed him thick gloves and he put them on.

Joe hissed when scorpions started stinging him. He felt his body going numb and sight worsening again.

''That should be enough,'' Ed assessed and pulled Matthew's head out of container.

He examinated his hair checking whether some scorpio hadn't got stuck in there, but he found none. Then he waved at one of Oswald's henchmen to take the container back to his backstage.

Joe breathed heavily, drawing every breath was becoming more difficult. His eyelids lazily slid shut.

''I've got to say your show was top-notch,'' Oswald lauded.

''I'm glad you enjoyed it,'' Ed smiled happily.

Oswald called his henchmen to dispose of bodies and clean up the place. Now they were preparing for the second part – the arrival of Big Stevie. They couldn't be even sure he would come. It was around four PM. Penguin's people started getting bored after few hours and he had to remind them they were on his payroll.

Big Stevie came, but at ten o'clock. Oswald was grateful he did, because he started doubting he would and Ed was bothering his employees with his riddles.

''Riddler!'' Stevie walked accompanied by five goons. ''And Penguin,'' he spat upon noticing Oswald. ''Aren't you divorced?''

''We are not divorced!'' Edward and Oswald yelled simultaneously and then looked at each other pretty pleased.

''That's what people were saying,'' gangster looked at the remaining bloodstains on the stage. ''I guess that my boys kicked the bucket. Oh well. I let you know they were good boys.''

''Maybe they were, I don't know. I don't care,'' Oswald crossed his arms. ''But they acted against us, so we got rid of them.''

''Do you know why I sent them, Penguin? Your cunt owes me money!''

''You could have asked more nicely,'' Ed tilted his head. ''I don't appreciate being called names, you know.''

''You think you're so smartass? Let's see how smart will you be when I put a bullet through your brains!'' Stevie yelled, his face was all red.

''While I understand your anger, what can I say? Be careful who do you lend money,'' Oswald shrugged mockingly.

''Maybe my boys should you two teach some respect right here and now!''

''I would advise against doing that. I don't know if you noticed, but you're outnumbered,'' Oswald looked around and his henchmen walked into the room on the command.

''You are finished, Riddler! And Penguin too!''

''Oh, I'm so scared!'' Ed shook his hands and made funny face.

''You want a war, Stevie? Fine, I can give you one,'' Oswald spoke calmly, his posture was most dignified. ''But think about it. We've got manpower and money beyond your reach. And what do you have? Who do you think would win that war?''

''Why did you take my money then? You clearly don't have that much money as you claim,'' Stevie spat again and Oswald made disgusted face.

''And if I gave back your money?'' Oswald raised an eyebrow.

''Oswald!'' Ed hissed.

''He's got a point. You stole his money and that's unacceptable,'' Penguin tilted his head backwards. ''You told me not to start a war against Narrows. I'm trying to find some more peaceful solution.''

Big Stevie sneezed into his hand and wiped in in his tank top that once was white, but currently was stained heavily. ''Penguin has more brains than you, Riddler. I want two hundred thousand you took plus ten thousand for not paying on time, plus fifty thousand for my boys.''

''Hey!'' Ed exclaimed irritated.

''What? Jealous?'' Oswald smirked meanly. ''Ten thousand for your boys, they got what they deserved for attacking the Riddler,'' he argued. ''I can agree to the rest.''

''Fourty, I have to pay their families and cover my own needs,'' Stevie crossed his arms.

''Your own needs!'' Oswald snorted clearly amused by Steve's selection of vocabulary. ''Twenty.''

''Thirty five.''

''Ok, thirty,'' Oswald pretended to be bored by the negotiations.

''Alright, thirty, but that's my last word,'' Stevie narrowed his eyes.

''We've got a deal. We will leave you and your boys alone and you won't attack us,'' Oswald said.

''Right,'' Stevie nodded.

''Mitch, bring money,'' Penguin waved his hand at one of his goons.

''That wasn't a part of plan,'' Ed hissed into Oswald's ear.

''It wasn't, but that's good solution. Just like you wanted – no war,'' Oswald whispered back.

''You should have told me!''

''You didn't tell me about you wonderful idea of unvealing Lucius and Barbara's scheme. Even-steven,'' Oswald shrugged casually. ''Besides, outcome will be beneficial for both of us,'' he stepped aside and said. ''Here's your money,'' he pointed at the suitcase.

''Not so fast, Penguin. I wanna make sure you're not cheating me too,'' he opened the suitcase and started counting the money. Not every banknote, but the number of bulks with wrap stating each was equal ten thousand dollars.

''I didn't know he could count,'' Ed whispered as watched intrigued.

''Neither did I,'' playful smirk appeared on Oswald's lips.

After some time Stevie stated that everything was correct and left.

Oswald watched him leave and shook his head. ''One of these days you're going to ruin me, Edward.''

''It was your idea to pay him,'' Ed reminded.

''Yes, I know. It's getting late. Let's go home, shall we?'' Penguin suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time I'm feeling sorry for my OCs. What an odd feeling.  
> Do you have any thoughts you'd want to share?


	14. Chapter 14

Edward stayed four more days at manor after their confrontation with Big Stevie. Oswald wanted to make sure Ed was fine enough to leave and Edward didn't really want to leave Oswald's side, so these four days were a kind of an agreement they made. None of them found enough courage to suggest that Ed should move in for good, though both of them craved that. But it had been only a month and they came so far in that short time span and maybe there was no need to hurry, they both mused. Maybe they should let things keep their own pace if they wanted to get it right this time.

And so Ed returned to his flat. It felt unbearably small after time spent in huge mansion and also more empty than Van Dahl manor.

Seeing that things between them started working out finally, Oswald and Edward made an effort to meet more often. Usually they saw each other not less often than every three days. They kept meeting in their homes, still not quite ready to go out in the public together. Gossips irritated Oswald to no end, so he tried to make them as scarce as possible. Some things couldn't have been avoided like the fact that his damned men couldn't have kept their mouths shut and of course they had to talk about seeing the Penguin and the Riddler cooperating. Oswald guessed Big Stevie and his men were talking about them too. He felt like scalping babblers.

On the fifth day since Ed returned to his flat they dined at Ed's place. It was more common for Edward to pay a visit to his husband than the other way around, but Oswald felt obliged to drop by once in a while. Maybe it was due to both of them being more comfortable in Van Dahl manor.

They ate and drank and talked and laughed. With every their meeting the puzzles of their personalities and behaviours seemed to fall back into place more and more. Even their squabbles were bringing them together as they helped them readjust.

''So, how are things at the Factory?'' Oswald asked.

''As usual,'' Ed shrugged.

''Steve isn't causing any troubles?'' Oswald bit chicken leg.

''No, it looks that he forgot about the whole thing once he put his dirty hands on the money,'' Ed let out a short laugh.

''That's good,'' Oswald swallowed his meal. ''I knew he was narrow-minded, but I expected him to at least try to fight back. I think we should still keep an eye on him in case he got some dumb impression he could outsmart us,'' he waved with the chicken leg.

''How many times do I have to remind you not to talk while eating?'' Ed huffed. ''You're just asking for a disaster. One day you'll choke if you keep on eating like that.''

''No, I won't,'' Oswald rolled his eyes.

''Let's hope you're right.''

''We're having a nice diner, don't kill the mood,'' Oswald sighed and then spoke like he suddenly recalled something. ''Speaking of debts, there's something you owe me,'' he played with his glass.

''Oh?'' Ed intrigued raised an eyebrow. ''And what it might be that I owe you?''

''Don't you know?'' Oswald chuckled. ''Think about it, Riddler,'' he smirked shyly. ''Something I would have got if you hadn't left.''

Ed's forehead furrowed. He wondered what Oswald had meant. Something Oswald used to get before things went pear-shaped. Ed used to made them breakfast, but he had prepared it for Oswald several times since they started mending their relationship.

''Do you need another hint?'' Oswald teased.

''No! I'll solve it!'' Ed protested. He didn't need another hint, he was the Riddler, after all! What an implication that the Riddler would ever need more hints!

What was Oswald talking about, he wondered. Sex? No, he would have used other words if he wanted that. Something that Oswald missed because Ed had ran away... Something he hasn't received yet. That made the list pretty short. There were few things that Oswald used to get and hasn't got again. Mornings spent together in bed, for example. Edges of Nygma's lips slowly went up and formed a grin. He knew the answer. ''Anniversary.''

''I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, Riddler,'' Cobblepot said with mirth in his voice. ''If you decide that you want to pay back the debt you owe me, I'd prefer it being done before our next anniversary.''

''Well, that gives me over four months. One hundred and thirty-three days to be precise,'' Ed smiled politely while cutting out a piece of chicken.

''That's quite a lot of time, don't you think? Besides, I'm not forcing you to do anything, just reminding,'' Oswald shrugged pretending to be innocent. ''Choice is yours.''

Two days later Ed walked into the Iceberg Lounge for the first time in over a year. It felt strange to be in that place again. He noticed how patrons and employees looked at him, almost like it wasn't him walking in, but a dinosaur. Though the latter wasn't completely impossible in Gotham, he mused. It didn't escape his attention how people started whispering. Some of them were giggling, some looked frightened, some just observed him with an honest curiosity.

Edward had a feeling something was off about the Lounge. Lowkey he expected it to change after their breakup if it could be called that. Yet the place stayed exactly the same as he remembered it.

He sat at the bar and bartender, what was her name? Sam?, served him the drink he usually asked for. When he took out his wallet, she said his drink was on the house. Ed deemed it interesting. Just a two months earlier he would have been most likely thrown out, but now no one has tried to stop him from walking in and his drinks were on the house like they used to be. Maybe Oswald was waiting for him to visit his club, but was too shy to ask? He chuckled quietly and sipped his drink. Maybe there was no need to wait for Oswald to leave his office. Ed was curious if he would be allowed to go there. He decided to waste no time and experiment around boundaries instead. He downed quickly his drink and walked towards Penguin's office, presenting himself composed and confident. Henchmen watching over the entrance to the room looked at him surprised, but didn't comment or try to stop him.

Edward walked into the room. ''Hellllo, Ozzie,'' he purred.

Oswald, who was working on some documents, jolted and dropped his pen. ''Jesus, Edward!'' he screamed. ''Do you want to give me a heart attack?!''

''It's one of the last things I want to happen to you. To be honest, I wanted to surprise you, but not to scare you,'' Ed headed towards the chair prepared for Oswald's visitors.

''I wasn't scared!'' Oswald protested.

''Really?'' Ed asked not quite convinced. ''You looked pretty scared to me.''

''I was startled, that's all,'' Cobblepot waved his hand causally. ''But what are you doing here, Ed? Not that I'm not glad to see you, I'm just curious.''

''Oh, I wanted to see the Lounge, I haven't been here for quite some time,'' Ed cocked his head.

''You had a drink, didn't you?'' Oswald eyed him with an amused smile on his face.

''Only one,'' Ed drummed his fingers on the desk. ''It's nice that your employees still remember what to serve me. And that drinks are still on the house.''

Oswald laughed. Several times he had considered revoking Riddler's privilege, but had never gone for it. Apparently Ed had used it that day. ''Surprised?''

''A bit.''

''Why?''

''There was a possibility that you'd want to punish me,'' Ed explained.

''By making you pay for drinks?'' Oswald snorted. ''Even if I decided to, I surely would have made your drinks free by now.''

''So my drinks were free all that time?'' Ed leant over the desk smirking smugly. Oswald shook his head in amusement. ''What a shame I didn't know that!'' Ed faux-lamented. ''I would have come here more often!''

''Then I would just ban you from coming,'' Oswald crossed his arms still smiling like an idiot.

''I would have found a way if I had to. Have I told you how I sneaked into GCPD covered by blanket?''

''Pfft!'' Oswald snorted and he was lucky he wasn't drinking anything, because he would have choked otherwise. ''You're kidding me!''

''Honest to God, I swear!''

''Oh well, I've never thought that smart people work there.''

''Hey!'' Ed exclaimed offended. ''I used to work there!''

''But you quit. Alright, alright,'' he raised his hands in a surrender seeing that it didn't make his husband less angry. ''What I meant that there are no smart cops there.''

''That's better,'' Ed nodded. ''Anyway, wanting to see your club isn't the only reason for my visit today.''

''And what is the other, may I ask?'' Oswald took business-like posture.

''Diner, nine o'clock at 'Ab ovo'.''

''And what's the occasion for such a refined evening?''

Ed grinned widely. ''Our anniversary, of course!'' he acted to be affronted as if Oswald had forgotten about the event.

''You said you had four months!'' Penguin said shocked. Sure, he wanted to get back their lost anniversary, but he did not think Ed would be so quick about it. Also he hoped to spent it privately and not in a restaurant, even if it was expensive and acclaimed one.

''Yes, but I did not want to wait with it. Unless you have other plans for this lovely evening?'' Nygma raised an eyebrow questioningly.

''I'd love to spent this evening celebrating our anniversary with you, Edward,'' Oswald spoke softly. Screw it, people were talking about them all the same. For all the stuff he put up with Ed, he desrved to dine out with him, didn't he?

''That's great!'' Ed cheered. ''Oh, we should be going soon enough,'' he looked at the clock in Oswald's office.

''Let me just call Pete and grab my coat, and we're ready to go. I'm in no mood for these, anyway,'' Oswald lifted a pile of documents that lay at his desk and let it fall down with a thud.

They let their coats to be taken to cloakroom. Elderly man welcomed them with a well-trained smile. ''Mister Nygma, Mister Cobblepot,'' he bowed. ''Let me take you to your table.''

They followed him and sat down at the indicated table. Then young waitress approached them and handed them menus. They skimmed their cards.

''May I take your order?'' she asked.

They exchanged looks and Oswald turned in her direction. ''Just a moment please.''

''Of course,'' she nodded politely.

''Has anything caught your attention?'' Ed asked.

''Hmm,'' Oswald pondered. ''I'm still thinking. I'm in two minds about gnocchi and ravioli.''

''I think I'll take agrodolce,'' Ed flipped pages.

''Ok, ravioli,'' Oswald decided.

''Excelent choice,'' waitress smiled. ''Is there anything else you'd like to try?''

''A champagne,'' Ed said.

''Oh, necessarily!'' Oswald echoed.

''Alright, we have a fine selection of champagnes-'' she tapped her pen onto her notebook.

Oswald's impatient nature told him to interrupt her. ''We'll take the best you have.''

''Riiight,'' she noted down. ''May I suggest a dessert?''

''I'll have chocolate mousse,'' this one didn't take Oswald long to made up his mind.

''And I'd like blueberry cake,'' Ed put his menu aside.

''Is that all?'' woman asked.

Ed looked at his other half. ''Yes, that will be all.''

''Alright, we shall bring you champagne in a minute. For the main course you'll have to wait approximately twenty minutes,'' she informed.

''Thank you,'' Oswald smiled in a polite manner that still let know the woman he was done talking to her. She bowed and left. ''I wish you'd told me earlier,'' he complained.

''I had to operate quickly. You know, usually people have to book a table in advance to get here. Luckily I know how to get a pass to places like this,'' Ed made a dramatic movement with his hand and Oswald chuckled. ''I also wanted this to be a nice surprise.''

''But if I had known earlier, I would be dressed more elegantly now,'' Oswald grimaced.

''Stop nagging, Oswald, I think you're dressed to the nines. Besides, look at me,'' Ed moved his hand from pointing at his head down his body. ''Am I wearing one of my most extravagant suits?''

''Thanks God you're not! You'd draw everybody's attention,'' Oswald rolled his eyes.

A waiter came with a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne lying there, and put it the centre of the table. ''Gentlemen, your champagne,'' he said. Then he put flutes, uncorked the bottle and poured bright liquid into their flutes. He put back the bottle into the bucket, bowed and left.

Oswald raised his flute. ''To our next anniversary?'' he suggested insecurily.

''To our next anniversary and many more yet to come,'' Ed smiled.

''May they come on the right date,'' Oswald smiled back.

''Cheers,'' they clinked their flutes and both of them took a sip.

''That's some good champagne!'' Oswald watched bubbles go up and then took another sip.

''Right?''

''Please remind me the brand later. I'm sure I'll forget it.''

''You're gonna serve it in your club?'' Ed asked curiously.

''No! Why? People wouldn't even appreciate it. And judging by the price only some snobs would buy it to show they can afford it. Besides, patrons prefer stronger beverages. They aren't even that much interested in various kinds of wine, champagne included. I was thinking about private use,'' he gave Ed knowing look.

''I see. And honestly, I cannot say that I'm surprised,'' Ed started folding his napkin like origami.

''What can I say? I've learnt from the past. I'd rather have well-stuffed cellar than sent you to a wine store,'' Oswald smirked meanly.

''And you have to remind me that again?'' Ed sighed tiredly.

''Come on, I'm just teasing,'' Penguin waved his hand.

Ed said nothing and kept playing with the napkin. Then he put napkin origami penguin on the table.

''Aw, that's so nice!'' pure bliss and happiness beamed from Oswald's face. Then clouds dulled the shine as he spoke. ''But you'll have to unfold it sooner or later.''

''I know,'' Ed played with napkin penguin. ''Don't worry, I can make you paper ones.'' Oswald was at loss of words, so he simply smiled awkwardly. ''Alright, that's settled. I'm gonna make my husband some origami flightless birds.''

''And what would my husband ask for in return?'' Oswald put his elbow on the table paying no mind to fact it being against savoir-vivre and rested his chin on his hand.

Edward pretended to ponder on the question. ''I don't know yet. But don't worry, I'll figure something out.'' He put his hand on top of Oswald's. ''I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this evening. I know you're sensitive about anniversaries.''

Oswald interlaced their fingers. ''Well, we can't change the past. But we're here now, so let us be glad about it.''

The same waitress that took their order, came bringing their dishes. Oswald awkwardly cleared his throat and freed his hand from Ed's. ''Ravioli,'' she put a plate next to Oswald and then she out another next to Ed. ''And agrodolce. Bon apetit!''

''Thank you,'' Ed nodded. Waitress bowed and left. Ed took a fork and leapt to steal some of Oswald's dish.

''Hey!'' Cobblepot scolded. ''Mind your own dish! Now only suitable thing for me to do is to take my revenge,'' he smirked mischievously as he grabbed a piece of Ed's food.

Oswald had invited Edward knowing that his husband would be staying for the night in the manor. He knew that Ed used visiting him to his own advantage as Ed tended to 'accidentally' stay late at the manor only to look theatrically at his watch around midnight, exclaiming ''Oh, look what time it is! I should be going!'' and Oswald couldn't say it annoyed him without lying. Actually, Penguin had never failed to offer Ed a place to sleep, stating it would be better if Ed didn't bother to travel back at that late hour.

As a result during that week, which was the third week since Ed had left the mansion after being beaten by Big Stevie's goons, Ed had spent more time in the mansion than in his flat. It came to the point where Ed left a set of pajamas and two suits in the wardrobe in his former bedroom, so he wouldn't have to worry about those should he stay at Oswald's again. Still neither of them dared to speak about the possibility of Ed moving in.

They were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. Oswald liked that place, it was reminiscent of some pleasant memories. Ed was brushing gently his arm and he rested his head on Ed's shoulder. It was calm, soothing, familiar. He raised his head and looked Ed in his eyes. Fire from fireplace played and danced in them. He felt like kissing him and found in his eyes invitation. He leant forward and pecked Ed's lips.

Nygma grinned and playfully put his arms on Oswald's shoulders. ''Will you accuse me of overstepping boundaries if I kiss you back?'' he asked amused.

Oswald laughed. ''No, you are welcome to go ahead.'' And so Ed went ahead, putting more passion into the kiss than Oswald had with his peck. Cobblepot didn't mind that, actually was rather content about it. He threw his arms around his husband and knocked Ed over. Ed couldn't be bothered by Oswald lying on him as he went on making out.

''It's getting interesting,'' Ed whispered into Oswald's ear somewhere between their kisses. Oswald only murmured something alongside affirmative 'mmm'. Ed put his hand on Oswald's back and squeezed him thighter. Penguin let out surprised and giggling cry. ''I love you,'' Ed kissed his ear.

''I love you too,'' Oswald caressed Ed's cheek. Nygma raised his head and planted a kiss on Oswald's nose. ''Hey!'' Penguin protested.

''You've got such a beautiful nose,'' Ed said mesmerised, looking at Oswald like he had hung the moon and the stars.

''There aren't many people that would agree with you.''

''They don't know a shit,'' Ed patted some rhythm on Oswald's back.

''Oh, stop you or I'm going to blush,'' Oswald waved his hand coquettishly.

''While the room is dimly lit by the fireplace, I know you well enough to know you're already blushing,'' Ed chuckled.

''Damn you, Edward Nygma,'' Oswald laughed playfully smacking his other's shoulder.

Ed pulled Oswald's face closer, kissing its various parts. ''Come here,'' he murmured.

Oswald giggled kissing Ed back. ''I'm here.''

''I've missed you so,'' Ed said breathlessly.

Warm breath tickled Edward's earlobe as Oswald said. ''I know, Eddie. I've missed you too,'' then he bit gently Ed's earlobe.

''Ow!'' Nygma cried. ''Don't eat me, you hungry animal!''

Oswald rubbed circles on his husband's stomach. ''But you're a snack!'' He leapt and flooded Ed with kisses, but Ed didn't want to lose the race and every Oswald's kiss parried with his own. Their breaths grew heavier, speeded by hormones in their bodies and laughter. Oswald felt light-headed and wasn't that sure if all that happiness wouldn't make him explode.  _Now or never_ , he thought. It was the right time to ask. ''Hey,'' he rubbed Ed's shoulder. ''Wanna move back in?'' he said breathing heavily. Consternation on Ed's face made him worry, however, and his smile faltered. Maybe it was still to early to suggest it?

Edward blinked unsure whether he had heard Oswald correctly. Everything had happened so fast. At first they were sitting peacefully, then making out and now he was offered a chance to move in. He drew a breath and tried to find the words. He saw smile on Oswald's face being replaced with anxiety and he felt like the Sun had gone out. He had to make the Sun shine again, its energy was needed for life to exist. ''Ja... I-I mean da, I mean yes,'' he spoke quickly, stumbling over different languages.

Oswald put his forehead on Ed's shoulder and laughed histerically. ''You are ridiculous and I love you so.''

Ed laughed loudly releasing the stress from his body. ''I'll bring my stuff tomorrow, is that fine with you?''

''Sure,'' Oswald turned his face to watch the fire. They lay like that for a while, too weary with emotions to continue their passionate kissing. Ed lazily rubbed Oswald's back while Oswald kept running his hand up and down Ed's arm.

Oswald should feel relieved, after something like a year and two months they were giving their crisis a closure. Yet he felt something was amiss. Like he had lied to Ed as well and never apologised for that. No, it wouldn't be a true closure if he wasn't honest with Ed. Unsaid things would keep haunting them. He sat up, much to Ed's dissatifaction, but he didn't want to have this conversation while lying on Ed. ''If we're going to set things right, there's something I need to tell you.''

''Alright,'' Ed spoke calmly as he sat up as well, but he could already feel he didn't like where was that heading.

''I know you're still thinking about it and worrying about what could have happened,'' Oswald turned his face away, looking at his husband made it more difficult to talk about it. ''I owe you an explanation and-and I don't know what to say,'' he let his hands fall showing how helpless he was. ''I-I've never wanted to tell you this, but that wouldn't be fair,'' he shook his head exhaling deeply. ''Would it be, now?'' he said gloomily.

Ed stared at him with his lips parted and a sign of worry on his face. ''You can tell me anything, Oswald. I'm here for you, you can count on me.''

Oswald chuckled self-depreciatingly with wet eyes. ''I know, Edward. Maybe that's why it's so difficult. I know you're blaming yourself for what had happened...'' he hesitated trying to find the least awkward way voice his thoughts. ''In the bathroom.''

Ed swallowed loudly. ''We don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable,'' he assured. Oswald's words did nothing to put Ed's mind at ease about that event. He was almost sure it was Oswald's doing and seeing how Oswald was at loss of words made him even more sure of it.

''It's better to rip off the bandage quickly than keep fretting about removing it,'' Oswald looked at Ed for a second and then stared at his feet. ''It was me,'' he blurted out.

Ed embraced Oswald as soon as he heard these words like he was afraid Oswald would vanish into thin air. ''I'm sorry,'' his voice broke. ''I'm so sorry. It's my fault.'' So it was true, he was right. He wished he wasn't. If somebody else had tried to kill Oswald, Ed could have killed that person and problem would have been resolved. But it was Oswald who had done it and Ed was responsible for that. The best he could do to help his husband was to stay by his side, listen to him, offer comfort and support and if it turned out to be needed, seek help for Oswald.

''No! That's what I'm trying to tell you! It's not your fault. You didn't do this. You didn't put me into the bathtub. I did,'' Oswald sobbed into Ed's shoulder. ''It was my decision. Mine and nobody's else.''

''You wouldn't have made that decision if I hadn't thrown you out.''

''Stop,'' Oswald said firmly. ''Stop blaming yourself. I don't blame you, I have no reason to do so and you have none as well.''

''Maybe you just don't want to. But I know it is my fault. My behaviour led you to that decision,'' Ed pulled his husband even closer and rocked him gently.

''And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you that. That and the shame. I knew you felt guilty. But you need to know you are not, I am. And I'm ashamed of what I've done. I was selfish, I paid no mind to how it might have affected you. I've hurt you and I'm sorry for that.''

''You shouldn't feel ashamed. Many people suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. That's nothing to be ashamed of,'' Ed rubbed soothingly Oswald's back. ''There's no need to apologise for that.''

Oswald sniffed. ''I just, I just want to know if you forgive me. I've forgiven you already. I know it's not something you can control, one cannot force themselves to forgive another person. It takes time. I'll understand if you need more time.''

Ed sighed. He'd never been angry at Oswald for the attempt on his life, but he understood that it wasn't something Oswald needed to hear. ''I forgive you,'' he spoke softly.

''Thank you,'' Oswald said barely above whisper. ''I want you to know that my promise stands still, I'll never do that again. I swear.''

''I wish I was there for you when you needed me. But from now on, I'll be there. If there's anything that bothers you, just tell me, alright?''

''Alright,'' Oswald nodded. ''But you know, if what you heard has changed your mind about moving in, we can wait with that.''

What Edward could have said to that? How Oswald could suggest that it could've changed his decision? How could Ed leave him again after nearly losing him? He was grateful to the fate that he still had Oswald after nearly losing him so many times. He believed that Oswald had no intent of doing that again, but he felt like to leave him now would be to sign his death sentence. ''I'll never leave you again,'' he kissed Oswald's neck. ''I can't wait to move back in.''

''Neither do I,'' Oswald snuggled closer.

''Thank you for telling me. I couldn't find it in me to talk about my betrayal, so I really appreciate it. You're so brave,'' Ed patted Oswald's hair. He heard Oswald snort, so he elaborated. ''No, I really think you're brave. Braver than me.'' He stopped for a while. ''How did you feel when you made that decision? Talking about it is completely up to you. I wonder, maybe talking about it will make you feel better and, well, not so ashamed.''

Oswald drew a deep breath. ''When I made that decision I felt oddly at peace, you know? Like a burden was taken from my shoulders. Like giving up was the best thing I could do. I'd expected to have some second thoughts and I had none, that's what terrifies me the most. It didn't try to fight back when I was drowning. I shouldn't be telling you that,'' he shook his head.

''No, please, go ahead,'' Ed took Penguin's hand into his.

''You'll start blaming yourself again.''

Ed kept for himself the fact that he didn't stop. ''I can see it makes you feel better. Being here and listening to you is the least I can do about it for you.''

''Ed, you literally saved me from drowning and my own stupidity,'' Oswald said more harshly, but a glimpse at Ed's face convincted him. He knew his other half wouldn't stop nagging until he talked again. ''I hoped I would see my mother again. That I would finally rest. No more fighting, overworking myself, keeping my guard up all the time, losing my temper about another war in the underworld, somebody trying to kill me or destroy my empire, GCPD going after me. I just felt it didn't matter anymore. Before I made that decision I had been angry. I don't really know at who or what. At you, for sure, but also at the whole world, I guess,'' he chuckled grimly. ''And I had felt very lonely, abandoned. I haven't felt that lonely since my mother had died. So I'd thought that no one would care if I was gone.''

Ed planted a kiss on Oswald's hand. ''I do care. I'll always care. I know I can be cold and I often distance other people, but do care about you more than about my own life.''

''I think that's our problem, Eddie,'' the rays of smile gently touched Oswald's face, barely visible, but still there. ''Our love tends to get a bit destructive, don't you think?''

''It's hard not to be destructive when you love somebody so fiercely. That whole energy has to demonstrate itself in some way,'' Ed smirked.

''I love you to the moon and back,'' Oswald brushed his knuckles over Ed's temple, then cheek.

''That's not that much, about 768,000 kilometers. It would take light about two and half a second to get to the Moon from the Earth and back to the Earth. Apollo 11 mission lasted eight days.''

''Stop, you nerd. You know what I meant,'' Oswald tried to look menacing, but the flicker in his eyes gave away his amusement.

''I love you to the end of space and back,'' Ed grinned smugly.

''My guess is that's a lot,'' Oswald cocked his head.

''Darling, you don't even have any idea how freaking much that is,'' Ed kissed him.

''While I may not possess this kind of knowledge about stars and space, I can assure you I don't love you any less than that.''

Ed lay back. ''Come,'' he waved at Oswald. ''Let's snuggle some more.'' Oswald followed him. It took him a while to find the best position. Finally he opted for resting his head under Ed's chin. Ed laughed when his husband's hair tickled him and buried his fingers in Oswald's hair, who closed his eyes and almost purred with pleasure.

''I like it.''

''Yeah, me too.''

''I'm truly sorry for what has happened. I've never wanted for any of this to happen,'' Ed sighed. ''I don't want to lose you.''

''Give it a rest already. We both made some stupid decisions.''

''You nearly drowned!''

''And you saved me,'' Oswald pointed out. ''Everything is fine now, Eddie,'' he patted Ed's chest.

They stayed like that for some time. Oswald's breath matching the rhythm of Ed's chest rising and falling. Ed felt that things were as they were supposed to be at last. He was at peace. He deemed himself the luckiest man to get to see that side of the fearsome kingpin. ''Honey, are you asleep?'' he asked curiously.

''No, not yet,'' Oswald yawned.

Ed smiled. _Good_ , he thought. Carrying Oswald upstairs without waking him up would be difficult and he would have hated to wake him.

''But since you mentioned that, I think I'll take a bath and go to sleep,'' Oswald slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes.

''I'm going with you.''

''To the bathroom?'' Oswald asked amused by the idea.

''I'm not letting you go alone there having heard it all,'' Ed kissed Oswald's shoulder.

''Ed, it's been almost two months! I don't know if you'd noticed, but I haven't drowned yet!''

''It'll put my mind at ease.''

''I'm never going to do that again, I told you!'' Oswald protested.

''I can be useful, I'll wash your back, Ozzie,'' Ed sang into Penguin's ear.

''Alright, you got me there,'' Cobblepot bit his lips to contain his smirk.

Ed helped his husband get up and went upstairs. When the bathtub was filled with warm water, Oswald got in and sat down. He took soap and applied it on his body. Then Ed took it and started washing his back.

''A little bit to the left,'' Oswald asked and Ed rubbed there. ''Ah, that's nice,'' Oswald sighed relaxed.

''At last you'll have properly washed back,'' Ed joked. ''I can also wash your hair,'' he offered removing soap from Oswald's back.

''I'd like that,'' Penguin smiled.

Ed wet Oswald's hair. Then he took a bottle, put some shampoo on his palm and rubbed it in Oswald's hair. ''At your service.'' Oswald turned his body a bit and splashed Ed. ''Great. I'm all wet now, thanks,'' Ed scoffed.

''Then take off your clothes and get in,'' Cobblepot smirked mischievously. Ed washed off shampoo from his head. ''You'll have to take a bath, anyway, Ed.''

''Just a moment,'' Ed started undressing.

Oswald eyed him. ''Bruises are gone, good,'' he nodded.

''It's been four weeks, of course they are gone,'' Ed rolled his eyes.

''Gosh, what a marvelous view you are.''

Ed stood proudly presenting his naked body. ''Why, thank you, dear.'' He flexed some more, enjoying how greedily Oswald was eyeing him. Then he plopped himself into the tub. ''This bathtub wasn't made for two,'' he grimaced.

''Especially when one person is so long-legged,'' Oswald rubbed Ed's knee. He splashed Ed and Ed splashed back. They were laughing like two kids playing in a tub. ''Turn around,'' Oswald commanded. ''I'll wash your back.''

''Ok,'' Nygma smiled and obediently complied.

Oswald squeezed his husband's shoulders. ''You're so tense, relax.'' As he washed, he rubbed Ed's back trying to make him less tense. Meanwhile, Ed soaped his body.

''Mmm, that's better,'' Ed moved his shoulders.

''Stand, or rather sit, still. There's still a business with your hair.'' Ed tilted his head backwards granting Oswald better access. Penguin hummed some song as he washed his husband's hair.

''Ow, I've got shampoo in my eyes,'' Ed blinked.

''Oh, stop complaining,'' Oswald moaned. When he was done, he washed off shampoo.

''Thanks,'' Ed smiled turning around to face Oswald again.

''You're welcome, darling.''

Ed wrapped his arms around the other man and kissed him. Then he tucked away wet strands from Oswald's face. ''Well, look at you! You are gorgeous.'' Oswald said nothing, only kissed Ed back. Then Ed turned around again and put his head on Oswald's shoulder, his back touching his husband's chest. He had to bend his knees as his legs were too long to fit into the bathtub in that position. Oswald played with Ed's locks and kept kissing top of his head once in a while. Ed lifted his chin. ''Water is getting cold, let's go.''

Oswald kissed Riddler's lips. ''Alright. Go first.'' Ed stood up, left the tub and helped his husband stand up as well. Then they dried themselves and put on their pajamas.

They walked out and as they walked down the corridor, Oswald tugged Ed's arm. ''Where do you think you are going?''

''To... my bedroom?'' Ed asked not getting Oswald's point.

''No, my love. You wanted to go to your former bedroom,'' he pointed at said room. ''And I suggest you go to _our_ bedroom.''

''Yeah, that actually sounds better,'' Ed awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. _Why didn't I think about it?_ , he wondered. _It was foreseeable._

They lay in complete silence, basking in each other's presence and proximity, Ed being the big spoon and Oswald being the little spoon. Ed wrapped his arms around smaller man placing his hand over Oswald's heart and Oswald put his hand on top of Ed's.

Next morning when Oswald was getting ready for work, in the dining room he spotted Ed still wearing his pajamas. ''I thought you wanted to move your things today? You can ask some of my men to help you get moving if that's a problem,'' he offered.

''I'll do it today, but I have some other plans for the nearest future,'' Ed grinned leaning against the doorframe in a weirdest pose Oswald had ever seen. He guessed it was supposed to be seductive.

He was afraid that his poor husband would hurt himself if he kept standing like that. ''Wanna have sex?'' he raised an eyebrow. Oh, Ed could be sometimes silly. Still, his odd posture did its job. Oswald didn't know Ed could bend like that and it kind of turned him on.

Nygma's grin grew even wider and he batted his eyelashes. ''Mhmm.''

''What are we waiting for, then?'' Oswald yanked Ed's arm and rushed upstairs. Finally he had his beloved back and everything else could wait. Maybe he should send Barbara and Lucius some gifts to thank them for their unwanted yet important help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! Thank you for reading. Do you have any feelings baout this fic you want to share? Go ahead!
> 
> I'd kinda like to see this fic from Barbara and Lucius' POVs, it could be funny. But I'm not writing it, it would take me too much time and I'd probably lose my inspiration while writing.
> 
> Me: *searching information about Italian cusine, checking things in astronomy books and Latin dictionary*  
> Me: Is that writing fanfiction?


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